This is the ultimate guide on how to text a guy you like. And let me make one thing very clear:
This is NOT a post to spoon-feed you the exact texts you can copy and paste.
Yes, I’ll sprinkle a few sample texts here and there. But more importantly, this guide is about developing the right mindset and having a solid strategy.
If you’re willing to take your texting game to the next level, you’ll love this guide.
A Quick Overview Of Your Guide To Texting A Guy
Chapter 1: Conversation Starters To Get An Edge
Chapter 2: Keep It Short To Keep Him Interested
Chapter 3: Tricks To Not Look Needy And Desperate
Chapter 4: Get More Replies By Mastering Emojis
Chapter 5: How To Flirt And Build Sizzling Chemistry?
Chapter 6: Converting Your First Date To Many More
Chapter 7: Texting Him After A One Night Stand
Chapter 8: Using Dirty Texts For Maximum Success
Chapter 9: Texting A Guy Who’s Ghosting You
Chapter 10: Advanced Tips To Improve Your Texting Game
Chapter 1: Conversation Starters To Get An Edge
An average guy receives 10-20 texts a day. Some get a lot more attention. And this figure does not include those countless emails and notifications.
While 10 texts a day may not seem much, they are enough to take his focus away from you. Piquing his interest right from the first text is your best bet.
Why? Because first impressions matter even if someone claims otherwise.
In this chapter, we will cover the best strategies for starting a text conversation.
1.1 Text Him First
The internet is full of stories where playing hard to get went downhill pretty quickly.
There is a difference between ‘playing’ hard to get and NOT being easy. A high-value woman doesn’t play but IS actually hard to get.
Taking your time with a guy once you get to know him is wise. But doing it right off the bat backfires.
Here’s the deal:
Every other girl is playing hard to get by not texting him first or acting aloof.
Now ask any guy, which girls does he remember the most?
Spoiler alert:
The ones who initiated! Whether it was the first text, the first call, or asking him out first. Initiating took him by surprise.
RebootLoveLife.com did an extensive study on more than 1500 people across the world and here are the results:
Gender stereotypes and popular culture suggest, a girl should let the guy do all the chasing.
To make things worse, people back it up with ridiculous reasons like “a guy might think less of you if you initiate.”
No! Not every guy thinks like that. And the shy ones might never text you first.
I loved the girls who initiated. If anything, I saw them as bold and confident. My friends have similar experiences.
Which brings me to the point, if he does think less of you, why would you want to be with him at all?
Why would he remember you distinctly if you behave like every other girl he knows? Texting first will immediately separate you from 95% of girls.
1.2. Your ‘Hi’ Feels Alone
Guess what 95% of girls are also doing? Sending him a ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ if they ever initiate. Nothing else, that’s it.
Quick question:
Do you want to land in his friend zone, or do you want him to zone in on you?
Your solitary ‘hi’ is like the isolated pawn on the chessboard who’s trying to defend his king. Yeah, that level of aloneness.
Being lazy with your first text is a crime. Imagine the wasted opportunity and what all you could say.
You have only a limited number of texts to make a solid first impression. Your solitary ‘hi’ just reduced your odds of success.
Here is the best part:
You do not need to overthink your first text.
Add his name next to your ‘hey’ once in a while. Then, throw in a quick question or comment about his profile pic or bio.
For example:
“Hi, Nathan. That’s a fun hairstyle. Looks beautiful. What is it called?”
Or
“Hi. Black is definitely your color. Why don’t I see you wearing it more often?”
You can also ask him his opinion on something both of you are interested in. It can be related to any latest development.
“UGH! Why do my favorite characters end up getting killed?”
[Referring to a T.V. show you both watch]
Or
“What a bummer! Could they have played any slower tonight?”
[When you love the same sports team and they lose]
Do these texts convey your interest in him? No.
Do they open up the field for more texts and are better than a bland ‘hi’? Definitely, yes!
