I Just Want Someone To Love Me | Accept Yourself & Find Love

The lack of that special someone in life leaves people frustrated. It is okay to want someone to love you and normal to feel low if you don’t have anyone.

If you want someone to love you, you need to see yourself as a high-value person first. If you pity yourself, you’ll subconsciously convey to others that you are needy and desperate for love. Don’t expect others to love you if you do not love yourself. You’ll find love when you stop looking for it.

Emotional neediness is unattractive. Not loving yourself is like closing all the gates that can bring you love.

Before We Begin

We understand that a feeling of emptiness arises when there is no one with whom you can share your feelings.

You want to feel special and want someone who can support you emotionally.

Still, craving someone’s love puts you in a needy position, which is not good for you.

Try deserving somebody’s attention and affection instead of begging for it. You should know your worth and start valuing yourself.

You get so indulged in self-loathing that you overlook all the great qualities you possess.

Try improving upon your imperfections and appreciate your qualities.

TABLE: People On One Characteristic Of A Person That Is A Deal-Breaker For Them

Unattractive QualityPercentage
Treating others badly26%
Being too proud of oneself23%
Acting needy to win affection19%
Trying too hard18%
Showing yourself as what you aren’t11%
Source: Based on a survey by RebootLoveLife.com with 167 participants in the age range of 18-45 years.

Having a personality that begs love only drives people further away. Always be your own support system.

Become an attractive personality, and you will win hearts with your charm. Nobody will love you unless you learn to love yourself.

Be the star of your story.

How Can I Find Someone To Love Me? 

To find someone to love you, step out of your comfort zone. Nobody found love on their couch. Work on becoming an attractive person first. Not just physically attractive, but also have an interesting personality to complement it. Getting busy would take your mind off from actively looking or begging for love.

Self-love is essential for our life. If you don’t love yourself, you won’t be open to someone loving you and ultimately push them away.

Loving yourself makes you a happy and optimistic person. It helps you become confident and understand your worth.

You tend to live a more positive life if you love yourself. When there is self-love, it becomes easier to love others.

Woman hugging herself

1. Accept & Forgive Yourself

The first thing you should do is stop cursing yourself. We human beings are not perfect, and we all make mistakes.

Don’t hold a grudge against yourself for any errors you might have made in life. Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself.

It is essential to move forward in life and live peacefully.

2. Stop Comparing Your Life With Others

We can’t fall in love with ourselves until we stop comparing ourselves with others. Comparison fills us with negative energy and self-loathing.

You won’t ever be satisfied with your life if you keep on comparing yourself to others.

You should focus more on your unique qualities and raising your bar instead of beating others down.

Feel happy for them, and appreciate yourself.

3. Do Not Seek Validation From Others

Seeking validations from others means you are not confident and do not trust yourself.

When we go after external validations, we ignore what we like and what our choices are.

We go for what others choose for us and what they want us to be like. So, stop asking for validation and do what you like.

If you end up making a mistake, at least that would be the result of your own choices.

4. Value Yourself & Know Your Worth

Having low self-esteem and victimizing ourselves gives us a high and help us shift blame for our failures.

Also, we do not value ourselves, think that everyone around us is in a much better condition, and we are cursed.

To love yourself, you need to start valuing yourself for who you are. You should know your worth, and only then will others see it.

5. Personal Analysis Is Important

Spend some time alone and sit in a quiet place for some self-reflection. Self-assessment is crucial as it helps you understand your actions.

You get the idea of where your life is going and what changes you want to make.

You can try meditation, talking to yourself, or writing journals to keep track of your life.

Man sitting on a hilltop at sunset and thinking

6. Appreciate Your Own Company

You should learn to appreciate your own company. Spending time alone helps you find out things that you like to do.

It prevents you from becoming needy for someone else’s time, and you don’t feel alone.

Alone time encourages your creative skills. Do things that you like.

It can be anything like exercising, dancing, singing, going on a trip, or reading a book. If you enjoy your own company, you don’t need anyone else.

7. Celebrate Your Accomplishments

Ignoring your accomplishments and always wanting more and more can lead to a stressful life.

You quickly get disappointed when you don’t achieve something you desire. Encourage yourself whenever you are feeling lost.

Give yourself rewards for your hard work. Celebrate all your achievements and life will look happier, comfortable.

8. Protect Yourself From Harmful People

We sometimes accept the bad behavior of others towards us in the name of love.

We let them treat us poorly, compromise, and tolerate madness while hoping for change.

Learn to say no and leave something that hurts you then and there. Know that you deserve better than what you think.

