A married man paying extra attention and taking an interest in personal life might feel subliminal. However, the sly glances, making constant passes, and the not-so-subtle flirting get uncomfortable quickly. The overly sweet gestures and show of care are dead giveaways of his intentions. But why is a married man flirting with you?
A married man may flirt irrespective of how happy or unhappy his marriage is. A compulsive cheat doesn’t need a reason for an extramarital affair. Gifts and favors would be his go-to tricks so that he can sleep with you. The one who genuinely likes you should get a divorce before committing to you.
You can always ask him to stop or ignore the flirty innuendos and maintain a distance. To help you understand the situation clearly, here are some signs and reasons behind a married man flirting and how to handle him.
How Do You Tell If A Married Man Is Flirting With You?
A married man flirting with you would always crib about his marriage and portray his wife in a bad light while sprinkling in how you are much better than the woman he is forced to stay with. He may even try to come across as a doting father so that you see the nice guy in him and aren’t creeped out.
Being sure about whether the guy is actually flirting with you (and maybe even thinking of cheating on his wife) or just having some harmless fun is crucial.
Misreading his behavior could result in a messy situation where you either unknowingly wreck another woman’s home if he finds you reciprocating his interest or wrongly think of him as unfaithful.
1. Flirting Using His Body
He’ll try to make eye contact with you and maintain it even if you catch him looking at you while smiling a bit to not look like a creep (even if he does look like one).
Those long stares are a clear sign that he is flirting with you. He’ll lean in closer to you while talking or standing.
He’ll find reasons to touch you, maybe by holding your hand while crossing the road or going in for one or two-handed hugs.
Those hugs will last a bit longer than necessary.
2. Excessive Compliments
A married man is flirting with you if he excessively praises your work and compliments you for your looks or clothing.
He’ll admire your physical appearance and even mention how much he likes things such as your eyes or physique.
He will laugh at the lamest jokes you crack and praise you for having a good sense of humor.
If you have been getting unnecessary and over-the-top attention from a married man, you should know he is interested in you.
3. Taking An Interest In Your Personal Life
He is flirting with you if he tries to dig deep into your personal life during conversations.
This guy would want to know everything about you, your likes and dislikes, your hobbies, your family history, etc., to find some common ground and build a connection from there.
He’ll even want to test the waters by asking whether you’re seeing anybody or what kind of a man do you prefer.
4. Visible Jealousy (Both Healthy & Unhealthy)
Jealousy is a sure shot sign of attraction if this man has given some hints earlier that he may be into you.
He’ll be jealous of other men close to you, even if they are only friends. Obviously, he won’t like your partner if you are in a relationship.
Till this point, the jealousy is healthy because it shows that he cares.
But he’ll be crossing those boundaries if he tries to manipulate you into picking fights with your partner by turning you against him.
And if you’re single but interested in someone else, he might even try to fill you with negative perceptions regarding that person and ask you to stay away.
5. Tries To Be Around And Stays In Touch
This man would look for opportunities to hang out with you more and more. He’ll find excuses to make you stay with him longer.
He’ll often discuss his personal life with you more than needed, most of which would be how cruel his wife is and how his marriage is a sham (more on this later).
When not around you physically, he’ll try and stay in constant contact over texts and calls.
6. Cribbing About His Marriage
When with you, he will complain incessantly about his wife and will always try to gain sympathy.
He will often tell you how he wishes his wife was more like you. He will draw comparisons between you and his wife.
By creating a narrative that his relationship with his wife feels forceful and how desperately he wishes to be free, he’ll try and make you see him as a victim.
7. Change In Appearance And Dressing Sense
You will see him putting more effort into changing his appearance, carefully crafting it along what you like.
By this time, he might have asked you about what do you like in a man several times. It’s time to make your fantasies a reality.
He is trying to become someone you would like to go out with by dressing a certain way or trying to be physically fit.
If you compliment him, he’ll make sure you know that you are the driving force behind it.
If you don’t notice him at all or avoid complimenting him to refrain from giving certain signals, you’ll find him sulking about it.
Sometimes he’ll even throw in a joke or a sarcastic retort about how some people (you) don’t notice him enough.
8. No Sign Of Wedding Ring
Even though you know he is married, he would avoid wearing his wedding ring around you.
