Dating A Chinese Girl | PROs, CONs, and Winning Her Heart

The Chinese dating culture is quite old-school compared to western dating norms. Is it possible to overcome cultural and language barriers and successfully date a beautiful Chinese girl?

Chinese girls usually do not date casually and take it very seriously. She will be loyal to you and would want commitment. A Chinese girl values marriage over dating, so the dating phase might not last long. Also, you’ll expose yourself to one of the oldest cultures and delicious oriental food.

We are sharing some more insights in the form of advantages, disadvantages, and cool tips so that you avoid making any stupid mistakes while dating a Chinese girl.

PROs Of Dating A Chinese Girl

Mentioned below are some of the most commonly observed advantages of dating a Chinese girl.

Of course, since every person is different, not all might be true for your girl. Also, for things that are true, there would be variations.

1. Beautiful And Confident

Chinese girls are known for their flawless, baby-like skin. They are beautiful and quite confident when it comes to characteristics and personality.

Often, their hair is like shiny black silk. Most Asian girls hardly age and look quite young, thanks to their genetics and the healthy lifestyle they lead.

When around a Chinese girl, you won’t be able to take your eyes off of her and wonder how smooth her skin is.

She would be naturally so pretty that you would feel more and more attracted to her.

Beautiful And Confident

2. Up To Date With Fashion

Several East Asian countries have spectacular fashion choices, and China is one of them. Asian women are known for their unique fashion style.

They are elegant and full of grace. You’ll love how nicely she carries herself, and whatever she wears complements her personality immensely.

You’ll never get bored with her, and maybe you too will change a thing or two in your own wardrobe after feeling inspired.

3. Very Hard-working

People in China believe in working hard and being smart. They do not shirk work and hate to be dependent on others.

A Chinese girl would never make excuses about not doing her chores if she shares the same space with you and won’t let you do her share of work.

In fact, you should not be surprised if she finishes her work ahead of time. She would generally be punctual and value time.

So, you better not arrive late on that dinner date without a heads up as it can easily offend her.

4. Is A Keeper In A Relationship

Chinese girls are thought to work on problems and overcome them rather than quitting.

So if things go south in your dates or the relationship, you can count on your Chinese interest to not leave you alone.

She will be willing to work on the issues and resolve them till they end.

When with you, she won’t dump you over trivial things by saying it’s not working, let’s break up.

A Chinese girl would try to give her 100% in the relationship because this is what she has been taught since childhood.

She would do anything to make their relationship successful.

5. A Loyal Partner

Chinese women are known to be very loyal partners. Betraying their partner is against their cultural values.

Most probably, she won’t have wandering eyes.

Dating multiple people is considered immoral in China, so a Chinese girl would rather stick with one partner for life than cheat and break up.

A Chinese girl will fearlessly defend her lover and will be very devoted to the one she cares about.

She will stand by you at every step in life and will try to protect you from any harm.

6. Good Etiquette

Chinese girls are well-mannered and show great etiquette both socially and professionally. They follow their set of cultural rules sincerely.

You may never see a Chinese girl behaving inappropriately in public or disrespecting her elders.

They are taught to be in control of their emotions and express them as subtly as possible.

While dating a Chinese girl, you will learn the art of carrying yourself with grace and being courteous to people around you.

7. Great Culinary Skills

If you like Chinese food, then dating a Chinese girl would make you the happiest man.

Chinese women are usually great cooks as they are taught the skill from a young age.

Apart from the Chinese cuisine, they can also cook many delicacies known worldwide.

If you feel that you have tasted almost whatever Chinese have to offer, wait until you date a Chinese girl and get ready to be amazed.

8. Prioritizes Family

Chinese girls are homely and good at looking after their families. Many Asian girls also take great care of their families’ interests.

If you are someone for whom family matters the most, then marrying a Chinese girl would be perfect.

She will take care of your family like her own, and you would probably never hear your family complain about her.

Prioritizes Family

9. Humble And Soft Spoken

You would generally not see a Chinese girl being disrespectful to others, especially her elders.

We know this point is being discussed again, but it only shows how much politeness is valued in the Chinese culture.

Their culture doesn’t allow them to be rude or speak loudly with people. She will generally be lovely, well-spoken, and down to earth unless you irk her bad.

She will also never miss a chance to help other people around her, sometimes even total strangers.

While dating a Chinese girl, you will learn about their manners and being good to others without expecting something in return.

10. Conservative Lifestyle

Compared to western girls, you will find that Chinese girls are conservative in many ways.

They are not very outgoing, so she will not ask you frequently to go out for dinner dates and would prefer to cook a meal at home.

There would be intimacy in the bedroom but don’t expect her to go wild right from day one. Build gradually and hold your horses!