9. Self Care Is Important  

Taking really good care of yourself is the best thing that you can do for yourself. We are talking about both outer and inner care.

We can be physically fit but emotionally unstable. The goal is to have the best of both worlds.

You need to stay fit and healthy and, at the same time, keep your soul happy.

10. Be Grateful For What You Have 

The only thing that can help you live a satisfying and happy life is to be grateful for what you have. Stop chasing things and complaining all the time.

Take a break and relax. Give yourself some special treats from time to time. Take yourself out for a date. Look at the brighter side of your life.

Group of friends enjoying near a campfire

What Does It Mean When You Crave Someone?

When you crave someone, it means that you have an external source of happiness. If you get someone to love you, you’ll be happy. If you don’t, you’ll feel lost and empty. You’ll pity and curse yourself. Happiness never comes from external sources. Be the reason behind your happiness.

If you crave a particular person, it means the following:

1. You Are Attracted To This Person

Attraction makes us crave people and their attention.

Attraction grows stronger if we are in constant touch with the person, and so does the craving.

When you are experiencing a great deal of attraction for someone, it becomes hard not to be around them.

This person interests you and brings out something inexplicable in you.

You want to make the best of every opportunity and spend time with the person you are attracted to.

Your attraction for them drives you toward them, and when they are not around, you crave their company.

2. You Are In Love With This Person

We all know love and how crazy it can make us. You may crave someone out of intense and passionate love.

When you are in love, you can’t get enough of that person and want more. Know that feeling of butterflies in your stomach?

You love someone so much that they don’t leave your mind even for a second.

You dream about the time you’ve spent together with them. Their absence makes you uncomfortable and sad.

You don’t want to leave them, and when they are not with you, you miss their presence.

Also, you crave their love and how they make you feel when you are together.

3. This Person Makes You Happy

We all seek happiness in our life and crave someone who can make us happy, someone with whom we can share an emotional connection.

Possibly this person you desire makes you happy. You like being with them as they give you what you seek.

This person brightens your day, and when you are not with them, you miss all those happy moments and crave more.

You both blend so well that every moment you spend together becomes a memorable one.

There is a bond you share with this person, which makes you crave their presence.

Man helping woman lift weights

4. Craving Out Of Physical Attraction

The urge to be intimate with someone is primitive and well known. Physical attraction is what you feel when aroused. It lights a fire inside you.

There are times when we feel a physical pull towards someone.

Thinking about them ignites a desire within you, and you want nothing else but make love to them.

Also, it is quite possible that you only like this person’s physical appearance, and there is no emotional connection.

You just crave for a moment of passion and nothing else.

However, this type of craving can die after some time, especially when you no longer see that person regularly.

5. To Boost Your Ego 

It is common for people to crave someone because the other person does not want them.

When the other person does not show any interest in us, we take it personally and feel insulted.

It becomes hard to understand why we failed to attract them. And we take it as a challenge and seek to turn the tables.

They become our obsession, and we can’t stop craving them. We feel that winning them over will lift our ego and bring that lost confidence back.

Why Do We Want Someone To Love Us?

We want someone to love us because romantic companionship is hardwired in our DNA due to thousands of years of evolution. Since the primitive ages, humans have learnt to bond with others. The chemical reactions in our brains make us seek solace in the arms of a loved one.

Here are some common reasons behind that never-ending longing for having that special someone in our life.

1. To Become Whole 

Without love, we all are incomplete. Many people believe that there is a soulmate for each one of us.

We seek love to make us whole again and have this yearning to find our soulmate who will make us feel complete and give some meaning to our life.

Hence, we imagine them as someone who will know us inside out and want us for who we are.

We can’t imagine being alone for the rest of our life, so we desire to have someone by our side to feel safe and secure.

We want them to be there for us in our thick and thins.

2. An Escape From Loneliness

Some people suffer from low self-esteem and a lack of confidence, which attributes to the feeling of loneliness.

They find it hard to connect with people outside and isolate themselves from the outer world.

So, to escape this feeling, they wish they had someone to love them.

They need someone who’s there to hear them out and connect with them on a deeper level.

Love helps them boost their confidence and get the validation they need.

They think that if they have someone to love, they will be able to break free from a shell and face the world with confidence.

Woman looking at phone in her bed

3. For Forming An Emotional Connection   

Human beings experience thousands of emotions, and it is essential to get them out from time to time.

Bottling up all our feelings can be bad for our mental health.

We all need someone we can speak freely with, be vulnerable to, and seek support and motivation from when needed.

We desire someone who can openly communicate with us and understands us.