This is a subtle gesture to imply that he is in an unhappy marriage.
He’d think that doing this would show his availability and thus allow you to approach him much more freely if you are even remotely interested in him by any chance.
9. Doing Favors And Giving Gifts
He’ll be showering you with gifts and flowers.
He’ll also pay attention to little details about you so that he can use those bits and pieces of information to further impress you.
You’ll also find him going out of his way several times to help you out so that he develops a certain level of trust.
By establishing trust and making you see him as a ‘good’ guy, he wants you to skip over the dilemmas of him being a cheater.
10. Uncomfortable Mentioning His Wife
If he is someone who doesn’t portray his wife in a bad light, you might have noticed him getting uncomfortable talking about her.
When you or someone else does mention her, he’ll try to divert the topic to something else.
His behavior would completely change, which would be enough to make people avoid talking about his married life.
By doing this, he’ll want to wipe out the fact of him being married from your mind.
The lesser you think about his wife and wrecking another woman’s home, the more easily he can zone in on you.
11. Tries To Meet You In Private
Have you noticed him extending offers to take you out for drinks to dimly lit places like bars or movies?
That’s because he wants to take you somewhere private where he can freely flirt with you or may even try to get physically close to you without being noticed by others.
Being seen with you in intimate scenarios in full public view is risky, and therefore he wants to minimize the risk to zero.
Of course, the ultimate goal is to take you to a hotel or maybe go to your place, but he cannot ask that unless you show some signs of interest.
What Does It Mean When A Married Man Flirts?
When a married man flirts, it means he will cheat on his wife if given a chance. The reasons might range from not being satisfied with one woman to being in an unhappy marriage. In all cases, he will pay a lot of attention to you. But all the affection and show of care doesn’t mean he loves you.
Thus, it’s clear that the meaning behind his flirtatious actions and his reasons cannot be boiled down to just one.
Therefore, you must know what some of the most probable ones are.
1. A Monotonous Married Life
Many men get bored easily with how unhappening their married life becomes. Being with one woman forever is not everyone’s cup of tea.
These men who seek variety in their life can never be satisfied by having just one woman.
They will flirt and cheat on their wives because they are bored with their married life and frequently seek a new woman’s company.
The thought of going out with someone new excites them.
2. Seeking Validation
Married men flirt with other women to validate themselves. Often, they want to see if they have still got what it takes to impress a woman.
They do so to boost their ego and self-esteem. Married men feel confident when a woman responds to their advances.
This behavior could also stem from not getting enough appreciation from their spouse and kids.
Maybe his wife makes him feel unwanted or undesirable, thus giving him an excuse to seek affection elsewhere.
3. His Marriage Lacks Happiness
An unhappy marriage is a reason enough for a married man to go out and flirt with some other woman to try and form a romantic bond.
Possibly they are in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage where they feel lonely.
In such a situation, even physical intimacy is practically non-existent, forcing him to satisfy his urges elsewhere.
Perhaps his married life is full of constant arguments, misunderstandings, and trust issues.
Not getting the desired love and attention from his wife makes him look outside his marriage for love and care.
4. Flirting Just Because He Can
Some men flirt with other women just for fun and because they can. Should he? That’s not the question he’s concerned about.
They flirt to pass some time, and they love to act charming and funny. Potentially, they do it out of habit and with every other woman.
He might not even want to seek any physical or romantic relationship but still flirt. Why?
Because he’s a compulsive flirt, and that’s just how he is. Is he in an unhappy marriage? Maybe not, but that doesn’t matter to him.
As long as he is not cheating on his wife, he sees nothing wrong in some harmless flirting.
He may be loyal to his wife but thinks that some healthy flirting doesn’t hurt anyone.
5. Loves Taking Unnecessary Risk
He might be the type of guy who likes some risk, and the thrill of chasing a woman despite being married might be exhilarating to him.
He might just be flirting with you because he sees you as a prize and probably hard to get.
Winning you over will give them the satisfaction of achieving something unattainable.
Also, for some men, flirting with women other than their wives is akin to tasting the forbidden fruit.
6. Unsatisfactory Bedroom Intimacy
A married man flirting with you could be looking to get laid with you because his marriage lacks intimacy.
He is not content in his marriage, especially because whatever’s happening in the bedroom is leaving him unsatisfied.