You could probably be her first boyfriend despite her being over 20 years of age. In case that’s true, both of you can benefit from my article which has some great advice about first time boyfriends.

11. Looks For Commitment

If you are tired of mindless dating streaks and want an actual relationship, then dating a Chinese girl would be right.

Chinese girls usually wish the guy wants commitment, is serious about her and looks forward to getting married in future.

She will not step into your life thinking of only dating you for a short time. Instead, she will try to take it toward a meaningful relationship.

She will focus more on building connections for a long-lasting relationship and make an extra effort to keep you happy.

It will work wonders if you do the same.

12. Excellent Physique

Chinese girls love to stay in shape and are known for their excellent physique worldwide.

Talk about her inner physical strength or outer beauty; she will more often than not excel in both.

A Chinese girl will always try to stay fit and help you stay in shape by keeping your diet in check and making you aware of your unhealthy habits.

Greens and nutritious meals are a must in Chinese households because thousands of years of history have drilled into them that a healthy mind resides in a healthy body.

Chinese people really care about what goes into their bodies.

It’s harder to find an obese person in China purely due to unhealthy eating habits compared to Europe or America.

13. You’d Closely Experience The Chinese Culture

While dating a Chinese girl, you will see their culture closely.

China is known for its unique culture, way of life, the perfect blend between ancient values and modern technology, delicious food, music, art and diversity.

Being from a traditional and cultural country, she would definitely want you to experience and know more about their cultural values and civilization.

14. Learning A New Language

Chinese people prefer speaking in their mother tongue, and knowing it would be a plus point for you while dating.

Any attempt to learn it will get you those brownie points!

It can also serve as a point to build a good connection with her while she tries to teach you her language.

When you pronounce something wrong, you will laugh together and create some happy memories around little moments.

At least you will have a new language skill with you if nothing else comes out of the dates or the relationship.

Learning A New Language

15. High Achievers

Chinese parents emphasize a lot on building a career and being self-dependent, even though they eventually want their daughters to get married.

The focus is also on overall development, so the girl would also have some experience in sports, arts, music, etc.

So, most Chinese girls are high achievers and won’t stop at anything that comes between them and their goals.

Chinese women are known to be highly ethical when it comes to work, sincerity, and diligence.

They would also pass on the same knowledge to their kids and motivate them to be high achievers in life.

CONs Of Dating A Chinese Girl

Again, given below are some generally observed behaviors. If the girl you are dating or plan on dating doesn’t show these traits, consider yourself lucky.

But knowing them beforehand is crucial to minimize the cultural shock!

1. Family Involvement

When you are dating a Chinese girl, you should expect her family to get involved in your relationship.

Chinese girls are obedient and can not disrespect their family and will always take their opinion over yours.

They will interfere in your personal matters, and you will have to deal with her family. Also, her family will always come first.

So, if you are looking for a less complicated, independent relationship, then dating a Chinese girl won’t be the right choice.

2. High Expectations

In China, men are expected to declare their love for the woman.

Your Chinese girlfriend would expect you to buy her gifts and make grand gestures to earn her affection.

She is not materialistic for wanting to be spoiled with gifts occasionally because it is considered romantic in the Chinese dating culture and shows that you care for her.

You will have to go the extra mile to woo her. Knowing what’s working and what’s not can be extremely confusing, as Chinese women are not very expressive.

3. Can Be Extremely Clingy

Chinese girls demand a lot of attention and take a lot of interest in your life even while dating.

She would want to stay in contact throughout the day and know everything about it.

She will expect you to send sweet text messages or call her at least four or five times a day to show that you care for her and miss her.

You will be considered selfish if you don’t do what she expects you to do and do not meet her regularly.

If you require personal space, you should know that she will want to stay by your side, and you may not get enough time for yourself.

4. Demands Pampering

You cannot expect a Chinese girl to take the lead in several situations, especially those on the romantic side of things.

She will want you to make plans and expect you to pay on dates, as it’s acceptable in the Chinese culture.

You are considered a proper gentleman if you do not let your date pay. Also, Chinese girls love to be pampered.

Chinese girls are very inspired by the dramas they watch and expect the same in real life from their partners.

So, don’t find it weird if she asks you to carry her purse while shopping because it’s prevalent among Chinese men.

5. Emphasize On Marriage Without Much Courting

Women in China take relationships very seriously and value marriage from a very young age.

They are under the pressure of getting married before they are 28 because after that, they are unfairly treated as leftovers by the society around them.

When a Chinese girl starts dating someone, she is very clear about what she wants and where to take the relationship.

She is probably looking for marriage, and you will feel the pressure very soon, probably within a few weeks.

She will quickly want to get married and have babies with you, rather than dating for an extended period without knowing where it’s going.

