In unhappy marriages, one or both partners fall out of love gradually. They know it but choose to stay together just for the sake of kids or other reasons.
If your wife doesn’t love you anymore, win her love back by becoming the man she fell in love with initially. Start afresh and recreate that attraction. Make the efforts to know her again. Show that you value her and will not give up on your marriage.
These are the fundamental things to start with and something that your wife wants from you. Fulfill that emotional supply and demand gap.
How Can I Get My Wife To Love Me Again?
To get your wife to love you again, woo her like she is a new girl in your life. Remember the efforts you used to make in the initial days of romance. Become the man she wants to love. At the same time, eliminate what’s causing friction in your marriage.
Be prepared to bend some rules and compromise.
It’s not going to be easy, and you’ll need to be very patient and calm while trying to win her back.
Put maximum effort into knowing her needs and making her feel wanted again.
Don’t force yourself or your wishes on her because it will only do more damage and push her away.
1. Communicate With Your Wife
We always emphasize how important communication is in a relationship. Your partner won’t know what you want or don’t if you won’t tell them.
There can’t be any solution to a problem if you won’t speak up, so go on and put your points across.
Talk to your wife and give her a comfortable space where she can open up to you. Make her feel that you are there for her.
Take an interest in what she has to say. Try to find out why she no longer loves you and see where you lacked as a husband.
When you know what the real problem is, you should work towards resolving it.
TABLE: Common Experiences During Marital Discord
|Lack of respect during conversations||45%|
|Avoid talking to each other||73%|
|Not accepting mistakes||67%|
|Hopelessness about the marriage||31%|
|Negligible physical intimacy||76%|
|Completely separate lives||23%|
|Cheating on each other||29%|
|Wish the worst for each other||12%|
Note: Percentage does not equal to 100 due to overlapping reasons.
2. Accept Your Mistakes
Accepting your mistakes and where you lacked as a partner will not make you less of a man, but it will help your wife see you in a new light.
She is used to the old you who won’t apologize and blame her for everything. Not behaving predictably here can help you get your wife back.
It’s the first step towards mending things. It is the first and foremost change she would want to see in you, i.e., owning your mistakes.
3. Give Her Space
Once you have talked and apologized to your wife, it’s time to leave her free to process all this.
This is where she decides if she wants to give you another chance or leave you for good.
Giving space is essential because constantly bugging her with your apologies will suffocate her.
It will leave your wife even more irritated and angry. If she chooses to give you another chance, it doesn’t mean the work is done.
Now you have to put more effort than before to make her love you again. And if she decides to leave, there is no point in trying to hold her back forcefully.
She won’t be happy with you that way either.
4. Revisit Your Actions
Being understood and being heard by someone is the primary thing that we want in life. When we are married, we expect that from our spouse.
We share things with our partner and seek their support whenever needed.
If your wife has stopped sharing her thoughts with you, it means she has lost all hopes in you.
Try and understand what your wife wants, her feelings, and why she is behaving the way she is or what caused her to change.
Revisit all those times where you hurt her, where she cried because of you, and where she wanted you to listen, but you were ignorant.
Keep asking these questions to yourself, and you will definitely find some answers.
5. Change Yourself For Good
Once you know what hurts your wife and makes her angry, try changing those habits. There is no harm in changing things that are causing problems in your marriage.
Become more empathetic, show compassion, and shower on her a lot of affection.
Do something that will change her perception of you in a good way. Bring back those old traits that she loved about you.
Include healthy living habits in your lifestyle and workout regularly. It will help you become more attractive to her and boost your confidence.
Life will not seem dull if you are in good shape, both mentally and physically. She’ll see that you are putting effort and you do care about her feelings.
Become a better person for her and yourself.
6. Reconnect With Her
When a marriage is on the verge of breaking, it means most of the damage is already done. What you have to do now is start from scratch.
You must rebuild the relationship, and for that, you should try and connect with your wife from the beginning.
In all the fights, arguments, and disappointments, the bond you once had with your partner gets lost.