When someone loves us, we find it easy to open up to them as they won’t judge us.

So, we all need that romantic someone with whom we can share our happiness, sorrows, and everything else.

4. Feeling Cared About & Loved 

As we grow in life, we get so busy chasing things that drive us far from our loved ones.

We always need someone by our side who will care about us. In times of weakness and disappointments, we need someone who will give us strength.

When we are feeling lost, we all need someone who can become our light in the darkness.

When we feel unwelcomed, unloved in the world, we hope that someone will love us and make us feel wanted again.

When we are in love, we feel happy from within, and the world seems like a better place.

5. To Learn And Grow

We grow when we love someone and have someone who loves us. The right partner who loves you will encourage you to do creative things.

When someone loves us, we get the strength to go beyond our boundaries, and we do not hesitate to explore new horizons.

Love can help us overcome our fears and insecurities. Being with someone teaches us qualities like selflessness, compassion, acceptance, etc.

When we are happy, we tend to share that happiness with those around us.

We need love to help us become a warm person who is full of love for others.

How To Find Love The Right Way?

Neither falling in love with someone is in our hands, nor getting someone to love you is. What you can do, however, is try and become a great catch for the person you like. Knowing one or two things about how human beings react to specific actions and situations won’t hurt.

It’s good to know some techniques so that you won’t come around as a huge turn-off.

1. Have A Good Physical Appearance

When it comes to finding a potential partner, we all look at physical appearance first. We all want a partner we can confidently stand next to.

You don’t have to become a supermodel but attractive enough for the person you want to pursue.

Not taking good care of yourself can drive people away from you.

You can disagree all you want, but visual stimulus is an essential factor in a relationship.

You should stay fit and always look your best. Groom yourself and try to become a better version of yourself.

Remember, first impression is the last impression.

Attractive man drinking coffee in his kitchen

2. Be A Nice & Postive Person

Looks can fade away with time, but what lasts is a beautiful nature. If you are good looking but have a bad attitude, no one will love you.

You may be able to attract them easily, but without a good nature, you won’t be able to hold them for long. Don’t pretend to be someone you are not.

Love yourself and be yourself. Avoid bad habits like the plague and, if any, try to get rid of them for good.

Always think positively about others and don’t judge or talk ill about someone. Accept people for what they are. Be generous and kind towards others.

You can easily win over people with a good and warm heart. Live a stable and peaceful life.

Being a jerk might work for a short while but it is definitely not worth it in the long run.

3. Try To Become A Good Friend First

No, we are not talking about getting friend-zoned. That sucks! But great friends often become the best lovers.

A relationship built on the grounds of friendship has a better chance of succeeding. Friendship helps you to see the actual side of a person.

Also, you need to be honest and real with the person you like. Take an interest in their life and be a good listener. Be there for them whenever required.

Communication is the key. Don’t just talk about yourself and try to build a connection with them.

Focus on making them comfortable so that they can open up to you. You can try sharing some secrets to build trust.

4. Support & Encouragement Cost Nothing

Everyone is attracted to someone who understands them and their dreams. Nobody rejects a few supportive and encouraging words.

Try to form an emotional bond with the person you admire and become their strength.

Even in day to day life, you can be supportive by just being there and listening to someone.

Also, helping someone out in times of need is a great way to build rapport. However, make sure that the person is not using you.

In bad times being by their side, making them feel loved and cared for can become a lifelong memory.

When they are feeling low, you can put in a few encouraging words. Motivate them to do the right thing if you see them heading towards the wrong path.

Even if there are disagreements between the two of you, be patient and solve them calmly.

Show compassion and respect their decision in case someone still does not want to get involved with you romantically.

5. Make Them Feel Special 

Everyone wants to feel special and loved. If the person is important to you, then you need to show them that they are. Make them feel special.

Love them for who they are and appreciate them for more than what people think they are worth.

Don’t treat them like any other random person in your life.

Make plans with them and try to spend more time together so that you get to know them. Doing new things together will help you create memories.

Also, don’t forget to surprise them from time to time. Even doing little things can make the most significant of impacts. Make them laugh.

Give them great memories so that they feel a rush inside their body every time they think about you.

Man and woman spending a special moment together


We all crave love and feel the need for that someone special. And it’s perfectly fine to feel this way. But don’t lose your true self in the pursuit of love.

Don’t become someone you are not for love’s sake. Being loved by someone is important, but what’s more important is being in love with yourself.

Now tell us how will you go about finding love? Will you work on your communication first or your appearance? Comment below!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

Recent Posts