1.3 Notch It Up With Humor
Humor always stands out. If you can make him laugh, he is much more likely to open up. Take your ‘hi’, pair it with humor and deliver it using a question.
With that being said, do not overthink your response or try to be funny.
Remember the golden rule:
If it comes to your mind almost instantly, it’s better than a canned and refined joke.
If you cannot find something funny to say 9 out of 10 times, don’t let it bother you. It’s absolutely okay.
You can always improve your sense of humor. (More on this later)
For example:
“Ooh! Joey is hotter than my laptop’s bottom. How you doin’?”
[For die-hard Friends fans]
Or
“Chameleons blend well, but why did this one ruin my smoothie? Ew!”
[Insert a blurry picture for special effect]
Chapter 2: Keep It Short To Keep Him Interested
Here’s a fact:
Nobody wants to read a book while texting.
Do your texts feel like one? Does the language feel like a research paper? Remember the acronym, K.I.S.S. Keep It Stupid Simple.
If talking to you feels like a chore to him, he will not bother at all. Texting him isn’t your ultimate goal. Getting him interested in you is.
Here’s how to keep your texts short and interesting:
2.1 Avoid Chunky Texts
Would you rather read a text like this?
Or a text like this?
Keep your responses limited to 1-2 lines.
If you don’t like sending multiple texts, tidy up your replies by using paragraphs. Again, 1-2 lines in each paragraph are enough.
Do not use more than three paragraphs in a single reply.
2.2 Don’t Drag The Conversation For Days
If there was ONE piece of advice I’d tattoo to your forehead, it would be: “My end goal isn’t texting.”
Girls find themselves caught up in a cycle of endless text conversations.
Why?
Most of it can be attributed to the ‘play hard to get’ nonsense. What if the guy does that too? Plays hard to get…
Result:
2-4 texts a day, and the conversation feels dragged.
It will gradually kill any interest he has in you. Certainly against what you wanted, right, i.e. piquing his interest.
Focus on moving from texts to calls. If you alone are sending him 50 texts a day, you are doing something wrong.
An exchange of 25-35 texts a day is more than enough and should include his replies as well. Continue the conversation the next day or call him up.
You could always say something along the lines of how this conversation was getting too long for your taste.
Your calling to texting ratio should be 70% to 30%, respectively. For most girls, it is way off at 10% to 90%.
Talking on calls will give you a chance to bond more closely, ultimately leading to more dates and one on one time.
2.3 No Vague Or One-Word Answers
“K”, “ok”, “cool” are not saving you any time. Nothing worthwhile, at least. If anything, they are conveying that you aren’t interested in him.
A quick tip to keep the conversation flowing naturally is to use questions. Questions are a great way to open up communication bottlenecks.
But when I say questions, it doesn’t mean any question. Use questions that cannot usually be answered in a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’.
Ask questions that need descriptive answers.
For example:
Instead of asking,
“How are you feeling?”
Try asking,
“If there was one dialogue that could exactly describe your feelings, what would it be?”
2.4 Memes And Jokes, Use Em’ Folks!
Who said your texts need to be limited to words and letters? Heck, everyone loves a good meme or joke.
What’s better than a generic joke? An inside joke! Relive some memories.
The best part?
You don’t even need to come up with something original. Using the right meme or joke at the right time is all you have to do.
Don’t overuse them, though. You don’t want your chats to look like a cheap art gallery or a joke book.
Use them sparingly when you are sure it would be awesome!
Quick tip:
Include gif memes in your arsenal. They bring a new level of fun to texting.
Chapter 3: Tricks To Not Look Needy And Desperate
Neediness is the number 1 attraction killer.
He is looking for a decent girl to hang out with. Do you really think he has time for an emotional tag-along?
By acting desperate and needy, you’ll only lower your value in his eyes. How will he feel any attraction for you if he doesn’t see you as a special girl?