Maybe he wants to explore something more that his wife might not be comfortable with.
It might even be possible that even his basic physical needs are not being met due to being stuck with a woman who doesn’t have a high drive.
7. He Actually Likes You
A married man flirting can also mean that he actually likes this woman.
He is not in a loving marriage and has managed to find that peace in this woman. He feels happy around her and wants to pursue her as a lover.
It’s possible that he might divorce his wife later and get married to this new woman after being in a relationship for a while.
How Do You Handle A Married Man Flirting With You?
To handle a married man flirting with you, make sure he clearly knows that you disapprove of his advances. Not being clear enough for the sake of being courteous can be misinterpreted as your interest. You can be polite yet pretty firm with your no. Seek legal help if he just won’t stop.
Many women blame themselves for attracting a married man. They think that there must be something wrong with them, and that is why they keep attracting creeps.
Understand that a man wanting to be unfaithful to his wife has nothing to do with you.
Here you can read our article on: ‘Why Do I Attract Married Men?‘ to know more!
Here are some in-depth steps to handle and steer clear of a married man who is flirting with you.
1. Do Not Reciprocate Unless He’s Getting Divorced
Indulging in a romantic relationship with a married man is morally wrong because you risk wrecking a home.
Also usually, it’s a relationship without a future.
You will always be risking heartbreak and might be left alone at the end when he can’t (read doesn’t want to) leave his wife.
In contrast, he would have his own ‘happy family’ to look after and be around.
It is best not to complicate things and maintain distance unless the guy’s divorce proceedings are already going on.
2. Keep Your Distance
Keeping a safe distance from a married man will prevent him from making flirtatious advances towards you.
Non-reciprocation of his interest from your end might keep him from coming physically close to you.
Avoid places where you can bump into him. If possible, alter the timings of your visit.
If you work together or maybe go to the same gym, then plan your work or workout so that you will share the bare minimum time and space with him.
Not seeing you enough or your absence will take you off his radar, and he will eventually lose interest in you. He might even move to the next target.
3. Become Stingy With Your Words
If you are unable to create distance with this person for some reason, then respond in a brief manner. Give him one-word answers or just nod.
Try to leave his company as soon as possible. Make an excuse to walk out of the situation. Do it every time he tries to come near you and initiate a conversation.
One person barely carrying the conversation makes it difficult for the other to keep going.
4. Ask Him What He Means When He Flirts
Not only should you learn to avoid his presence and ignore whatever he says, but you can also always rephrase whatever he said as a question.
Suppose when he makes an innuendo and tries to act all slick, act stupid and ask him to explain what he means.
Legit, say that you did not understand. Explaining your ‘joke’ or ‘compliment’ kills the mood.
You can amp up this behavior by not making any eye contact with this person when he is talking to you or trying to flirt with you.
Give a cold response to his compliments. Pretend to be busy with something when he is lingering around you.
5. Resist Physical Advances
He should not get the idea that you like it when he flirts with you. He should clearly know that his touch makes you highly uncomfortable.
He should know how much it disgusts you and that your resistance is not coming from a friendly place.
If he didn’t touch you deliberately, he will understand your point and keep his behavior in check.
You will have to speak up for yourself and let him know how inappropriate it is, whatever it is that he’s trying.
But do give him the benefit of the doubt for the once in a blue moon accidental touch.
But if these ‘accidents’ seem frequent, then there’s more to what meets the eye.
6. Never Meet In Private
Most married men cannot show a direct interest and flirt with you openly in public. They would be judged, frowned upon, and be considered unfaithful.
To prevent that, they would always look for chances to take you somewhere private or hit on you when people do not surround you.
So, politely decline any offers they make to take you out, no matter what excuses they come up with.
Avoid being alone in office areas or places you know he can find you.
Constant rejection of his advances and not being able to talk to you freely would force him to stop pursuing you unless he’s a psychopath.
In that case, seeking help, both personal (family and friends) and legal, is your way to go.
7. Keep It Platonic
Don’t let yourself fall for his words and flirtatious ways no matter what this man says or does. Keep everything strictly professional if you work together.
Being formal and platonic should be your default behavior. Even being called a friend might give a married man the wrong signal of interest.
Your disinterest should be pretty clear.
