How To Make Someone Break Up With You? | A Complete Guide

Getting someone to break up with you won’t happen overnight. You’ll have to corner a person into submission gradually.

To make someone break up with you, create an emotional distance and get them to hate you. Always disappoint your partner and nag about everything to no end. Make mistakes and never accept them or apologize. Turn your relationship into a cold, barren desert of distrust and constant fights.

If you do not want to scar your partner forever, you can also use some less brutal methods discussed later.

Ways To Get Your Partner To Break Up With You

Caution: Some of these methods are extremely hurtful. Think twice before using them.

We’re not judging you about why you need to use these methods but you’ve been warned.

Here is how you can strangle your relationship to death.

1. Stop Putting Efforts

To prosper, a healthy relationship requires a great amount of energy and effort from both partners.

One of you failing to do so is enough for the relationship to fall apart. You need to stop putting any effort into the relationship.

Be lazy in your approach and let your attitude show that you don’t care anymore.

Even when your partner expresses concerns that the relationship doesn’t feel as warm as before and something feels off, dismiss their thoughts as stupid.

TABLE: Breakups Based On Partner’s Effort

Level Of EffortPercentage
Low – Less effort than me56%
Medium – Same effort as me18%
High – Tried too hard26%
Source: A study by consisting of 138 individuals between 18-65 years who have had at least one breakup in life.
Stop Putting Efforts

2. Start Ignoring Your Partner

The best thing about being with someone is the feeling that they are there for you no matter what.

But you need to steal that feeling away from your partner. Behave distant and aloof and start ignoring your partner.

Let them feel alone even when they are feeling low someday and just want a hug. This will make them lonely and leave them in desperate need of company.

They will gradually start looking for it somewhere else.

3. Don’t Take Any Interest In Their Life

Pretend to be non-interested in things that matter a lot to them.

It could be an upcoming event where they really want you to be or a place they only wanted to see with you.

Don’t listen to them when they want to share their happiness with you.

Stop getting involved when they have some good news to share and don’t appreciate their achievements.

Don’t give your partner the emotional support they need from you when something terrible happens.

This will mentally exhaust them to no end, and they will be left with no one to talk to. It will drive them away from you.

4. Be Secretive

You need to be secretive about your life. Stop sharing anything about what’s going on in your life with your partner.

They should not get any information about where you go, what you do these days, and how you feel.

Let them go crazy thinking about what’s going on in your head. Even if they try to ask, shut them off completely.

Make them feel as if something is wrong with you, and maybe you’re up to no good. Hide your personal life from them.

5. Show Less Care Or None At All

Remember how you used to take care of them and get worried for them? Do the complete opposite of it now. Be careless in your attitude.

Make them feel that they are on their own now, and caring for them is the last thing on your mind.

When confronted, tell them not to behave like a baby, seek attention or beg for your approval.

Say that they should deal with their problems on their own, and you don’t want to have any of it.

If they bring it up again, tell them how they are bothering you, and you don’t like it one bit.

6. Express Doubts About The Future

What will make them extremely upset?

It is when you’ll tell them that you don’t see yourself together in the future and you are not sure about spending your whole life together.

On top of that, if you say they are not what you wanted in a partner, it will completely throw them off.

They will be forced to rethink this relationship and the clearly non-existent bond between the two of you.

Express Doubts About The Future

7. Stop Expressing Love

When you want to push someone away, you must stop doing the things that bring them close to you.

You need to stop expressing your love for them and become cold and unaffectionate.

Don’t provide them the comfortable and warm space they once used to have in your arms. And stop saying I love you as soon as possible.

When they say it, reply with something like “Hmm” or “Yeah, okay.”

That’s a direct hint about your lost love. Sooner or later, they will see the whole picture and might even decide to let you go.

8. Cease Getting Intimate

When it comes to romantic relationships, physical intimacy is extremely important. Without it, relationships start becoming dull and unhealthy.

Not being intimate with your partner will leave them unsatisfied and restless. Avoid physical contact as much as possible.

This even includes hugging, cuddling, and even holding hands. If you live with them, keep your distance while sleeping.

If they try to make a move on you, act as if you are disgusted by it.

Make sure they feel your discomfort to the extent that they won’t even try the next time or stay away for at least 4-5 days.

Lack of intimacy might even drive them to cheat on you and give you a chance to come out cleanly from this relationship.

9. Do The Opposite Of What They Like

To make your partner break up with you, you need to continually disappoint them.