Let’s see how you can convey that you’re a high-value woman without saying a word.
3.1 Don’t Be Available 24×7
Do you live under the fear of missing his texts?
And this fear keeps you glued to your phone? Do you reply to his texts almost instantaneously?
If the answer to any of these is ‘Yes’……congrats, you have been telling him that you have no life.
Being available 24×7 says that his texts are the highlight of your day.
Remember the internet advice about playing hard to get? This is where it actually works. But should you be doing it deliberately? No.
A guy should be a part of your life. Do not make him the center of it.
Stop procrastinating and complete your tasks. It could be your office work, studies, or chores.
Have some time left? How about you devote it to your body and explore some new activities. It is never too late to learn a new language or start a new business.
When should you text him then? In between your hectic day when you find some time to breathe.
The same goes for calling. That way, you’ll genuinely be hard to get! This will also eliminate the need for mind games like replying late on purpose.
3.2 Let Him Reply First
You know what else screams of low self-worth? Begging him to reply.
Now you don’t need to beg literally. If he is ignoring your texts and still you send another one, it says a lot. Make it a habit to let him reply to your previous text first.
Unless it is a time-sensitive situation or a date you want to plan where you need him to confirm, practice restraint.
No, it is not possible that he missed your text twice in a row.
He didn’t reply because either he didn’t want to or didn’t find your text interesting enough for a response.
If he finds you interesting enough, he will look forward to texting you as soon as he gets free, even if he missed your text.
3.3 Match His Texting Behavior
Remember how we asked you to initiate? Well, here’s a little advice to the contrary. Don’t always be the one who texts first.
Mix it up. Why? It will give you a strong signal about his intentions and leave no room for guesswork.
If you are the only one who’s always texting first, need I say more? He is not into you.
Now:
You also don’t want to text more than he does. Find a balance. If he sent a 1 line response to your 2 line text, no issues.
But if he has been sending one-word answers to your last 7-8 texts, you clearly need to stop. People find it annoying if someone texts them more than they do.
Also, if he doesn’t respond to your texts regularly or usually takes too long, don’t bother calling him out for it. It reeks of desperation.
The next time he texts you, take your own sweet time!
Not because you want petty revenge, but because you want to evaluate whether or not you want to talk to this guy at all.
Chapter 4: Get More Replies By Mastering Emojis
Why are emojis important?
Emojis are a fun way to communicate more with less. They make otherwise plain-looking conversations visually interesting.
And when combined with the tactics we learnt to keep our texts interesting, emojis can almost compel a guy to reply.
You must be using emojis but are you using them the right way? In this chapter, we’ll dive deep into the use of emojis.
4.1 Less Is Always More
Most people go crazy on emojis and see them as a replacement for their texts.
Guys absolutely hate it when they see a girl using strings of emojis in every text with a few words sprinkled here and there.
There is a thing called too many emojis.
Here’s the deal:
Don’t use more than one or two emojis every three to four texts if you use them next to a sentence.
You can use a string of emojis to emphasize a point or an emotion. But those emojis should clearly stand out from the body of your text.
Want to master emojis? Make your emojis supplement your text.
For example:
Looks better than
Words will always carry more weight. Let them work their magic without an emoji most of the time.
Also, only using an emoji can convey that you have nothing else to add. It can lead to a dead-end during conversations.
4.2 Check The Meaning Of Your Emojis
Almost everyone uses emojis, but not everyone uses the right ones every time. Using the wrong emojis can cause you a ton of embarrassment.
Even if the guy finds it dorky and cute, you’ll never be able to look him in the eyes.
I cannot even express the amount of miscommunication that occurs just because someone doesn’t know the meaning behind their emoji.
Here are some of the most misunderstood emojis and their meanings:
You do not want to send a guy 🍆 just because you love eggplants when he asks what you want to have on the next date.
4.3 Stand Out With Emoticons And Bitmojis
Every other girl is using emojis while texting. But many don’t know about emoticons and bitmojis.