To make your wife love you again, you must rebuild that lost bond, which was there initially.
Recreate those moments when she saw you as someone who could understand her and connect with her on many levels.
Be there for her as a good friend in this time when her marriage is on the rocks. A good husband needs to be a good friend first.
7. Spend Quality Time
Spending quality time together will help you connect with her emotionally. Make her feel comfortable in your company again.
Make this time fun and relaxing, and she will look forward to spending more and more time with you.
When you are with her, don’t talk about yourself but listen to what she has to say about herself.
If you lend her a listening ear, she will express herself more openly. She will include you in her plans.
She will tell you what she is going through and about her inner conflicts. Also, she will open up about things that she has been holding back for so long.
8. Make Her The Center Of Your World
It is time to make up for all the bad times, the times where your wife felt neglected, undervalued, and lonely. It’s time to show her how important she is to you.
Show how you will do anything and not let her go. Convey through your actions that without her, your life is meaningless.
You have ignored her for a while now, so try to include her in most parts of your life. But be careful that she is not feeling suffocated.
Give your wife her own safe space where she can go back to evaluate things.
9. Show Gratitude
Being grateful for what others do for you helps in strengthening the relationship with them.
Your wife made many sacrifices for you and her marriage, but instead of showing appreciation, you took her for granted. Why won’t that hurt her?
It made her efforts go unnoticed and discouraged her from doing more for you. Start appreciating your wife’s efforts and return the favors.
It will motivate both of you to put more energy and effort into your relationship and help your marriage flourish.
A thank you or love you text for the morning breakfast when you are at work can make her feel special.
10. She Deserves Special Treatment
Everyone wants to feel special in their relationship. We get attracted to people who compliment us or treat us differently in a good way.
However, special doesn’t always mean grand gestures or gifts. If you give your wife a head massage after a long hectic day, it is special enough.
Any gesture that will make her feel pampered is special.
It’s a great way of expressing your love and showing your wife how no one else can take her place in your life because she is special.
11. Take Care Of The Kids
A mother would never love a person who doesn’t care for her children. You’ll see that she is very protective and becomes rigid when it comes to her children.
For once, she can compromise her share of happiness, but it would kill her to see her children sad.
She may even resent you for not giving them proper time, love, and care.
So, it would be best to become both a responsible father and a loving husband by keeping your family happy.
12. Help Her In The House
When only one person does all the housework, it becomes difficult for them to manage everything independently.
Be it chores or handling kids, you must always do your share of work. A good husband will always split the work equally with his wife.
He won’t put all the burden of work on her.
Sharing responsibilities will prevent you both from exhausting all your energy and will give you time to take a rest or refresh so that you can devote time for each other as well.
13. Do What She Likes
Doing what your wife likes doesn’t mean becoming her puppet. It simply means that you should know what her idea of romance and love is.
Your idea of romance doesn’t need to be similar to that of your partner.
Knowing what pleases her and doing those exact things occasionally will keep her happy and make her feel loved.
Knowing her likes and dislikes will help you keep things fresh between the two of you.
14. Add Adventure To Your Dates
All relationships become monotonous after a while. You get habitual to each other and fall into a routine, reducing your partner’s interest in you.
To keep alive the enthusiasm of being with each other, you must add thrill to it.
Adventurous trips and activities like bungee jumping, paragliding, skydiving, trekking in the hills can bring the two of you closer.
It could also be something as simple as going on roller coaster rides. Think outside the box when planning your next date.
Not only will it give you a lifelong memory but also keep the spark alive in the relationship.
15. Be Supportive
We always seek support from our family, friends, and, most of all, our partner.
A lack of support in a marriage can put the person into immense mental stress, trigger anxiety, and make them cranky.
Try to be by her side and always encourage her to fly high. Motivative her in her new ventures and provide emotional support whenever needed.
It’s easy to put a person down but difficult to work with them towards success. Be open to the fact that your wife can be way smarter than you and make better decisions.
Do not let insecurities get the better of you. Doing so will make her see you with respect. If you are supportive of your wife, she may never want to lose you.
