I Love Him But He Doesn’t Love Me | Steps To Win His Heart

It is not uncommon to be in one-sided love as our feelings aren’t always reciprocated. The important question is, should you give up on such love? And if yes, then when?

If you love him, but he doesn’t love you, he needs to see you differently. His feelings for you are based on whatever little he knows about you. He needs to see what a fantastic person you are and different from other girls. Outer beauty isn’t the only thing that can attract him.

His opinion of you needs to change to realize there is more to you than what’s visible. Find ways to create an irresistible attraction within him without being desperate.

How Do You Get A Guy Who Doesn’t Love You To Love You?

To get a guy who doesn’t love you to love you, focus on making yourself the best version of you rather than dreaming about him. An attractive man is attracted to an attractive, confident woman. He needs to realize that in this relationship, you are the catch and he’s supposed to be the one chasing.

TABLE: Would You Lose Attraction For A Woman Who Approaches You?

Depends on the approach48%
Can’t say26%
Source: Based on a survey by RebootLoveLife.com consisting of 346 men in the age group of 18-55 years.

Here are a few more important points to help you through:

1. Be Willing To Take A Risk

Are you willing to go through this path of uncertainty? You cannot always be sure that after putting in so much effort, he will end up loving you or not.

If he doesn’t fall for you, it can break your heart and hurt your pride and self-confidence.

Take this chance only if you love this guy to the extent that he is worth a broken heart.

Otherwise, it would be better to move on and leave him be and save yourself from some excruciating pain.

However, remember that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.

Be Willing To Take A Risk

2. Be Your Best Self

This guy doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t love the current you. To change his present feelings, let him see you in a never before avatar.

That will happen when you will start taking an interest in yourself first. Bring good changes in your life. Work on your confidence.

Start reading more and knowing the world around you. Adopt a fit and healthy lifestyle while adding some good hobbies to your daily schedule.

Amaze him with this new and better version of you. But remember, do this for yourself instead of taking it as a means to impress him.

If you don’t love yourself, how will he?

3. Are You Fun To Hang Around With?

When he starts taking an interest in you, amp that up by being fun and entertaining. Don’t laugh at all his jokes just because you need to appease him.

At the same time, don’t be afraid of cracking the silliest ones yourself. He won’t judge you.

Instead, he’ll only see a girl who is comfortable with herself around him. Be natural, lively, and playful around him.

However, you should adjust your humor according to the nature of the guy you love.

Some people are sensitive about certain things and may get offended. Be respectful towards boundaries.

But you will never know the boundaries if you never try. The critical point here is that he should like your company.

That way, he will look forward to meeting you more often.

4. Get To Know Him Better

Since you already love this person, we assume that you already know a lot of stuff about him. But if you don’t, then you should start learning about him first.

Find out his likes, dislikes, strengths, weaknesses, and anything else you can think of. Even if you know a fair bit about him, do not become cocky.

Do your research. The effort will be worth it when you connect with him on a deeper level, unlike many other girls.

It will help you in achieving your purpose, i.e., to stand out from the crowd. When you know him well, it becomes easier to attract him.

It will also prevent you from doing or saying things that may hurt his feelings.

5. Give Him A Surprise Gift

Not only do girls like novel gestures, but boys too like to feel special once in a while.

Since you are looking to begin something new, it doesn’t have to be anything extraordinary. You can start by making little gestures.

It can be making him a playlist for the gym or gift him an author-signed copy of his favorite book. You can also invite him to a sports event.

Remember the previous tip about learning more about him? It will give you new ideas!

Most girls would try to win his affection by giving him something expensive and extravagant. But nothing beats a personal touch.

Doing something for him will make him happy, and he will connect those happy memories with you.

Give Him A Surprise Gift

6. Do Not Hog His Personal Space

Some people love their freedom and always seek their personal space, even when in an intimate relationship.

Yes, we are trying to grab his attention, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t even leave him any room for breathing.

The key is to invoke the feelings of attraction in him rather than becoming a big banner ad in front of his eyes that irritates him 24×7.

Nobody needs a needy and desperate for love girl. You should know when to draw boundaries.

This will also send a message that you have a life worth living and are comfortable in your own skin. You do not need his approval or company.

Yes, you are interested in him and might be seeking companionship, but if things don’t turn out well, you will not linger around forever.

Perhaps some other guy will come and steal you from him.

7. Take An Interest In His Life

Guys love it when someone takes an interest in their interests. They want someone to share things with. Who would listen to them when they’re alone?

Take an interest in what goes on in his life but keep it non-creepy and respectable. You don’t want to scare him off by coming across as a stalker.

Ask questions about his day and always be genuinely interested. Don’t fake it.

If you have differing opinions and don’t like certain things, there’s nothing wrong with being honest about it.

If nothing, differing opinions at least spark off a discussion. However, the onus is on the two of you to keep that discussion civilized.

This will also help you stand out from countless women who will try to suck up to him so that he might like them.

8. Be Respectful Towards Him

No one likes to be around people who are disrespectful and abusive. Yeah, some people do that just to assert dominance and come across as cool.

