How To Get A Guy To Text You Without Texting Him? | 17 Tips

Wouldn’t you love it if he texts you first? Helps you gauge how much he’s interested in you and allows you to tease him a bit without openly showing you like him. But how to make him text you first?

Get him to text you first without texting him by displaying attractive qualities in his presence so that he misses you when you’re absent. Being well-groomed, having a good dressing sense, teasing, mild flirting, bantering, a bit of a push and pull, etc., are a few ways to make him crazy about you.

He won’t stop thinking about you when you do things that leave a lasting effect. In this post, we’ll also discuss how to be an enjoyable company so he won’t hesitate to text you first.

Making A Guy Text You First

The art of making a guy text you first isn’t about being a toxic person and trying to fake something that you aren’t.

It is only about sending that subtle, non-verbal message that you are a high-quality woman.

Here are a few things you need to remember so that you don’t go in the wrong direction.

1. Play The Long Game

The first and foremost thing to do when trying to make a guy text you first is to be patient and wait.

You’ll need to control that burning urge inside you to contact him at the drop of a hat.

When you always text him first, you take the tension out of the equation, thus fizzling out the chemistry even before it develops.

In a way, you’re reducing the effort he would have made and making things easier for him by giving him a passage to approach you. Where’s the fun in that?

Now, don’t mistake this advice as playing childish mind games and trying to be ‘hard to get’. Attractive, high-value women don’t play hard to get.

They are actually hard to get.

According to a research titled “Playing hard to get”: Understanding an elusive phenomenon,

Conducted 5 experiments testing the folklore that the woman who is hard to get is a more desirable catch than the woman who is too eager for an alliance. All 5 experiments failed.

Walster, E., Walster, G. W., Piliavin, J., & Schmidt, L. (1973). “Playing hard to get”: Understanding an elusive phenomenon. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 26(1), 113–121.

If you initiate that text conversation openly letting the guy know you’re interested in him, he will most likely not put that much of an effort into pursuing you.

Play The Long Game

2. Be Visible On His Radar

A guy won’t text you at all if he doesn’t know you exist. You know that you would love a text from him, but what will nudge him to do that?

For him to text you, you need to be visible. Don’t be part of a crowd. Rather, emerge as someone different.

Have your own unique personality and way of doing things.

Now, of course, this won’t work if you are all unique and choose to stay in your own merry world in some invisible corner.

Being a part of the circle of people where he often hangs out is one way to be on his radar.

But do not conform to what you think he’ll like in you.

The harder you try to win his attention, the more chances he’ll think you are weird and would choose to stay away.

3. Befriend Him On Social Media But Not From Your Home

If he is not texting you on your number, try to connect with him through social media the next time you meet.

Note that we aren’t asking you to sit in the comfort of your home and send a follow request.

Make sure that you have a look at each other’s social media pages while being physically present next to each other.

Perform any follow, liking action during that moment.

This will trigger the memory of this moment for the next few days when he’s casually browsing his social media and sees you pop up.

It is not only a nice way to keep feeding his mind with your stories and pictures but also making him send that DM and maybe take it to text or calls.

When your posts constantly pop up on his feed, he will text you.

4. Flirting Through Teasing

When you are not texting him first, how will he get the idea to text you first? Here comes the social media trick.

Of course, assuming that you both follow each other, when you’ll post stories and pictures looking all stunning, it will sweep him off the ground.

He would definitely want to text you to compliment you or drop in a comment that can begin a bit of a to and fro.

It also allows him to express his interest and likings towards you through those emojis, reactions to your stories or through subtle compliments in your inbox.

5. Keep The Communication Open Ended

Whenever you have conversations with him, try to keep them open-ended.

Ask questions and respond in a way that encourages him to ask you some questions in return. Don’t shut him down.

Sometimes we unknowingly send a person away but think we were being our best self.

Not being overly chatty is good, but overdoing the silence would make him uncomfortable, and he will think twice before texting you first.

Whenever you talk to him in the real world, observe whether the way you respond puts him off as you might be coming off as a closed person.

Avoid using ‘hmmm’ or ‘okay’ without following it up with something. Do it too much, and he’ll think his presence is unwanted.

It will discourage him from texting you at all.

6. Make Him Feel Comfortable

Maybe he is not texting you first because he feels uncomfortable conversing with you.

You need to understand him and give him a secure space to chat with you.

Make him feel comfortable with you, and don’t get easily offended by little things, inside jokes, light bantering, or try to act defensive about everything he says.

When he is at ease around you, he will initiate the texts because he would know that you understand his style of humor without being judgemental about it.

But of course, you’ll need to know where to draw the line, too, so that he just doesn’t get away by saying mean stuff and insulting you.

In that case, you should rather worry about how to make sure he doesn’t stay in your life at all.

Make Him Feel Comfortable

7. Spice Things Up With Him

No one would want to indulge themselves in plain and boring conversations.

He won’t waste his time and energy over texting if he is not excited after talking to you. You need to spice things up a little.

Start with subtle flirting and invoke those tingling sensations in him. If not that, then talk about things that excite him.

Know beforehand things he is interested in and would never get bored talking about. But don’t make yourself too available to him all the time.

Else, it will kill all the mystery, and he’d have no reason to text you when he’s home. Pique his interest just enough and wait till you get that coveted message.

8. Show Some Excitement But Don’t Make It Unnatural

Your response pattern should not show a lack of interest in things he is talking about. He will get the impression that you are bored of him.

This will demotivate him, and he will avoid initiating a text at all. Show some excitement and be cheerful and fun to talk to.