If you become friendly and comfortable around him, thinking he’ll stop bothering you after being friend-zoned, he will take this little progress as a hint of your approval.
Do not let that happen, and always keep your guards high around him.
8. Avoid Taking Favors From Him
Offering to help you is not only a tactic to impress and attract you but is also a trap where you’d owe him one, thus setting the stage for further interaction.
If you take favors from him, you will be in his debt, which he can use whenever he wishes.
He will manipulate you emotionally by saying he has been good to you and always tried helping you so that you will feel bad for him.
You will agree to do things for him like going out with him for dinner or drinks, thinking you are settling the debt, whereas you are just falling deeper into the trap.
9. Do Not Accept Gifts From Him
Do not take gifts from a married man flirting with you, irrespective of the occasion.
He only wants to woo you and get into bed with you by showing his money and giving expensive gifts.
He just wants you to see how much he has to offer before you accept his advances.
You will only be giving him all the wrong impressions if you accept his gifts, even out of courtesy. He will take that as a positive sign and will not leave you alone.
10. Don’t Discuss Your Personal Life
Whenever he tries to communicate with you or ask questions about your personal life, make sure you don’t utter anything, as he can use them against you.
He will try to take advantage of the information you provide. Also, sharing personal things creates a bond with whosoever it’s done with.
A married person interested in you romantically is the last person you want to share that bond with.
11. Ignore His Calls And Texts
Do not pick up his calls or texts outside of work. If he is a friend or acquaintance, avoid unnecessary chitchats.
Late-night calls from him are a strict no-no as they put you at risk of getting caught by his wife and complicating things further.
Limit interactions if you work together, and he calls you using work as an excuse. Tell him firmly that whatever it is can wait till office hours tomorrow.
Ignore his text messages if nothing significant is being discussed.
12. Keep Your Social Media Private
Block him from every social media platform you use before he finds out and starts approaching you there.
If he already follows you, then you can only ignore and limit your interaction online.
Blocking is still an option, but you risk coming across as extremely rude and would give rise to unnecessary gossip if you have a common social circle.
Do not reply to his comments or DMs, and you should be good to go.
When he asks explicitly why you do not reply, say that you don’t check your DMs, comments, and messages much.
13. Tell Him You Are In A Serious Relationship
This point contradicts our previous advice of not sharing personal information, but it’s worth a try if you believe that he will back off by knowing your relationship status.
Tell him that you are in a serious, committed relationship, and you are a very loyal partner.
Even cook up a story about how aggressive your guy is and how mad he would get if he finds out about some guy hitting on his girl.
Most men usually back off as nobody wants to deal with a psycho boyfriend or husband.
Tell him how much you love your guy and how you would never cheat on him. Subtly slip in how much you hate people who even think of cheating on their partner.
Maybe this guy will feel ashamed of himself and stop flirting with you.
14. Talk About His Wife
Bring in his wife and kids whenever he starts a conversation with you.
Something as simple as how they are is enough to develop it from there and shift the focus entirely.
Show a keen interest in knowing his wife and admire her even if you don’t know her that well.
Do not talk about other family members or relatives as that will be misinterpreted as taking interest and wanting to know him more.
He will get uncomfortable if you mention his wife whenever he tries to come close to you.
It will directly hit his conscience (if any of that is left) and make him feel guilty about his behavior.
15. Clearly State Your Disapproval
If you feel that things are going out of control and, despite your constant efforts to decline his advances politely, he is in no mood to stop, then confront him.
Explicitly tell him how you feel about him flirting with you, how inappropriate it is, and how it disgusts you. Remember, the key is not to insult him.
Else, he might seek revenge in the future. Politely let him know that you would appreciate it if he backs off.
Do not threaten to publicly ridicule him or seek legal help unless he is really getting out of control.
Then, of course, you should resort to whatever puts him down as soon as possible.
Married men flirt with other women for many reasons, some genuine, like seeking some much-needed affection, but most married men just want a casual affair.
Usually, it’s really uncomfortable and disgusting for women to go through such a thing.
These predators can come awfully close and pass inappropriate remarks if you are vulnerable around them.
If you feel that all the signs point towards making a pass at you, then it would be best to confront this man and stop his actions.
Take serious and legal measures against this man if it is required.