I Love My Boyfriend But I Want To Sleep With Someone Else

A relationship with a boyfriend where love feels monotonous might make you want to sleep with someone else. We understand that physical intimacy declines with time.

It’s not unnatural to love your boyfriend but think about sleeping with someone else. People in relationships have fantasies about others and lust for them. However, do not act on such carnal impulses. Cheating on your boyfriend is unethical. It is a lazy and a short-term approach to spice up your life.

Instead of pursuing someone new, spark things up with your boyfriend. Explore different lovemaking techniques to not only spark the interest back but also save your current relationship.

If you still want to sleep with someone else, is it possible to convince your boyfriend and do it ethically? Check out How To Turn Your Partner Into A Swinger now!

Before We Begin

Let us give you a scenario that will sound eerily familiar.

Earlier, there was never a time where you thought of cheating on him or having an affair. But now you are also tired of the familiar foreplay or that same old routine.

Your relationship feels unexciting, and you think there is nothing to look forward to.

We don’t even know you and yet somehow touched upon your feelings. Why? Because you are not the only girl who is feeling the same.

And what do we suggest? Try talking to your boyfriend about how you feel. But, we don’t think being direct will go down well with him.

Your boyfriend may feel offended and will believe he can not satisfy your physical needs. He may not feel manly enough and will take it personally.

The thought will keep bothering him, and sooner or later, your relationship will end. If it’s only about a one night stand, then it’s not worth losing your love.

Being indirect and communicating what you like in bed is the better way out.

What Do You Do When You Love Your Boyfriend But Like Someone Else?

If you love your boyfriend but like someone else, ask yourself how important your relationship is to you? If it is very important, cut off all forms of contact with this new guy. Minimize your interactions if avoiding him is not possible. If your relationship has turned sour, break up with your boyfriend.

It’s common to get attracted to someone else despite being in a happy relationship. In our day to day life, we come across a lot of people.

We like some, and we hate some, but the thought vanishes as soon as you leave the place.

Sometimes, the intensity of liking someone increases a bit, and you are thinking about them even after you are not around them.

Now, you are worried and are seeking validations if it’s OK or not. Here are some things you must know if you ‘think’ you love your boyfriend.

1. Know Why You Like This New Person

It’s good to know on what basis you like this new guy. Are you after his looks? Do you like how rich he is and can afford anything that you want?

Or is it because he is a kinder human being than your boyfriend and understands you well?

If the answer to these questions is the first two i.e., looks and money, then it’s not worth leaving your boyfriend for such trivial reasons.

Looks and money matter to a point, but after that, it’s only the heart of the person that matters in the long run.

If he has some better qualities as compared to your boyfriend, then too, it’s not a good enough reason to break up.

Your boyfriend can work upon improving himself if you let him know his downsides. Try spending some more quality time with your boyfriend.

Leaving should be an option only if either your guy is a horrible person or the two of you cannot adjust with each other, no matter how hard you try.

2. Do Not Act Upon It

No matter how intense your attraction is for this new person, do not act upon your urge. Try just being friends with this person for a while and get to know them.

Maybe after knowing them better, you will see they are not that good after all. Think about the consequences that your actions will bring.

What if, after fulfilling your desire, you will realize it was never worth cheating on your boyfriend.

TABLE: People On Regretting Cheating In The Past

No regret3%
Mild regret21%
Extreme regret76%
Source: Based on a study by RebootLoveLife.com consisting of 147 married and unmarried individuals who had cheated on one or more partners in the past.

Be a person with integrity, and don’t let your hormones rule over you. It is never a good idea to hurt someone’s feelings for your own selfish needs.

Do Not Act Upon It

3. Give Time ‘Some Time’

Give your feelings some time to settle down because you don’t know to what extent you like this person.

Maybe after a while, they won’t be in your thoughts as actively, or perhaps their thoughts will still haunt you everywhere. Who knows?

But, it is wise to take some time to know how deeply you like this person.