Emphasize On Marriage Without Much Courting

6. Unhealthy Dieting Habit

Being skinny is known to be attractive in Chinese, and women take a lot of pressure from society to stay skinny.

Chinese girls, for a fact, often starve themselves in order to stay in shape. She will avoid going to the gym and adopt a more natural way of staying fit.

So, don’t be surprised to see her skip meals after meals because it’s her way of losing weight and staying in shape.

7. Very Insecure

This one applies to women worldwide, but Chinese women can be obsessively insecure when in a relationship as compared to women from other countries.

She will always be skeptical about you cheating on her, even if you don’t intend to do so.

This would often result in a display of very controlling behavior on her part and tracking all your actions.

She might even go crazy after a breakup, especially if you’re the one who dumped her.

And just so that you know, taking revenge after a breakup is not a big deal among Chinese girls.

8. A Bit Of A Prude For Many

When it comes to getting intimate, Chinese girls are not very open to it.

She will be shy about holding hands and kissing in public, as that will be akin to losing face in society.

A Chinese girl probably would not allow you to get physical in the dating phase and may even suggest doing it after marriage.

She can even be a virgin because for her, being committed or married is important before sharing the bed.

9. Cultural And Language Barrier

Communication is crucial for a healthy relationship, and not being able to communicate with your partner due to the language barrier can create a lot of misunderstandings.

Also, Chinese girls value their traditions and culture a lot. She will expect you to do the same and even want you to learn her language.

You won’t be accepted if you have no regard for their cultural values. On the other hand, she might not be willing to know and understand your culture or tradition.

She may even want you to settle with her in China so that she can stay close to her family.

10. Very Blunt

While dating a Chinese girl, you should be aware that they are quite blunt and won’t hesitate before asking personal questions.

She will be up in your business asking you questions like what’s your job like and how much do you earn. Why?

Because that matters a lot to her as she is looking for a long-term mate with stability.

Also, she won’t feel uncomfortable telling you that you look fat or your dressing sense is lame.

She might even try to change things about you that she doesn’t think would fit in the Chinese society because, ultimately, she would want you to meet her parents one day.

11. Her Close Ones Might Not Approve Of You

If you are a foreigner and dating a Chinese girl, her friends and family might not like you.

Most people in China are not okay with a native dating someone from outside the country and may pass weird looks.

If you are planning to marry the Chinese girl you are dating, then it would be challenging to convince her family when you are not a native of China.

12. Highly Ambitious And Competitive

As said earlier, Chinese people are high achievers, and your Chinese girlfriend would want you to do the same.

She won’t be happy with a mediocre life because it would quickly get dull. You can not expect her to be satisfied with what you think is enough in life.

This kind of behavior can lead to fights in the long run.

Though Chinese girls tend to fix the relationship rather than breaking up, this is one of those rare instances where she won’t even hesitate to leave you for someone better.

So, do not expect to put low effort into your career and relationship and lead a happy, stress-free life.

You would be getting on your partner’s nerves, especially if she is Chinese.

Highly Ambitious And Competitive

How Do You Get A Chinese Girl To Fall In Love With You?

To make a Chinese girl fall in love with you, immerse yourself in her culture. This includes learning her language, cooking her favorite dishes, and being able to talk about Chinese music, arts, and political scenarios in general without having controversial opinions. Learn from her if you can!

Here is the detailed version of how to go about it:

1. Texting Equals To Dating

If it’s been weeks since you’ve only been texting with her, and it’s not turning into an actual date, do not give up because she might already be considering you exclusively.

In the Chinese dating culture, texting is strongly correlated to dating. It’s the getting to know phase through texts.

The girl will try to know as much as she can about you before saying yes to an actual date.

This is different from the Western dating etiquette, where the actual dates are the means to get to know each other.

If you have managed to get replies from her for this long, then know that she is interested in you, and meeting in person won’t take long now.

Enjoy this phase of ‘dating’ and gather information about her so that when you meet her, you can easily impress her by ordering things she likes.

2. Take The Lead

Most girls from China want their guys to take the lead and make decisions related to their relationship.

You must be the one to plan dates and extend an invitation to her every time.

This also includes being the first one to ask her out because she’ll not make the first move despite being interested in you.

You will be solely responsible for taking care of future meetings because she will never want to take the lead.

It shows your efforts to build a relationship with her and carefully play the role of that perfect boyfriend she has wanted for so long.

3. Take Selfies With Her

Most girls in China are crazy about taking pictures, especially selfies. They love to take pictures of anything and everything.

So it would be nice for you to share the same passion for photos as her and be comfortable clicking pictures with her or of her.

Be interesting, not boring with your photos, and think creatively to get a good snap.

Also, don’t fake being interested in those photos just to impress her, as she will see right through you.

She genuinely wants someone who loves creating memories with her, and what better than taking a pic and creating a permanent memory!