What is an emoticon? Emoticons are pictorial icons you can use to convey your emotions.
They are created using punctuation marks, letters, numbers, and other characters on your keyboard.
They stand for emotional icons. The Latin emoticons are usually read sideways, while the Eastern ones are read upright.
Here are a few emoticons:
What is a bitmoji?
Bitmojis are little cartoon avatars that depict a whole scene, unlike the emoji, which is a tiny picture usually representing a single entity or emotion.
Emojis are enabled on most modern phone keyboards by default. To use Bitmojis, you have to download the Bitmoji app and allow access to your keyboard.
The good part is that you can use bitmojis in any app.
Here are what Bitmojis look like:
Using emoticons, stickers, and bitmojis can immediately make your texts stand out and make them more appealing.
Again, do not use them as a replacement for your words.
Chapter 5: How To Flirt And Build Sizzling Chemistry?
Flirting ensures that things stay steamy. It introduces an element of mystery and arousal.
You could either keep talking and beat around the bush or escalate things by flirting and building some sizzling chemistry.
Here’s how to keep him on his toes and amp up the chemistry with flirting.
5.1 Flirting Is Teasing
Dump everything you have learnt about flirting till now.
You want to flirt with him? Tease him. Dial-up the banter meter and engage in some witty give and take.
He’ll love you because of the challenges you throw at him. Any decent man loves an intelligent girl. How to improve your sense of humor? We’ll cover this later.
Most girls flirt through text using the same copy-paste canned material. That kind of flirting is so 90s.
You know what? Treat him like your bratty little brother or sister. Remember how you couldn’t care less if your bratty little brother or sister throws a tantrum?
That nonchalance oozes confidence and shows him that you are one strong-headed woman.
When he says something nice, would you rather flirt like this:
“Just wanted to say I’m glad we are talking.”
Or
This
“Oh boy! Don’t send me signals. I’d rather have a few memes.”
But remember:
When I ask you to banter and tease, I am not asking you to be rude or cross a line.
Some things are never okay to joke about. Everyone has a different threshold, but some things are plain mean.
Start lightly and gradually work your way up with teasing. The moment you realize that the guy is getting uncomfortable, stop it.
Don’t be a jerk.
5.2 Text Him During After Hours
Nothing screams that he is more than a friend to you if you talk to him beyond what could be called appropriate hours.
Now:
This rule only applies if you have done it a few times over a couple of weeks. Else, we all talk to a friend or two late at night once in a blue moon.
But if we do it often with someone, it immediately conveys that person has a special place in our life.
The definition of after-hours or socially ‘appropriate’ time isn’t rigid. It could be 12 am for me, 1 am for you, and 10 pm for the guy you like.
Have a rough idea about at what time he sleeps and send a text around an hour earlier. Ping him with something fun like:
“What’s one superpower you’d like to wake up with tomorrow?”
The text doesn’t need to be conventionally flirtatious or racy. As long as it gets the conversation going at night, you’re good. You could always steer it wherever you want.
Why is texting at night important?
At night a person is more relaxed and willing to open up. The soothing silence can make them do what they otherwise don’t try in the light of the day.
We all feel a bit daring at night, right? There is something in the dark that makes our desires crop up.
If it’s too early and you barely know the guy, refrain from dirty texts even if he initiates. (More on dirty texts later)
If you can’t think of anything else, you could always send him two selfies in different dresses and ask,
“Help me out here. Which one looks better for an upcoming party?”
Caution:
Randomize your text timings, and don’t be predictable. If you only text during the day, he will not get the right message.
If you only text at night, he might see you as a booty call. Use texting at night just like your emojis. Sparingly. Preferably once every three to four days.
5.3 Don’t Overthink Your Texts
If you want to have any chance at building some chemistry, leave your love for perfection out of your texts.
Overthought texts are boring and kill the momentum.