You must treat him with the same respect as you wish to receive. Respect his decisions and life choices, even if they differ from your idea of life.

Do not try to take over his life and control it according to your wishes.

You both are separate individuals, with totally different families, histories, family backgrounds. Always remember that.

However, being respectful doesn’t mean being a people pleaser. If you find him in the wrong somewhere, do not hesitate to correct him politely.

9. Spend Quality Time Together

Rather than spending a hell lot of time together, you should shift your focus towards spending quality time with him.

He can grow bored of your company if you are available all the time.

Also, it would give the impression that you have nothing better to do in life than just catching his attention and becoming an object of his fancy.

Lack of dreams and goals in a girl is a huge turn-off for many guys.

If the time you spend with him is limited but more enjoyable and memorable, he would always want to come back for more.

Spend Quality Time Together

10. Develop Great Chemistry

Find out about things that he finds attractive in a woman and focus on enhancing those.

Those can be both physical and non-physical features like your personality or dressing sense.

Guys are visual creatures, so it does help to keep in shape and look hot.

But don’t do it just for him, do it for yourself so that you feel more confident about yourself. It will help you create tension and develop chemistry in the process.

Also, having similar interests or common tastes is a plus. Conversations become much more fun and smooth.

Make him realize how similar you both are, and he will start to see you as a part of him.

11. Make Him Feel Comfortable In Your Company

We can not stay for long in a space where we are uncomfortable with the people or things around us.

If you want this guy to spend more and more time with you, you must know how to make him feel comfortable around you.

Avoid doing things that bother him or make him uneasy. Try to become a person he can trust and would want to be with during the difficult times of his life.

He should find solace in your company. Attraction stems from both physical and emotional grounds, and you have to work on both.

12. Appreciate Him For His Efforts

We all like to be appreciated now and then. In fact, a lack of appreciation can dent our confidence big time.

Appreciate him for the things he does for others or you because kindness is underrated.

Even if he does something to make his life better, compliment him because working towards a dream or goal is praiseworthy.

Let him know that his efforts are not going down the drain, are being seen, and will yield results sooner or later.

Simple words and gestures will make him feel good about himself, encourage him to do more, or even go one step further every time.

13. Make Him Feel Accepted

A person feels secure and comfortable only when they are sure that the other person won’t judge them.

To make him love you, you must accept him even after knowing all his flaws and still loving him for who he is.

The caveat here is that those flaws should not be something outright wrong ethically.

Thus, do not get yourself involved with a racist, abusive or toxic person who’ll disrespect you and others at the drop of a hat.

However, if the flaws are minor that only make him seem more human than divine in your eyes, help him drop his shield and be vulnerable.

It will happen when he knows for sure that no harm will come to him from you. Make him show his true self to you.

For starters, try being your true self with him. Don’t try to come across as the perfect girl and hide your flaws, and only then he’ll want to open up with you.

Cracking silly jokes without being disrespectful, doing something stupid, sticking to your nerdy habits etc., is all allowed to establish a genuine rapport rather than a pretentious one.

Make Him Feel Accepted

14. Be His Biggest Supporter

You must support him in his purpose in life and help him achieve his goal like a true partner would do.

In the moments of self-doubt where he doesn’t feel he has got what it takes, you must believe in him and his passion more than he believes in them.

It will make him feel closer to you and give him a sense of assurance and moral support.

You should encourage his dreams, however improbable they seem right now and push him from time to time even better.

And in case he achieves something, instinctively, you’ll be the first person he’ll want to share his success with.

This will act as a catalyst in bringing the two of you even closer.

15. Earn His Trust

You can not make deeper connections with anyone until and unless they have faith in you.

Therefore, it is imperative to gain his trust and never break it. The principle stands not only with him but also with the people around you.

The impressions others have about you can greatly influence his opinion of you.

What people around you think about you can immediately make or break things.

If he finds something wrong or unethical about your recent past, no matter how hard you try to salvage your reputation, he won’t be coming back or become interested in you romantically anytime soon.

16. Bond With Him On A Deeper Level

This follows the last point about earning his trust. Making a deeper connection with him will shift you into the list of people close to his heart.

Be on his side when he is vulnerable, and just listen to him in complete silence when he wants to vent out.

Most people are always ready with suggestions and solutions when someone is ranting, but hardly anybody wants to just listen.

Most people rant not because they want an answer but because they want to get something off their chest.

Know his insecurities and fears. Be his guiding light in the darkness only if he asks you to be one.

This will help you form an emotional connection with him.

17. Ignite Within Him A Desire For You

He must see more in you than just a good friend. Yeah, the friend zone is a nice place, but romance doesn’t have much space to grow there.

Ignite in him the desire for you. Make it evident from time to time that you want more than just being friends.

If he is not acting accordingly, be bold enough to act upon your desires. Make eye contact while talking to him. Take the lead while flirting.

Gently touch him while talking or laughing to create tension and chemistry.

Let it be very clear that you fancy him through your flirty actions from time to time. However, you need not say it outright, as that just kills the tension.