4. Pay For Your Dates

In the Chinese culture, unless the one you’re dealing with is a hardcore feminist, women love when their men pay the bills.

It shows that you can protect and provide for her without difficulties. She will consider it rude if you’ll let her pay the bills and may even think you don’t like her.

Your date would find you fit for being her partner if you politely reject her request to pay for things and never let her pay.

It shows that you are responsible and have a steady income. So, if she says she likes something in a store, you should think about gifting it to her.

Be ready to swipe your card and spend because not doing so will make you look broke and selfish.

Of course, the caveat is that the girl should not do it every day and every time you go out because then she is clearly using you to get stuff.

A decent girl would not ask you to buy her things every day but only express her fancy for something once in a while.

5. Meet Her Family

If you like a Chinese girl and want her to fall for you, you must be prepared to meet her family in advance.

For a girl in China, her family’s approval is essential, and if they don’t like you, then that might be the end of your love story.

And mind you, that approval is not easy to get. So, be ready to impress her family by knowing their culture, traditions, and language beforehand.

Be humble and respectful towards them.

Buy some nice gifts while visiting them because gifts are very much appreciated and a huge part of the Chinese culture.

Putting thought and value into whatever you buy for her family will give them a nice impression of you.

6. Learn Chinese

The Chinese language can be classified into several groups, but learning Mandarin can be your beginning point.

Talking to her in Mandarin (or whatever variation her mother tongue is) would give you an edge over other foreigners approaching a Chinese girl.

Knowing some basic Chinese can help you build a better connection and will make her feel close to you.

You can start with the speaking part and learn a few phrases like some compliments to pass.

The writing part is bound to give you a tough time because there are so many characters!

But when you do speak Chinese with your foreign accent, she will find it cute, or you both will probably laugh it out even if you goof up.

Learn Chinese

7. Focus On Deeper Connection

Usually, Chinese girls do not participate in casual relationships, and they are all in when they are dating you. She will expect you to do the same.

So you must take your relationship with her very seriously and focus on building a deeper connection with her.

Your Chinese girlfriend will appreciate you being loyal and honest with her. Show unconditional love and care, and she will do the same for you.

8. Show An Interest In Her Culture

It would be nice for your relationship with a Chinese girl if you knew basic things about their culture and tradition in advance.

This will also help you avoid some strict no-nos that might permanently hamper your chances with her.

Do not hesitate to show that you have done your research and are very keen to learn more.

Also, do not mock or hurt her beliefs, no matter how shallow they seem to you. I am sure several aspects of your culture are questionable too!

Endure and accept their cultural beliefs and try to be a part of their traditions.

9. Don’t Try To Get Too Physical Too Soon

It would be best to be patient and take things slow when dating a Chinese girl. Most Chinese girls believe in the traditional ways of dating.

Getting intimate while dating is considered improper when with a Chinese girl.

A kiss or two might be okay, but do not expect more than that or try and manipulate her into it.

Even if you want to test the waters before getting married, it would be appropriate to wait till the relationship stage, which can take some time.

Waiting till she is ready and approves of it would be very helpful and will give her a good impression of you.

It also shows your pure intentions towards her that you are not looking only for hookups but something long-lasting and meaningful.

10. Prioritize Her

Most Chinese girls don’t like it when their men talk to other girls or have many female friends.

Don’t expect her to be chilled out about random females calling you for any reason.

You must prioritize your girl over everyone else and also make sure to make her feel special.

You should not give her any idea that you are, in general, into Asian girls, even if that’s the only reason why you’re dating her.

It’s shallow, and no sane girl would be pleased to hear that. Instead, be with her for the unique person she is.

Show that you are with her because she is an exception and holds a special place in your life.

So unfollow and unfriend any other women you’ve been with or asked out in the past because if she finds out you’re still in touch, she will feel awful about it.

11. Stability Is Essential

The chances of a Chinese girl falling in love with you increase exponentially if she feels secure with you and you’re willing to get married in the future.

To impress her, it would be helpful if you own a decent house, a car, and a stable job.

These factors also play a significant role in getting her family’s approval because they want their daughter to settle with someone who can provide a better life after marriage.

Also, try to be ambitious in your approach and prove that you will be able to do everything that’s expected from you.

Are these demands unjustified and materialistic in nature?

For some, they might be, but they stem from the basic norm in the Chinese society that demands stability and fulfillment of necessary requirements over empty claims of love if you’re basically homeless.


These are some generalized opinions on dating a Chinese girl. Every girl is different and can’t be put in one category.

The experiences can differ from girl to girl, so be open and keep exploring your options.

One thing you can be sure of is that most Chinese girls are very caring and devoted in a relationship.

So you’ll be treated with lots of love and care while dating a Chinese girl.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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