I am not going to lie to you…
I hate it when a girl talks differently over text and seems like a completely new person when I chat her up on a call or a date.
Overthought texts expose you. And the worst part is that they never allow him to see the real you.
Texting is supposed to be light and fun.
Spontaneity is the essence of chemistry. It’s what you feel without the need for fluff words.
Overthinking your texts is like trying to kill two stones with one bird. The idiom is the other way round.
I’d rather have this
Over this
Send whatever you can think of in the first 5-10 seconds of seeing his text.
What do most girls do? Open the text or see it through a notification, think for a few hours, and try to come up with a perfect reply.
This is exactly how you should NOT text.
Chapter 6: Converting Your First Date To Many More
After the first date, the whole purpose of texting is to let the guy know that you are up for more.
Or if you don’t want to hang out anymore, just say so.
The clearer you are about what you want, the clearer he will be. Keeping things transparent is the sign of a healthy mind.
It will save you both a ton of time. Texts after the first date are also effective in gauging what’s going on in his mind. See them as feeler texts.
Here is what you need to know about texting after the first date.
6.1 Violate The 3-Day Rule
Some people swear by the 3-day rule for texting after the first date.
What is the 3-day rule for texting?
The 3-day rule for texting refers to waiting till day three after the first date to send the next text.
Many believe contacting your date before three days makes you look eager and desperate. You could also call after three days.
Going by the rule book, texting after two days seems manipulative, but day three is the sweet spot. Do you realize the irony and the absurdity of the above rule?
Is there any proof that it works?
Honestly, it’s a hit or a miss. Nothing guaranteed. Does breaking it make you look eager and desperate? Only to a guy who isn’t into you…yet.
So, why should you violate the 3-day rule? Because for the guy, it will be unexpected. It is loaded with the element of surprise. Let me explain.
Send your guy a text between 24-48 hours after your first date. It could be something like
“My friend made me swear to follow the 3-day rule like the bible. But here I am, being the devil. What’s up with you?”
This is a killer text. It shows that you know about the 3-day rule, and yet you do not follow the conventional advice.
This is totally different from not knowing the rule at all. If he isn’t familiar with the 3-day rule and asks about it, tell him. It only leads to more talking.
6.2 Practice The Delayed 3-Day Rule If You Can
Some rules are meant to be broken, twisted, and played around with.
After your first contact within the 3-day period, go off the radar completely for 2-3 days. No first texts, no calls, nothing. Absolutely no contact.
You cannot initiate the conversation. If he texts or calls, keep the conversation as short as possible. 3-5 texts and 5 minutes of calls a day at max.
He will not be expecting this at all, and surprise will hit him like a freight train.
This is where the noob’s advice of ‘playing hard to get’ becomes supremely effective. It thrives on surprise. A perfect time to play hard to get.
Not only does it make you completely unpredictable, but it also makes you look mysterious.
He will be left wondering what’s going on in your mind and what next? Guys love a mysterious girl.
When you do get in touch with him again, you could always give your reasons.
Make sure they are valid, though. It shouldn’t look like you only did this to make him wait.
Refer to what we talked about in chapter 3 on not being available 24×7. It’s always better to BE busy than to pretend.
6.3 Learn From Diamonds
Do you know why diamonds are valuable? Because they are not lying at your doorstep every morning.
Even the raw ones, you find them deep below the earth’s surface and need to be mined.
It takes an insane amount of effort to make a well-cut and finely polished diamond. Learn from the diamonds.
What if he wants to set up another date the very next day after the first one?
Politely turn him down. Tell him that why aren’t you available till the next week and have a ton of things to do in between (which, by the way, you should).
Ensure that he gets the message loud and clear that it is not HIM that you are turning down. You just aren’t available till next week.
In fact, for the first 4-5 dates, don’t hang out more than once a week for a couple of hours.
Chat him up through texts and calls and use this time to get to know him more.