Become someone who is the complete opposite of the person they thought you were. Have a personality that bugs them.

When it comes to dates and activities, don’t listen to their wish at all. If they want to stay indoors, go out in a crowded place.

If they want to go out somewhere, refuse to step out. When they want some alone time, hand around and nag about any trivial thing.

When they want to spend time with you, say that they’re getting too pushy. If they like your hair long, cut them short.

Dress in a way that you’ve always wanted to but didn’t because your partner wasn’t very fond of that particular style.

In a nutshell, do things that your partner doesn’t like or approve of.

10. Express That You Are Not Happy

Show them that you are not happy in this relationship. You wanted something else from your relationship, but you got something completely different and horrible.

Be disappointed about how things turned out to be. Express disappointment about everything they do or say.

When they try to make you happy, get even more furious about the fact that they’re only trying it to appease you.

Behave as if everything they do irritates you to your core. Make them feel that they are not the person you imagined them to be.

If your partner is in love with you, it would kill them to see you unhappy.

And if they know that they are the reason behind it, it will make them act emotionally, and they’ll be prone to make more mistakes.

You can then leverage those mistakes and make even more fuss.

Express That You Are Not Happy

11. Act All Weird About Your Phone

When you both decide to have quality time together, act bored or keep using your phone. Do it on date nights as well.

Whenever they are trying to be romantic, throw them off by deflating their efforts. They might try to reach out for your phone and keep it away.

They could also try to look into what is it you’re doing that’s much more important than them.

In such a case, freak out and act as if you don’t want them to see something on your phone. They should feel like you are trying to hide something.

Further, change all the passwords that you share with your partner.

If they ask why, tell them passwords are supposed to be private, and you shouldn’t have shared them in the first place.

And even if you did, you don’t want to share it anymore. Seeing you fiddling with your phone all the time will give birth to a lot of doubts in their mind.

They might even suspect you of cheating on them or accuse you. That would be the perfect excuse to leave them since you haven’t done anything wrong.

12. Flirt With Their Friends Or Others

Make your partner feel jealous and insecure. Flirt with other people in front of them and if possible try it with their friends.

Their friends will point out your flirty vibes to your partner in your absence. It will be embarrassing and shameful.

They will confront you and ask you to stop doing so, and you can use this very opportunity to create a huge scene and make them break up with you.

13. Stop Being The Perfect Partner

What sabotages a relationship the most is when you stop trying to make your partner feel special.

You know very well how they want you to be with them, and you may have even tried hard being that person to impress them. Give up on all that.

Stop giving them what they desire from this relationship. Eradicate every reason because of which your partner is with you in the first place.

Never find common grounds when you fight and instead be unreasonably stubborn. If they give you less time, tell them how neglected you feel.

If they spend too much time around you, rebuke them for not having a life. Divert all your attention from them and onto yourself.

Make this relationship all about you to the point where they see how selfish you’re being.

They should never have a moment of peace when they are with you. Become their worst nightmare.

14. Go Out Without Them More Often

Your partner should feel left out from your life. You can even take it a notch up.

If your partner doesn’t like a particular friend of yours, it’s time to get in touch with them. Make plans and go out with them almost every week.

This will be even more effective when you cancel your dates at the last moment to make time for this friend.

It will make your partner furious, and they will see that this relationship doesn’t matter to you at all.

15. Play Blame Games

Playing blame games in a relationship is a great way to take away the mental peace of your partner.

Start blaming them for small things going wrong in your life and then amp it up by blaming them for your whole relationship being a disaster.

The key is to be at fault by deliberately doing things to sabotage your relationship but never accepting your mistakes.

Dig deep into their past and shame them for their mistakes during arguments.

Always mention how badly you regret being with them and how terrible they are as a partner.

If you don’t want to hurt them a lot, follow it up with how they are a nice person otherwise and a good friend but an absolutely horrible partner.

Play Blame Games

16. Start Lying About Everything

Stop being honest with your partner, even about the tiniest of things. Create an environment where they will doubt every action of yours every day.

Stretch it to an extent where they will stop trusting you. Lie about your day, the friends you go out with or what you were up to when they weren’t home.

The trick is to make the lies so obvious that they will catch them sooner or later with just a little background check.

And when they do catch you, get all defensive.

Make excuses not to spend time with them and make sure that they get the idea that you are just making excuses to avoid their company.