Further, don’t make yourself too available for him. The lesser he gets of you, the more he’ll want. Don’t play hard to get, but actually be hard to get.

If he responds favorably, great, but if he doesn’t understand that it isn’t the end of the world.

Don’t come off as desperate and creepy or try to manipulate him emotionally. It’s unattractive.

Ignite Within Him A Desire For You

18. Create Beautiful Memories

You must give him something to miss while you are not around.

Instead of spending more time together, try creating high-quality moments of passion and love to ensure long-lasting memories.

Plan things for him like buying or making him a cup of his favorite coffee when he is stressed or exhausted.

Help him strike something off of his bucket list and do it together.

A lasting memory of you making him feel special will greatly impact his feelings for you.

He will think about these beautiful moments and miss you whenever you’re unavailable.

19. Become Unavailable And Analyze

Since you have acted in many ways to attract the guy you desire, now it’s time to sit back, relax and observe the impact.

Create a distance between you two and leave him alone for a while. See how he reacts to your absence.

Does he get anxious and try to connect, or is he not bothered at all? You’ll get your answers.

Also, it will give him time to miss you and think about the things you do that make him feel attracted to you.

A little distance, push and pull, is important when trying to get someone to like you.

It will only benefit you in the long run. Even diamonds would lose their charm and value if you found a bagful at your doorstep every morning.

How Do You Know If A Man Is Falling For You?

To know if a man is falling for you, observe if he wants to gradually spend more time with you. Unless he is interested in you romantically or physically or both, he will not have any reason to hang around you. Pair it up with his actions to deduce the authenticity of his emotions.

A guy who is just physically interested in you would act like it by either being extra sweet and caring or try to push things towards the bedroom as soon as possible.

Whereas if he is romantically interested in you, you’d definitely find a hint of nervousness in his behavior whenever you are around.

Why? He’ll be scared of you judging him.

Guys who only want to sleep around would only be disappointed that they didn’t get what they wanted.

Here are a few more signs to look out for:

1. He Stays Connected

You guys are in constant touch throughout the day or most of the week. He texts you more often than before, and he initiates calls as well.

He is sharing the highlights of his days with you and expects the same from you.

He would also try a little bit of flirtatious sarcasm, being cute on text or whatever his style is, and he will use his charm because he wants to impress you.

So, you’ll know every little detail of what’s going on in his life, and you’ll feel closer to him.

He Stays Connected

2. He Has Started Sharing Secrets With You

Men don’t open up easily, especially not with any random person.

They don’t share their personal life with anyone but with people close to them and whom they can trust.

So, if he has started sharing his secrets with you, then you have hit the right spot.

He might even tell you about his past relationships, what kind of girl he wants to be with, and what he expects from a relationship.

These can also include his bad past experiences other than his love life.

He will be sharing things he can’t share with anyone else because he entrusts you with this information.

3. You Are The First Person He Talks To

You are the first person to get the news whenever something good or bad happens to him. You have become his go-to person.

He thinks that you understand him and know him well enough to feel what he feels.

He knows that you genuinely care about him and whatever goes on in his life matters to you.

He is truly happy when you are around and concerned when you’re under stress.

4. He Is Spending More Time With You

Now that he is falling for you, he’ll spend more time with you than usual. When you are with him, he’ll never want you to leave.

He’ll look forward to meeting you, and in fact, he’ll initiate the plans for the meeting.

By now, he’ll also start mentioning how he loves your company and can’t get enough of you.

But these words won’t seem cheesy, insincere, and you’ll feel the same about him.

While visiting your usual hangout place, if you are not around, he’ll call or text to say how boring the place is without you and how he wishes you were there.

He will not be afraid to show affection and might even move beyond limits by saying he misses you even when you guys aren’t together.

5. He Gives You ‘The Look’

You can judge from his actions that he has started falling for you.

Every time he looks at you, you’ll be able to see it in his eyes that he is smitten by you unless he is shy and extremely nervous around you and doesn’t make any eye contact.

You’ll see that he would just enjoy your presence.

Sitting close to you and wrapping his hand around your shoulder or waist in an innocent way while walking are some signs that he is falling for you.

He Gives You 'The Look'

6. There Will Be Compliments

When he is falling in love with you, he can’t help but give you tons and tons of compliments.

Now, these compliments won’t sound insincere said while expecting something in return. Instead, he’ll say it because he’ll genuinely feel like it.

Compliments aren’t only related to outer appearance. He could praise your skills, intellect, or other hidden details.

In his eyes, you are this perfect girl whom he now adores.

And at times when he won’t be saying something, you’ll catch him gazing at you for no apparent reason.


You need to be very careful that you are not pushing it too much. Else, you’d come off as creepy and desperate instead of attractive.

Know your limits and when to draw boundaries. Also, it is unethical if he is with someone else. He will only look at you as a breaker of relationships.

He will feel uneasy and may cut all contacts. How are you going to catch his attention?

Will you focus more on being an attractive woman yourself, or would you try and form a deeper connection with him?

Or will it be a mixture of both? Either way, comment below!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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