Kissing is fine, but, needless to say, anything else is off the table until 4-5 dates. Just kills the mystery.
Girl, you are a reward. Treat yourself like a diamond.
Chapter 7: Texting Him After A One Night Stand
If you’ve learnt anything by now, it should be no surprise when I say that one-night stands kill all mystery pretty quickly.
It is challenging to make him desire you once the barrier of physical intimacy is broken.
Or if he does desire you, it may be only because he wants some fun. Things turn sour pretty quickly if he doesn’t feel like meeting again.
In this chapter, we’ll cover both scenarios, i.e., a purely physical relationship and dating him. Let’s get started…
7.1 Be Direct
Just because it’s called a one-night stand, it doesn’t mean it’s supposed to end after one night.
You want some more hook-ups? Just ask. Don’t be ashamed or feel guilty.
Duh, you slept with him! What’s there to be shy about? Send him a feeler text like:
“Last night was the textbook definition of hot. I want more.”
Or
“Up for round 2 of the hunger games?”
If he’s up for it, he’ll be direct about it and say yes. If he seems vague, no point in hanging on to him.
Don’t try to go all Sherlock about why he doesn’t want to do it again?
Maybe he didn’t enjoy it as much as you think, or maybe his girlfriend was out of town for a few days. Who knows?
Don’t beat yourself down over rejection, and don’t take it personally.
7.2 Reverse Your Roles
One of you must have initiated and tried to escalate things the first time. One person was leading while the other one followed.
It’s time to switch seats. If you got all hot and heavy on him, let him take the lead this time. Hold back and don’t text him.
If he was the one who put the foot on the accelerator, put him on the backseat.
Of course, he wouldn’t know it beforehand if you expect him to take the lead. And if he doesn’t hear back from you, he might get the idea you aren’t up for more.
What do you do? Be direct and text him after 2-3 days if he doesn’t. It will set things in motion.
7.3 Start From The Scratch
If he wants to get physical again soon, and you want it too? By all means, go. If some quick action is all that you seek, fair enough.
But if you want something more out of this guy, like a relationship or at least a few dates, stop yourself right here.
Who says that if you slept with him once, you are supposed to do it again? Why not start with a blank slate?
Give yourself the chance to know him more. Give him the space to reflect and see you in a different light.
Plus, it includes the element of unpredictability and surprise. He won’t be expecting it if you apply whatever you’ve read until now.
If he is disappointed that you turned down his request for another night, tell him that you’d like to go on a date with him instead.
On the date night, if he tries to take things further, you can tell him that you’d like to go on a few more dates and want something more out of what’s happening.
If he gets mad about not having his way with you, it’s clear that you both want different things.
Don’t be afraid to express yourself.
Chapter 8: Using Dirty Texts For Maximum Success
Dirty texts can make or break what you are trying to achieve. Not using them at the right time can send all the wrong signals.
Do it too soon, and you might freak him out. If you never use them or do it too late, all the tension and chemistry fizzles out.
In this chapter, I’ll show you the EASIEST way to make dirty texts work for you.
8.1 Test The Waters First
If you never do it, you’ll never know what it feels like. But how to know how much he is willing to take?
There is a difference between
“You are on my to-do list for tonight.”
And
“In pink, red, or nothing. How do you want me?”
And
“Eat out or eat me out?”
You don’t want to start from level 3 if you have not cleared level 1.
Tame your dirty texts initially till you are absolutely sure that he wants to get as filthy as you.
8.2 Moderation Is The Key
It’s great that you can send him whatever dirty text you like and whenever you want it.
We handled the ‘whatever’ part in the last section. Here we deal with the ‘whenever’ part.
If dirty texts are all he’ll be getting from you from now onwards, trust me, it’ll get pretty boring.
Overusing dirty texts just makes them look crude and distasteful.
You can spice up a dish. Does it mean you put all the spices you have and all at once? Why would he come back for more?