17. Pick Up Fights On Purpose

Regular fights and arguments are some of the biggest reasons why relationships don’t survive. You have to master this one, though.

Argue with them about silly things. We guess it won’t come naturally to you, so it will take some time to practice.

Always have a different opinion on everything and turn it into a fight.

It could be about your preferred place for dinner, the kind of clothes either of you wears, or something as simple as watching something on the T.V.

Never be on the same page about anything. With time, make these fights as ugly as you can so that they get frustrated enough to break up with you.

18. Break Their Trust Repeatedly

Make them doubt your loyalty and feelings towards them. Show them that you are not someone worthy of their trust.

Go out with someone and deliberately be seen by your partner. When you ‘accidentally stumble’ into them, act all weird and try to act way nicer than usual.

This will certainly get your partner’s defenses up. Later, when they ask you about who the person was, write them off with something like, “just a friend.”

If your partner tries to dig more information out from you directly or indirectly, tell them that it’s none of their concern as long as you aren’t cheating.

Gradually, it will become difficult for your partner to spend even a single day with you, i.e., a person they can’t fully trust.

19. Bitch About Their Family And Friends

No one wants to spend time with someone who can’t stand the other person’s family and friends.

Bitch as much as you can about their loved ones and say how you are never comfortable around them.

You can bitch either directly in front of your partner or indirectly to common friends. The words will reach your partner sooner or later.

You don’t even need to be disingenuous about it. Everyone has flaws.

Some other person in your place might have adjusted to how your partner’s friends and folks are, but you need to crib about the tiniest of things.

Become extremely petty.

20. Cheat On Your Partner

This method is not at all recommended. It can tear your partner into pieces and scar them for a long time.

Moreover, you might not be able to look at yourself in the mirror for the rest of your life.

Even though doing it is pretty easy, the consequences are unpredictable and devastating. It can end very badly for you too.

But it is extremely effective in quickly making someone end any relationship with you.

Cheat On Your Partner

21. Ridicule Your Partner

We won’t advise you to do this until you’ve tried everything else and failed. Disrespecting your partner will be going way out of your line.

Use it as your last resort.

Treat this method like a nuclear weapon which is to be used only when you have your back against the wall, and you couldn’t have done anything else.

Question their character, their purpose in life, and their achievements. Insult them in front of friends and family.

Ridicule them to no end and at the same time sing to no end how others are much better than your partner.

Constantly say how you would be much better off with someone else.

It will work like a charm on a person who loves their self-respect over any other thing in life.

But at the same time, this coming from you will hurt them way more than all of the methods listed above.

A blow to one’s self-esteem is a tough pill to swallow. They will find it easier to break up with you than to be at crossroads with their self-respect.

However, don’t get violent or abusive as it can attract legal complications.

How To Make Someone Break Up With You Without Hurting Them?

To make someone break up with you without hurting them, shift the blame onto yourself. Make deliberate mistakes to create chaos, but don’t blame your partner at the time of confrontation. Say sorry if you have to but repeat those same mistakes till need be. This will push your partner towards dumping you.

When your partner is the one who quits the relationship, they’ll have enough closure to find peace and would feel much less hurt.

Here are a few more helpful pointers.

1. Make Them Feel You Are Not The One

If you can somehow make your partner realize that you both are not meant to be together, and you are not the one for them, they will break up with you.

Sooner or later, it will dawn upon them that it is absolutely stupid to latch onto this relationship. Dragging it will only be prolonging your misery.

2. Pretend To Be Jealous And Insecure

Jealousy and insecurity play a huge role in breaking relationships.

If you pretend to be overly jealous and insecure, it will force your partner to leave you for good.

Interrogate them all the time about every little thing and restrict them from casually meeting other people.

Demand to see their phone time and again. Deliberately get caught snooping around behind their back or checking their phone.

Question their intentions about their friends or colleagues.

3. Stop Supporting Their Dreams

In this difficult and competitive world, we want our partner to be supportive and encouraging. They are our safe haven.

But you must turn it into a suffocating confinement for your partner.

Don’t demoralize or demotivate them but become extremely pessimistic and melancholy.

Behave like a person who has no hope left either from themselves or others.

Talk like you feel you’re are good for nothing, and with you even they won’t be able to do anything in life. Tell them that they’d be better off with someone else.

Going through these depressing bouts every day will suffocate your partner, and they will find it’s much better to just let you go.

4. Set Them Up With Someone

See if you have trustworthy friends who’ll help you set your partner up with someone who’s just looking for a casual hook up or maybe something more.

