First 3 Months Of Dating | What To Expect

Getting into a new relationship is exciting and usually a lot of fun. The first 3 months are all about getting to know the other person.

The first three months of dating involve going out on dates, understanding what makes them tick and figuring out if you have a future with them. Whether you are dating casually or looking for a future with them, the first three months are crucial in building trust and gauging compatibility.

Three months is a fair amount of time to get to know someone. The duration will be enough for you to know whether you want to take it forward with this person or if they’re not the one for you.

What To Expect In The First 3 Months Of Dating?

The first three months of dating can be quite thrilling. You may be getting butterflies while also being a little confused about your own feelings. In short, it’s a roller coaster ride of its own.

Here’s what you can expect in the first three months of dating:

1. The Honeymoon Phase

The first three months of a relationship are often called the honeymoon phase because it is a blissful period in which nothing seems amiss.

You will slowly get to know each other and learn what makes the other person happy and what ticks them off.

You will very likely see each other through rose-tinted glasses and find no faults with each other. You will love each other’s quirks and rarely feel annoyed.

By the end of three months, this phase will begin to fade, and you will begin to find out whether your relationship is sustainable or not. You should enjoy it without taking it for granted.

The Honeymoon Phase

2. A Time Full of Adventure

You are bound to find the first three months of dating your partner quite an exciting and adventurous time.

When a relationship is still new, you would both be more likely to put in a lot of effort in planning fun dates, discovering new places together, doing activities together, discovering new sides of their personality and spending a lot of intimate time with each other.

The sense of adventure will inevitably fade a little with time, but by the end of three months, if you can keep on putting in that effort and also be able to enjoy quiet, mundane moments with each other, then you will be headed in a good direction.

3. Finding Points of Connection

No matter how much you like someone, building something long-lasting with them is impossible unless you have things in common.

During the first three months of your relationship, you will discover shared interests and hobbies over which you can bond with each other and around which you can plan your days together.

If there is nothing in common, now is the time to take an interest in something new for both of you and cultivate that interest together.

Doing this successfully will be a lot of fun, but it will show you that you are both serious about each other and capable of putting in work when required.

4. Meeting Each Other’s Circle

Before the end of the first three months of your relationship, you would most likely have met each other’s friends and perhaps even family.

These are huge milestones because if you can get along with each other’s friends, even see a future in which you could call them your own friends.

If you fare well with each other’s family, too, it will go a long way in keeping the future of your relationship running smooth.

On the other hand, if there is conflict, you will learn key information about your partner and your relationship by seeing how you handle the problem together.

4. Opening Up and Building Trust

Once the adventure begins fading and you become a regular fixture of each other’s lives, you will slowly but surely start to communicate more deeply and meaningfully.

The more you begin to trust each other, the more you will open up to each other about your deepest desires, secrets, pains, and traumas.

You will start to confide in each other, be there for each other when things are hard, and celebrate together when they are good.

Connecting emotionally is a sure sign of something substantial between you.

5. Red Flags

Despite the first three months being the honeymoon phase, if you take off the rose-tinted glasses and stay clear-headed, you will begin to notice red flags.

These could be troubling, such as engaging in patterns of behavior that are unacceptable to you or just tiny things that set you off, but you would usually give them too much thought.

Instead of ignoring whatever seems like a red flag to you or immediately running away, take the first three months to create a space where you can communicate with each other and see how you can both improve yourselves and treat each other better.

6. The Possibility of Incompatibility

In the first three months of dating, you might also discover that you and your partner just aren’t the most compatible people.

If you like each other a lot, it is quite likely that you will try to ignore this lack of compatibility and try to make things work regardless.

Instead of ignoring it, take the first three months to see if you can work around the things that make you incompatible.

It’s hard to let go of a relationship because of incompatibility, but by the end of three months, you should know whether you can make a few compromises or whether this is the end.

The Possibility of Incompatibility

What Is The 3-Month Rule In Dating?

The 3-month rule in dating is waiting for three months before taking the next step in a relationship. It helps to take it easy at the start as it lets you figure out your long-term plans with your partner. After three months, you might want to end up marrying a person or not be with them anymore.

Here’s how you can adhere to the three-month rule:

1. Get to Know Them Better

This might seem obvious, but it is the most important thing to do. Knowing someone better would be the key to figuring out whether you see a future with this person or not.

This would involve going out on dates with them, talking about your past and discussing your plans for the future.

Talking about those things would also allow you to know more about their values, beliefs and priorities.

For example, if they were to judge you for having a promiscuous past, you would know that they are not the right one for you.

2. Maintain A Separate Identity

It is important to be in a relationship that lets you exist outside of it and doesn’t become the core part of your identity.

While it is natural to gravitate toward your new partner and do things with them, you should be careful not to overdo it.

It is important to maintain your individuality at the start and do what you wish to do as well.