Moving on to a stage where you can send him dirty texts doesn’t mean you cannot send him flirty and romantic texts.
Keep your texts casual and hit him with a saucy one every few days. Dirty texting for only 1-2 days a week is a good approach to keeping your texts balanced.
8.3 Don’t Limit Them To Nights
Imagine this:
He is having a boring workday, and his screen lights up. It’s a text from you saying:
“This shower is making me wet. And no, it’s not the water.”
Bam! You’ll send his pulse rate way up. The night seems pretty awesome for sending dirty texts because we can let ourselves loose.
But daytime is the least expected time to get a dirty text. It keeps things exciting and saves texting from feeling like a routine.
You might want to make sure that he is not casting his phone on a screen during a presentation and a roomful of people see
“This new toy you got me is aah-umm-azing…”
See if you can get to know about his schedule beforehand.
8.4 Use Slangs And Emojis
Don’t be a nice girl when it comes to getting dirty. Slangs are insanely hot. Step out of your comfort zone.
There is a fine line between being dirty and being crude, but it’s okay to cross it once in a while.
Something like:
“I am in the mood for some MEAT only diet tonight ;-)”
Or
“Ready for eating MELONS tonight?”
Are far better than how you would write them otherwise.
Top your texts up with emojis like 🍑 or 🍈🍈 to drive your point home. How about having a codeword only the two of you understand?
8.5 The Truth About Nudes
When it comes to dirty texting, don’t send him your naked pictures or videos. There are horrible cases of sexting gone wrong.
Nothing is safe. It’s only a matter of time before someone bypasses the security.
A pic of you in hot lingerie getting leaked is one thing, but your shower video all over the internet can really mess you up.
Don’t let him convince you otherwise, even if he seems like the nicest guy on earth. Ever heard the old saying, better safe than sorry?
Let some things be best left to the imagination.
Not indulging in exchanging nudes will ultimately intensify the pleasure when you finally get to see each other naked in real life.
Chapter 9: Texting A Guy Who’s Ghosting You
91% people have been ghosted at some point in their life. 63% said they had ghosted someone.
What do these numbers tell you? It’s not uncommon to ghost someone or be at the receiving end.
In this chapter, we will wrap our heads around ghosting behavior and curate our texts for a ghost.
9.1 Why Did He Ghost You?
Let’s face it, being ghosted sucks! If someone ghosted me, I’d feel stupid and angry just like you. Why?
Because rejection hurts. It throws us into the rabbit hole of self-doubt. We feel entitled to deserving closure.
But here’s the harsh truth:
Nobody cares what you think. A person will only give you closure if it suits their interest.
85% of people say that rejection hurts, but they’d rather know the reason than being ghosted. It means that a hell lot of people never got any closure.
Interestingly:
When the ghosters were asked, “Why do you ghost someone?”
40% said that they have no idea about how to explain why they cannot see a person again.
33% said that they feel pretty uncomfortable if they have to reject someone.
While the remaining believed that disappearing altogether is way better than having to reject someone outright.
Seeing a pattern here? Yes, he didn’t feel like the two of you clicked, but the core reason is entirely different.
He ghosted you because he didn’t have the courage to face you again. If I may quote at the risk of sounding cliché, “It’s not you, it’s him!”
9.2 Keeping Your Head High
Keeping your dignity intact is way better than getting what you want after begging. In chapter 3, we talked about not being needy and desperate.
The internet is full of cute texts like
“Can I buy you a new charger? Your phone seems to be dead.”
Or
“Dinner last week was fun. Maybe you’re growing some vegetables for the next one. Take your time.”
I get it. These texts are witty, sarcastic, and try to invoke guilt in him. But there’s an underlying message we are missing. They reek of desperation.
These texts scream of two things. One, you are pissed off because he rejected you. Two, he has the edge over you.
By walking into the trap, you’re just feeding his ego. He’ll be feeling good about himself and getting a girl to chase him while you pull your hair out.