You don’t need to be in the picture as your friends will lay the trap. Divert your partner’s attention away from you and the sadness of their life with you.

Your partner will cave in sooner or later even if they claim to love you. Nobody can stick with a lost cause for long.

Either they will tell you that it’s over or give in to their temptation and cheat on you. In either case, the relationship will end.

Set Them Up With Someone

5. Become Extremely Demanding

We like to fulfill our partner’s wishes, but what if the list is never-ending and digging a hole in your pocket.

No one would keep up with such a person for a long time. Try being more demanding. And you need not limit yourself only to gifts.

Extend your demands to their time too. When they leave for work, ask them not to go and spend the day with you instead.

Become sad and refuse to talk to them for 2-3 days when they don’t comply. Of course, they wouldn’t always be able to take an off at the last minute.

Not talking for a few days every 2-3 weeks would create a lot of distance between you.

6. Create Distance

When a couple gets into a long-distance relationship, there is always more risk of the feelings diminishing substantially with time.

If you can create that physical distance between you two, your partner might not be inclined to stay with you.

You can turn it into a breakup with mutual understanding.

Creating that physical distance can be in the form of going to a different college, choosing a different job, or moving to a different city.

If you are in a live-in relationship, you might want to consider moving out with a solid excuse.

7. Be Excessively Clingy and Needy

We all love our freedom and shouldn’t compromise with it, even for our partners. Start being excessively clingy and needy.

Never give them their own space or a moment to breathe. Ever seen a toddler begging for attention?

Seek their attention and approval all the time and behave like a cry baby. Start doubting their intentions and ask whether they even love you anymore.

Show that you are very insecure about your relationship. Do this enough, and the person will start seeing you as a low-value person.

And nobody wants to be with a low-value person.

8. Pretend To Be A Mess

Pretend to be a mess in front of your partner. Stop taking care of yourself. Dress badly or don’t wash your hair for days.

Take your personal hygiene for a hike. When they ask you what’s wrong, say something like it’s just one of those phases.

Do everything that is a known attraction killer. Try this only if you can act it out well, as you don’t want to be an actual mess.

After the breakup, you’ll have to get back to your usual self, and thus you should be able to alienate quickly.

Pretend To Be A Mess

9. Pretend Becoming An Alcoholic

Being in a relationship with an alcoholic can exhaust you to no end. However, for this tip, you only need to act as if you’re turning into an alcoholic.

Start showing common signs of alcohol abuse. For authenticity, sprinkle some alcohol on yourself and act drunk in front of your partner.

You can even gargle with alcohol for the bad breath. However, you need to be really convincing. Make them believe that you are turning into an addict.

Your partner might try to help you initially. Show no signs of accepting help or wanting to change your ways.

Your partner will gradually stray away from you as the relationship will start feeling like a burden to them.

10. Start Being A Control Freak

Another way to suffocate someone’s freedom and make them hate you is being a total control freak. Restrict their life.

Don’t let them do anything without asking you, and if they do, get mad.

Don’t say anything rude to your partner because you don’t want to hurt them more than absolutely necessary.

Just not talking to them for a few days is enough. This is like taking the tip about being needy and insecure to a whole new level.

Your partner might try to conform to your idea of a relationship just to please you and keep you happy.

If that happens, tighten your grip like a python every time they fulfill your unjustified demands.

Become more and more controlling with every iteration.

11. Act Silly

When you are out to meet your partner’s family or friends, crack cheesy jokes and say controversial things.

It could be opposing political opinions or something outright wrong. Try too hard to be accepted and loved by the group.

When we try too hard, our chances of messing up increase significantly. Make your partner feel embarrassed in front of the people they know.

12. Scare Your Partner Away

Show personality disorders. Spook up things a bit through your behavior and have bouts of extremely strange behavior.

Be seen by your partner as you mumble something to yourself.

Hold your head and fixate your gaze on something in the room when your partner is around. Act as strange as you can.

When your partner tries to jolt you, pretend to come back to your senses.

Then feign innocence and behave as if you don’t remember behaving strangely and you were just sitting.

Scare Your Partner Away


Try not to hurt your partner’s feelings if you can. Maybe you don’t love them anymore, but they might still love you.

Respect whatever you had in the past and try to end it peacefully through communication.

Now tell us how you will end things with your partner?

Will you stop being intimate or create a physical distance? Either way, let us know in the comments.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

Recent Posts