Love is in the air! – Oops, now “it was”. Maybe you never saw it coming; maybe you did. Either way, love can hurt. Especially when it ends.
Most people can get over a breakup within a month or two of their relationship. Being in a relationship is very similar to habits – and to break them, you’ll need more than 21 days. Since our connection to others is more complicated, this figure is impacted by a number of factors for each person.
Trying out our scale can give you some context and a picture of how long you might take to get over your breakup based on such factors. Crossing your fingers now because you’re in for a ride!
Time Needed To Move On From A Breakup Calculator – Guidelines
It’s simple, short, and easy. Don’t forget to skim through the guidelines before you jump into the test, and you’ll be good to go!
- There are eight questions, with five options each.
- Try to answer each question honestly and instinctively.
- Do not ponder over a question for too long.
- Once you answer all the eight questions, simply click the ‘Calculate’ button to see your result.
It’s important to understand that the results of this calculator is not the gospel.
But they’re based on what I’ve observed in several people who came to me after their breakup, seeking help.
I sincerely hope you mend your broken heart as soon as possible and move forward in life.
Time Required To Get Over A Breakup Calculator
How Each Element In The Calculator Affects The Length Of Breakup Recovery?
A calculator result cannot be one-size-fits-all. Don’t let it discourage you or put you off the wrong track. Each aspect has something to contribute.
To customize your understanding of how long you might take to get over your ex, analyze where you truly stand in each segment of the scale and how it truly impacts you.
1. Duration of Relationship
It’s no surprise that the longer you’ve been with someone, the harder it can be to move on. When you’ve been with someone long enough, your life adapts to their lifestyle.
Your activities, daily routines, and habits – all of them are influenced and supplemented by that one person who is always with you.
Since they have penetrated so deeply into your lives, every activity throughout the day can remind you of them and hurt you. It’s almost as if their presence has become a habit for you.
2. Quality Time and Shared Value
In addition to a quantitative duration, the strength of your relationship and how deep your feelings are is determined by the time you spend together.
If you were with someone for four years, but their presence was rare in your life, the impact of their loss can be quite minimal.
It is the value that they add to your life and the memories you build with them that get your heart and mind. Without the memories, there isn’t much left to reminisce about.
3. Cause of Break-Up
Couples can break up due to unimaginable reasons, and not all of them hurt the same.
The cause of break up is also a more personalized option to think about because what may hurt the other person the most may not necessarily be the same for you.
For most of us, having our faith and trust broken is one of the most hurtful ways to break up. When a partner comes and talks to you about it, you can eventually learn and understand their space.
Whereas having been lied to and finding out the truth on your own can leave a more permanent scar and long-term trust issues.
4. Stability of Your Relationship
Your emotional investment and involvement in the relationship can also manifest in the form of your fights.
If you have been fighting, arguing, and breaking and patching up often, breaking up yet once again may not hurt as much.
Having broken up on and off during multiple occasions and arguments can get you used to it. Eventually, it stops being such a big deal to you.
However, it will still sting a little more when you realize the permanency of your break up, but it won’t take you aback or make it hard for you to process it.
It can be much harder to get over it for those in long, stable, and healthy relationships to suddenly break up.
Similar to stability, if you see a breakup coming and it actually comes – there’s not much room for shock and surprise.
But unlike in the case of stability, anticipation does not come just because of fights or previous breakups.
You could be quietly observing changes in you or your partner’s behavior, assessing circumstances, and calculating for a long time to know that it’s nearing its end.
When you aren’t anticipating a breakup, it can trigger a traumatic response which is usually much more difficult to handle and deal with.
6. Mutual Social Circles
Breaking up with a partner can often translate into breaking up with friends too. If you are too close to your friends and family, breaking up with your partner can become even scarier.
Your loss suddenly becomes much bigger.
Although their friends and family don’t need to completely cut you out of their lives if you were heavily emotionally invested, it is still not the same thing as when you were together.
You eventually start seeing them less and less – and things seem to keep becoming awkward.
7. Availability of Support Systems
Breaking up is emotionally hard on all of us. And like most other causes of feeling low and sad, we oftentimes need the support and help of those around us to recover quickly.
When you have a close-knit circle, you are less likely to feel as if your world has collapsed.
They may not be able to fill that void, but having people who make you feel loved allows you to be in a safe space and become comfortable.
If you can open it up, it’s bonus points! Expressing your emotions and letting them out always helps people accept reality, move on, and heal quicker.
8. Past Experiences and Relationships
They say the first breakup is the hardest – and it’s not entirely wrong. The more experience you have with breakups, the better you know how to handle the situation and take care of yourself.
Moreover, since you’ve already recovered so many times, you don’t really consider it an “end-all” situation. You know it eventually gets better.
With little to no experience, you can have a hard time taking care of yourself because you yet don’t understand what works for you.
Practice makes you perfect – even in breakups.
Breaking up is a scary situation. We all have short lives, and we don’t want to waste it away collecting traumas or being with the wrong person.
But breakups are essential. These relationships can prepare you for the real deal; teach you about life, people, and love languages; and, most importantly, help you grow.
Either way, getting over a breakup is going to be hard. The best way is to stop persisting. After one time, stop calculating, planning, or replaying thoughts – and before you know it, they’ll be gone.