If you don’t like the things he is talking about, change the topic in a fun and subtle manner into something you both vibe on.

No need to stick to the stuff that bores you just because you’re interested in him. Don’t make him feel bad, though, by being rude and abrupt about it.

Also, don’t be a try-hard because it’s off-putting. He’ll see right through you.

9. Bump Into Him ‘Accidentally’

If you know he follows certain routes or has some favorite places where he frequently hangs out, you can ‘accidentally’ bump into him.

Just make sure you look fabulous so that his brain connects the best image of you with his favorite place. He’ll think about you the next time he’s there.

Be your best self and work your charm.

If you play this one right, he may want to text you first after a few hours and discuss more the encounter and his favorite place.

Also, this one is creepy, and you shouldn’t indulge in such behavior, but you can know his location through social media if he is into posting stories.

But the question is should you do so? Not unless you want to be seen as a stalker when he finds out.

Guessing where he might go this weekend because you talked to him directly a few days ago is a more ethical way to go about it.

10. Use Your Common Interests

Common interest can help you build a connection with him. It could be anything like music, tv shows, movies etc.

You will vibe on these things or be able to make some inside jokes yourself.

It will help you bond with him and avoid making your conversations feel bland even if they go off track for a bit.

One of you can pick your favorite common topic and be right back at it!

And the next time when maybe he sees something related, like a funny meme, it will remind him of you.

There are strong chances he’ll want to share that over text.

11. Mirror His Behavior

If he is never texting you first, sometimes the best way is to make him taste his own medicine. Start following his pattern and do exactly as he does.

If he is replying late, then you reply extra late.

Don’t do it on purpose, just to show him, but rather be genuinely busy with interesting things in your own life.

When you have your own stuff going on, it not only makes your own life meaningful but also makes you seem more attractive in his eyes.

Suppose he is not initiating the text, then you, too, don’t text first for several days if needed.

It will make him anxious, and he will start to think that you are losing interest in him.

And he will notice the change and would want to text you first to keep your interest in him intact.

Mirror His Behavior

12. Leave Him Wanting More

Every time you meet him personally or chat with him, try to be engaging, playful and witty in your ways.

Leave such an impact on him that he will remember you even after you are no longer around. Make him want you more every time you make contact.

It could be by the way you behave with him when together or the things you chat about on text.

It would work like a charm if done seductively or flirtatiously if related to previous experiences you know he’d love to know more about.

Leave things halfway after igniting his curiosity to make him come back to you again by initiating the desired text message.

13. Give Him Time To Miss You

Don’t be available for him all the time.

If you are always there for him at the drop of a hat, he wouldn’t have the time and space needed to miss your presence.

Rather, he’ll see no value in you and start taking you for granted.

When he doesn’t see a single notification from you during his day, he would definitely text you first if it would genuinely bother him.

So leave your phone aside and wait for him to text you.

14. Don’t Play All Your Cards At Once

Being an open book is nice, but when trying to attract him, it would be great to unfold the mystery called ‘you’ bit by bit.

For most people, a person or a book seems interesting to us only till we do not know the contents.

The more time you take before he knows all about you, the more positive attention you would get from him. Don’t reveal yourself all at once.

Let him guess, let him earn it with time, and make him work for it. We value those things the most, for which we had to struggle a lot.

If done right by keeping the perfect balance between what you show and what you hide, he’d feel compelled to text you first because he’d want to know more.

15. Create Sizzling Chemistry And Tension

Give him hints of being physically attracted to him.

During chats, you could use emojis to describe your naughty feelings and when together, use your body language to hint towards the same.

Compliment his posts where he is showing off his body. Build some tension in your chats if you are comfortable.

He will never take his hand off his phone if you learn the art of creating chemistry out of thin air.

He would initiate the text every day to get that rush he feels when you tease him.

16. Don’t Pick His Calls For A While

If you think this guy is not a text person because texting feels too much of an effort to him, try this. Stop responding to his calls for a while.

This might feel a bit extreme, but it achieves a multifold purpose. Firstly, it creates in him the fear of you losing interest.

He’d want to get to know what’s going on, and the only way to do that is to reach out to you through text.

Secondly, it will push him out of his comfort zone of not being a texting guy because it will make him work for getting your time and attention.

As discussed in the previous point, it’s quite important that he ‘wins’ your time.

Don't Pick His Calls For A While

17. Divert Your Mind

Instead of sitting there getting anxious while waiting for him to text, put your thoughts to better use. Do things that will actually turn out to be fruitful for you.

Dive into things you are passionate about. Stop obsessing over the fact that he is not texting you. Live your life instead.

Initially, you’ll count every second, and it will feel like he is taking forever to text you. But you can win over this urge to text him first in due time if you stick to it.

Thousands of others have done it, and you can too. Indulge yourself in activities you love. Make plans, go out, don’t just sit there waiting.

Don’t let the infinite wait for his first text stop you from living.

You won’t know when the time flies by, and you begin regretting all the time you’ve wasted on something that maybe was not even worth it, to begin with.

And who knows, you might actually get a text from him.


Texting can be boring and time-consuming. To create his interest in texting you, you should come across to him as someone who is fun to chat with.

Attract him and give him reasons to reach out to you. Find things of mutual interest and bond on something valuable to create a solid connection.

If he still does not initiate with that first text after everything you’ve done, then probably it’s time to accept that he’s not into you.

Ignore him, focus on other people who might value you much more, and carry on with your life. Don’t sit by your phone waiting and overthinking.

It will lead to nothing.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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