Try to reboot your love life with your boyfriend. Maybe you are craving some freshness in life and not an entirely new person altogether.

It’s sometimes much better to work on what you already have than starting something new. Companies know that acquiring a new customer is 10x costlier than retaining an existing one.

If, after trying everything, you still like this person and are not able to forget him, consider talking about it with your boyfriend. But this should be the last resort.

How To Know If You Love Your Boyfriend Or Someone Else?

To know if you love your boyfriend or someone else, imagine your life if your boyfriend dies today. Now imagine your boyfriend with some other girl. Do you feel something heavy within your chest? If yes, you still love your boyfriend and are only fascinated with this new person.

It’s essential to know whether you only like this new person or you are in love with them.

It is common for people to fall for someone else without even knowing, while they are still in a relationship.

Here are some more ways to find out your true feelings about this new person:

1. This Person Is Always On Your Mind

It would seem that nowadays you are spending more time thinking about this new interest of yours than you think about your boyfriend.

You are always planning your next meeting with this new guy. You fantasize about him, and you frequently dream about him.

You think about him while your boyfriend is sitting right next to you. At times when you are making love with your boyfriend, you can’t help but imagine this new person.

Whenever you are at a gathering or doing something fun, you wish this person was with you. He is the one you want around you more than your boyfriend.

2. You Love Being With This Person More Than Your Boyfriend

You are always excited to meet him, and you love being with him. Whenever you meet this person, you wish for time to come to a standstill.

You want to talk to this new guy for hours and know more and more about him. You are always blushing and feel stupid when around this guy.

It becomes hard for you to have a proper conversation as you are too busy admiring him. When you are not with him, you send messages to see what he is up to.

Just one reply from him makes you feel happy and adds a spark to your day. You don’t think or care about your boyfriend anymore.

Instead, you feel guilty for being interested in someone else. You are head over heels for this new interest of yours.

You Love Being With This Person More Than Your Boyfriend

3. You Avoid Your Boyfriend In Front Of Him

If by any chance, you three are together at some gathering, you try to avoid being seen with your present boyfriend by your new interest.

You talk to this new person more than your boyfriend.

Also, you don’t make any loving gestures towards your boyfriend as you don’t want this new guy to see that you are not single.

Even if he knows that you have a boyfriend, you indirectly try to convince him that you have no feelings for your boyfriend or are in a bad relationship.

Moreover, you want him to see you as single and a potential date.

What To Do If You Don’t Love Your Boyfriend But Someone Else ?

If you don’t love your boyfriend but someone else, it is better to call off the relationship. There is no point in dragging it as you are not invested enough. By breaking up, you might hurt your boyfriend today but will save him from a ton of unnecessary drama in the long run.

If you have fallen in love with someone else while you are still with your boyfriend, then possibly you are not happy with him.

You want different things from your relationship, the two of you are not on the same page. Here are a few more things to consider:

1. Do Not Make A Move While You Are With Your Boyfriend

As you are so into this new person, you may feel like acting upon your emotions.

You may want to let him know how you feel about him, or you may want to have a moment of passion.

It becomes tough to avoid the urge to become close to the new person you love, but no matter what, don’t take any action.

If you are still with your boyfriend, then you taking any step in the direction of your feelings would be considered cheating.

Also, if you could cheat on your boyfriend once, then what is the guarantee of you not doing the same to this new person you claim to love.

Doing so will not only malign your image in front of this new person you want to pursue but your boyfriend as well.

You may end up pushing this person further away as a wise person would not want to be with someone who has cheated on their previous partner.

2. Make A Confession

Once you know your true feelings regarding your boyfriend, you should talk to him about the same. Don’t sugar coat what you have to say and be direct.

Give him the exact reason because you leaving him is hard enough on him. Don’t leave him wondering what the actual reason was behind you dumping him.

Clearly state your feelings and don’t give conflicting statements or try to make it smooth for him.

Many girls make the mistake of not breaking up with their boyfriend first and try for the new guy.