This would involve having your own separate hobbies and time to yourself. It is totally okay not to share every single aspect of your life with your partner.

3. Be More Relaxed Around Each Other

At the start of a relationship, most people try their best to impress the other person. This behavior is totally understandable for the first month.

But eventually, you should become more relaxed with your partner. This means being more casual around each other.

You are okay not dressing up fancy for dates, and you become okay with them seeing your unflattering self, your odd habits and preferences, and your flaws.

You start calling each other names and making fun of each other. You stop playing mind games to keep them second-guessing. You should be able to be your authentic self.

4. Discuss Your Relationship Styles

Your relational style is how you interact with someone depending on your relationship with them.

Understanding your partner’s relationship style and seeing if it matches yours is crucial in connecting with them.

You should talk about what label to attach to your relationship, your respective love languages, and how you address conflicts. After all, these are reflections of your personality.

It would be difficult building a relationship with someone if you do not understand them or if you have clashing relationship styles.

5. Clarify Your Deal Breakers

Not expressing your deal breakers early in the relationship is a recipe for inviting pain in the future.

While it is a difficult conversation to have, it lets you be honest about yourself and uncover a lot about your partner.

For example, if you discover you and your partner have different ideas about wanting children, it would be better to end the relationship there instead of finding this out a few years later.

Trust yourself and your partner to get past this difficult conversation.

6. Be With Them Around Other People

Sometimes, people treat us differently when we are alone with them and when we are around others.

People are often caught off-guard when they see their partner act completely differently in a social setting.

This happens because it is easier to interact and be around someone one-on-one than in a group.

You should get a sense of how your partner reacts when you are together and around other people. If your partner acts very differently, then that is something for you to discuss with them.

Meeting your friends and their friends would be a good place to see how they act around other people.

Be With Them Around Other People

7. Wait to Confess Your Feelings

If everything goes right and your partner is an amazing person, you will find yourself falling in love with them.

However, you must wait to let them know this. This would be crucial as you also need to understand what your partner seeks out of the relationship.

If your partner is looking for a fling, confessing your feelings only leads to rejection and hurt. Sometimes, waiting is the best thing you can do. 

Can You Fall In Love In 3 Months?

However unlikely, it is possible to fall in love in 3 months. Research suggests that men are more prone to falling in love in a span of three months- as compared to women, who need an average of 5 months.

The timeline for falling in love can never be too precise, and at the end of the day, it depends on a myriad of factors. You can fall in love within 3 months when you can strike the following three of your list:

1. High Compatibility

One of the major factors involved in the success of any relationship is compatibility. And unfortunately, matching your signs will not give you all the answers.

Couples exhibiting high compatibility are more likely to fall in love in a shorter span than those who aren’t as compatible.

If your views, beliefs, and goals align perfectly – you and your partner can certainly fall in love in 3 months.

However, most couples have to work together towards gaining higher compatibility and getting along despite the differences over time.

2. Quality of Time Spent Together

The amount of time you spend together and its quality are both essential factors. If you only meet once or twice a week, it’s highly unlikely that you will fall in love as quickly as 3 months.

6-8 meetings are just not enough to get to know someone deeply.

However, suppose you often spend time together at a class every evening or are volunteering at a shelter where you can talk and share an activity.

In that case, it is probable that you start liking and end up loving them rather quickly.

Even if you regularly meet at the park or at your home, the quality of your conversations can tell you whether they’re the one or not.

3. A Sense of Emotional Maturity

To fall in love within three months and not mistake infatuation for love, both parties involved must have a sense of emotional maturity.

Most couples have to learn to heal from previous relationships and deal with insecurities that come to the surface only once they start dating someone.

Seeing your own flaws and your partner’s flaws and accepting them can take quite some time for most people.

On the other hand, if you and your partner already have a deeper understanding of your individual identity and acceptance of flaws, you may be able to skip several steps and see each other through a lens of love and take the relationship forward successfully.

If you think you may have fallen in love in 3 months, it can leave you in a doozy. Here’s how to take it forward:

Go with the Flow

Love may be coming very naturally to both of you. Your best bet at the time is to let events unfold on their own and act accordingly rather than trying to control the tide.

Allow your compatibility to guide you through the relationship to succeed at it.

Go with the Flow

Give the Other Person Time

Just because you think you’re in love doesn’t always mean the other person does too. Even if they have claimed it, they may not be ready yet to pursue the next milestone.

Allow your partner to have some space and time of their own and jump to the next stage only when both of you are ready.

Continue to Put in the Effort

The easiest way to let attraction and love fade away is to stop putting in effort.

Just because you and your partner are together and in love now only means that you should keep treating them as special and appreciate what you have.


You should focus on having a good time and enjoying the honeymoon period of your relationship.

With enough time and commitment, your relationship will blossom, and your love for each other will surely grow.

Communicate consistently with each other to find out whether they are the one for you. But remember to take it slow and enjoy the ride in the meantime.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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