How Do You Know When Your Wife Doesn’t Love You Anymore?
To know if your wife doesn’t love you anymore, see if her actions show care even if her words suggest otherwise. Fighting doesn’t mean there’s love lost, but acting cold and aloof does. Leave the house for 3-4 days and don’t call or text. Does she reach out on her own worried about you, or she doesn’t care?
Is it possible that you are making a mountain out of a molehill, and the situation is not as grave as you think? Maybe your wife is just going through a bad phase?
Falling out of love with your spouse is something that doesn’t happen overnight.
It starts in the form of disappointments and grows with time. Before trying to win your wife’s love back, take a step back and think.
Here are some signs to confirm your doubts that your wife doesn’t love you anymore.
1. Zero Communication
A healthy relationship builds upon healthy communication between the couples. You talk about your needs, your disappointments, and your expectations.
If your wife has stopped communicating with you, it means she no longer wants to make you a part of her life.
You’ll find that she doesn’t share things with you, never includes you while making important decisions and your opinion doesn’t matter to her.
She doesn’t want you to know what’s going on with her.
If your wife has been shutting you down or ignoring you subtly whenever you try to speak to her, she has lost interest in you.
2. Constant Criticism
Lately, have you felt that no matter what you do or say, it’s enough to irk her and start a quarrel? Your wife never seems to be happy with you.
That includes even if you try to do something good for her, she finds something bad in it.
Is she is constantly criticizing you, comparing you to other men, and says you are no longer the same person you used to be?
Women usually say such things once in a while, but her frustration is apparent and recurrent.
3. Frequent Arguments
Regular arguments mean that you two are not happy about how things are going on.
If your wife is the one who always initiates fights, then it is likely she can not stand your presence anymore.
You make her angry, and she has started picking on every small thing that you do.
Things that earlier didn’t even bother her now seem to be a big deal. She is always cranky and irritated around you and acts normally otherwise.
Forget about being affectionate, does it feel she is not even compassionate?
4. She Doesn’t Care About You
Women are very giving and caring towards their partners when they are in a loving marriage.
But if your wife has stopped caring about you and never takes an interest in your life, she is no longer attracted to you.
She doesn’t make you feel special anymore and never compliments you. She has stopped paying any attention to you.
For her, you just exist. This marriage is nothing but a loveless burden to her.
5. No Physical Intimacy
Where there is no love, there is no passion.
If your wife doesn’t love you, she won’t let you near her, and even if she does, you can feel the disgust in her eyes or no interest.
She keeps minimal physical contact with you. She never initiates intimacy, and romance ceases to exist.
There is no spark left between the two of you.
6. She Has Stopped Expecting
When we are in love, we expect a lot from our partner.
And unfulfilled expectations turn into resentments with time. Your wife stopped expecting things from you because she got disappointed repeatedly.
She got tired of waiting, and she has realized that you are not going to change.
She has accepted the reality and lost all her hopes in you. Now she doesn’t ask for anything from you. There are no complaints, no arguments, nothing at all.
7. Her Behavior Has Changed Completely
You can notice all changes in her behavior towards you. The way she treats you now is different than before and is only getting worse.
You can’t feel the warmth in her anymore, and she has become a cold, detached, emotionally unavailable person.
The love that once existed is no longer there, and you can feel it.
8. She Looks Forward To Separation
The most apparent sign of lost love is your wife talking about getting a divorce.
Whether she has said so casually or while she is furious with you, it does mean the thought is present.
She feels she’s better off away from you rather than trying to make this marriage work.
She has told you that she is not happy with you. You do not want to leave a person you love and your wife wants to leave you.
Most marriages fail because of misunderstandings, unresolved issues, ego problems, and a lack of respect for each other.
You must keep all these things in check and always put effort into your marriage. Always try to keep the spark alive and make your relationship healthy and happy.
Your wife doesn’t love you because of what you’ve become lately. Make some change and work toward becoming a better version of yourself.
To make her love you again, win her heart the way you did in the beginning.