This way, even if the new guy rejects their advances, she still has her previous relationship to fall back on and does not end up being alone and single.

This is wrong on so many levels. It clearly shows the lack of moral values or integrity in the girl.

If you have done something similar in the past, now is your chance to not repeat your mistakes. Now that you’ve spoken your heart out, listen to what he wants to say.

Whatever way he reacts in, you need to remain calm and patient as you just broke his heart. Let him react and get it out of his system.

Give him the time and space to process the whole thing and you breaking up with him. However, do not allow space for any violence, verbal or physical.

Make A Confession

3. Take Some Time Off

Now that you are single again, it’s a green card for you to fire things up with your new love interest. However, we recommend you to stay single for a while.

Take some time off and try reconsidering what you want.

Maybe you will realize you love your boyfriend more than this new person as you’ve been too busy chasing your fantasy.

You will also get time to look over your previous relationships and all the times where you lacked as a girlfriend.

If, after some time, you are still not over your newfound love interest, consider giving him and this new relationship a chance and let the new guy know about your feelings for him.

Is It Okay To Sleep With Someone Else While Dating?

It is okay to sleep with someone else while dating if you do not try to hide it from the people you are seeing. Dating is not a relationship.

The only ethical way to sleep with someone else when you’re in a relationship is to convince your partner to swing.

We have an awesome resource to help you live your fantasies and scratch that itch!

Being able to meet multiple people is one of the perks of dating. The bottom line is to be upfront about what you want.

Do not lie or keep your date in the dark. But a guy whom you date does not automatically become your boyfriend.

There should be a verbal expression of interest from the two of you that yes, you would like to be in a committed relationship with each other.

Also, don’t be naïve and take wild steps just because you are in your dating phase. STDs are a reality.

Here are some must-know rules when it comes to dating multiple people so that you don’t end up making a rookie mistake.

1. You And Your Date Agree To It

It’s important to let your date know what exactly is going on in your mind.

It would be outright wrong to sleep with someone else and then tell your date about it or even hide it from them.

Maybe they are planning to become exclusive to you, and you shatter their feelings by taking such a step.

Don’t do it just because you want to do it. Talk about it in advance with your date. Let them know what your expectations are from them.

If your date thinks the same and agrees to the thought of dating multiple people and sleeping with them, then go for it, no one is stopping you.

Prevent yourself from hurting someone’s feelings.

You And Your Date Agree To It

2. Keep Complete Transparency

If you are dating multiple people simultaneously, be honest with all of them. If they want to know about your intentions, don’t complicate things by hiding the truth.

Keep them updated with whatever is going on in your life. If you don’t want to see someone, let them know it right away.

Don’t keep them around just because it ‘feels’ good. Similarly, if you’re honest, you have the right to know about whatever is going on with your dates as well.

Ask them about their feelings and expectations from time to time so that you can plan your actions accordingly.

3. Know What You Want

Sometimes we go with the flow without knowing whether the flow is good for us or not.

We enjoy it for some time, but when we get time to look back on our actions, we feel bad. You realize you did something, but never really wanted it.

You just gave in to your moment of weakness. It isn’t who you are as a person. If in the process, you end up hurting someone, you will curse yourself for the same.

While you are seeing multiple people or sleeping with them, avoid regretting it later on by doing your due research before jumping to conclusions.

Decide whether you can live with whatever you are doing. If not, then don’t. We don’t want you to regret it later and drown in your sorrow.

While you are dating, don’t just sleep around. Try and get to know about your dates and who they are as a person.


It is not abnormal to get attracted to someone else, like them, or even fall in love while you are still in a relationship. Do not curse yourself or feel guilty about it.

It’s possible your boyfriend also feels the same for someone else, and you don’t even know about it. But do not cheat no matter what the circumstances are.

Else you’ll be left with a lifelong baggage of regret, or you will become accustomed to adultery. Now tell us in the comments below how will you resolve your situation?

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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