If I could control you with a remote, I’ll press the button, which ensures that you never text a ghoster at all.
Have a life. Let bygones be bygones. Forgive. March forward!
9.3 If You Must Text
The heart wants what it wants. I agree that it’s not wise and pretend to be okay when you’re not. What should you do? Address the elephant in the room.
Despite all the logical explanations, if you cannot keep your hands off from texting a ghoster, here’s how not to prolong your misery.
Send him a polite and non-pushy text. It’s easy to be rude and sarcastic here, but it will only lead you down a rabbit hole.
Something along the lines of
“I enjoyed our time together, but this on and off thing isn’t for me. I’d love it if you could be direct.”
Or
“Ghosting isn’t polite. I wish you were direct. Anyway, it was fun to know you.”
are perfect.
The above texts leave no room for doubt. He’ll either respond positively or negatively or ignore you again. Either way, you’ll have your answer.
9.4 If He Resurrects From His Grave
What if a guy suddenly reappears in your inbox after a long unexplained absence? Whatever reason he gives you, don’t be naïve to fall for it.
Had he been genuinely interested in you, he would have conveyed the same long ago and explained his absence.
I asked you to forgive in the previous section. Forgive, but don’t forget. Who knows because of what vested interest he is contacting you again?
Ignore his texts completely. No response is the perfect response. This guy is not worth your time and emotions.
Chapter 10: Advanced Tips To Improve Your Texting Game
In this last chapter of this guide, I have put in some nuggets to make you better at texting.
They aren’t supposed to make you the best texter out there. But they will make you a bit better than where you stand right now.
Again, implementing these tactics separates you from a ton of other women with horrible texting habits.
10.1 Read A Lot
What’s the number one tip given to all writers? Read as much as you can. Reading opens up your mind and fills you up with a ton of ideas.
Your texts will become a lot sharper. You filter out the fluff and convey more with less.
What else? Reading gives you new interest areas to talk about. Your texts will never get dull, and you won’t be running out of topics.
Make reading a daily habit. News, books, comics, pamphlets, or whatever you fancy, lap up information like a thirsty dog.
10.2 Correct Your Mistakes
The road everyone takes when they make a mistake while texting is to let it be.
They are sure that the receiver will get the crux of the message even if they notice the blatant error.
While this may be true, lazy behavior only degrades their texting over time.
Now, nobody expects you to be a linguistic purist, but frequent misspellings and grammatical errors never convey the right message about you.
Improving your writing isn’t something that you can do overnight. However, there is something you can do today.
Make it a point to send a text with a * (asterisk or star) sign whenever you spot an error in your previous texts. The correction should accompany the * sign.
For example
“I recieved your call. Anything urgent?”
“ *received ”
Correcting your mistakes says a lot about who you are as a person. Plus, it saves you from future illiterate expressions.
We learn by correcting our mistakes. Nobody learnt anything by never correcting their errors.
10.3 Work On Your Sense Of Humor
What’s the best way to escalate his mood and jump-start a conversation every single time?
Crack him up. Intelligence is always attractive. No guy ever said, “I don’t like it when my girl makes me laugh.”
You don’t have to be the next Nikki Glaser or Yvonne Orji. You just have to be ‘not boring.’
How to do it? Start watching stand-up comedians. They include a ton of references to popular culture and are often loaded with burning political satire.
See what the wittiest celebs are posting online. Read one-liners in your free time.
It takes some work, but you’ll soon be seeing results. Results that will last you a lifetime.
Tease him, engage in flirtatious banter, and pose a challenge. Beat him in the race to wits!
Conclusion
So that’s my ultimate guide on texting a guy you like. Now I want to turn it over to you:
What tip from this guide do you want to try out first?
Are you going to focus on keeping your texts short? Or maybe you want to flirt in a new way?
Either way, let me know by leaving a comment below.