Should I Text Him If He Stopped Texting Me? | The Right Move

So, that guy you have been texting for the last few days/months has suddenly stopped texting you. And you just can’t understand why. You miss those back-to-back replies from him and would love for him to reinitiate those long texting sessions with you. So, what should be the way forward for you?

If a guy has stopped texting you, then you should only text him if he still replies to your texts properly, if he is focused on his career, if he is not a social media person, or if he stopped texting because of a fight, or if he is nervous of getting attached, or if he is in the military.

Let’s look into the situations in detail so that you do not get confused the next time in deciding if you should text him or not.

Reasons and Situations When You Should Text A Guy Even If He Stopped Texting

1. You Have No Concrete Idea About The Situation

Assumptions are the worst thing to have in such situations. We tend to assume the worst as we are feeling hurt by what is happening.

Questions like “Is he not interested in me anymore?”, “Does he hate me?”, “Am I bothering him by texting?” – all these are merely assumptions stemming from your own low self-esteem and, thus, should be discarded.

Without any concrete evidence, you should not make assumptions regarding the reason(s) behind him stopping to text.

Instead, go with an open mind and honestly communicate with him why he stopped texting. Is something bothering him? Is he facing some troubles in his life? And there can be many reasons.

Being empathetic and open-minded goes a long way.

You Have No Concrete Idea About The Situation

2. He Still Replies To You

This happens when the guy is introverted and hesitant to initiate conversations with you. Although he replies to all your texts, he seldom initiates texts from his side and waits for you to lead the conversation.

The good thing here is that he is still interested in talking with you but is just shy to show initiative.

You can take the lead here and initiate texts with him, as it is found that eventually, he may become comfortable enough to take the initiative and interact with you with greater enthusiasm.

3. He Is Focused On His Career/Studies

Ambitious people are some of the busiest ones out there, so don’t be surprised if he is being late in replying to your texts or just outright not seeing them because of his work.

When someone is focused on their work or going through a hectic part of their schedule, they may forget or choose to ignore socialization altogether. Online socialization is often the first on the cutting block.

Understand that this doesn’t mean he has lost interest in you or is not interested in talking to you.

I’ve covered these details much more in depth in my article on: What Does it Mean When a Guy Slows Down Texting You?

If you know about his work and schedule and how busy he is, then don’t overthink this, as it will only lead you to negative conclusions/assumptions.

Understanding goes a long way, and he would even appreciate you texting him even if he is unable to, as it shows that you care for him and there is no ego between you two.

4. He Is Not A Social Media Person

These are the old-school types who prefer meet-ups in the real world rather than hour-long conversations on a social media site/app.

They would seem very happy and enthusiastic about meeting you, and the time you two spend together, IRL would seem delightful.

Still, the moment anything online comes into the picture (like texting, replying to Instagram stories, sending Snaps on Snapchat, etc.), he would curl up in a ball, and you would not hear from him much.

An excellent way to proceed in such a situation is to go to calls from texts, as that provides an additional personal layer to the interaction for him.

5. He Is In The Army

Well, falling for a military guy has its own set of perks. One of the demerits is that you have to adapt to a lowered amount of interactions with him for long periods of time, even months sometimes.

Military guys often have to give up their phones during training or on a mission; thus, their means of texting you are just not available to them.

So, it’s all on you to adjust to this situation, as his texting is not in his control.

Honest communication with him would go a long way, as well as asking for some reassurance and a proposed time from which he will be available to you.

This may reduce your anxiety, and you will be free to text him whenever he is available.

6. His Physical/Mental Health Is Not Good

Health is an often overlooked factor in such situations, as we tend to be a bit selfish about it and focus too much on ourselves rather than what is affecting the other person.

People stop socializing when they are unwell, be it physically or mentally, and as stated above, online socialization is often the first one that is let go of.

It would be best if you text him in this situation, as he would feel happy that someone cares about him, and this may even help him recover faster.

Any kind of interaction from your side will make his day better, and that will deepen the bond between you two.

His Physical Mental Health Is Not Good

7. He Is Having Commitment Issues

A common reason why guys suddenly stop texting, especially when things seem to be going too well between them and the girl, is because of their underlying commitment issues.

This can stem from them not being ready for a relationship or just being nervous/apprehensive about getting attached to a person.

If things are good between you two otherwise, and you know that there can be something between you and the guy, then you should continue texting him.

If he sees sustained interest from your side, his commitment issues may subside, and things may move forward.

8. He Stopped Texting Because Of Some Misunderstanding

Misunderstandings can and do happen, and if he stopped texting because of a fight caused by a misunderstanding, then there’s no problem in you texting him to resolve the situation and get back on track with him.

Abandoning a budding friendship/relationship because of initial hiccups is not something mature adults should do.

In fact, sane minds would work towards resolving issues proactively, and that’s why we recommend you keep texting him and let the issues resolve themselves.

Reasons and Situations When You Should NOT Text A Guy If He Stopped Texting

You should not text a guy when he stops texting if he seems disinterested in you, if he is disrespectful towards you and your views, if he has rejected you, if he ghosted you, or if he uses this as a way to control you.

Let’s dive into the details of it all.

1. He Seems Disinterested

It’s a bit tricky to decipher, but if you are observant from the start, then you will notice apparent signs that the guy is just not interested in you.

Things like being online but not replying to your texts, seeing your messages but not replying (seen zoning) – these all point to him being not that interested in you and, in the worst case, treating you as a way to pass his idle time.

The guy should be equally, if not more, interested in talking to you. After all, we all deserve a certain amount of courtesy when interacting with others.

But in situations like this, your self-esteem may take a hit from the constant beating your self-respect is taking.

You deserve better, much better than being treated as someone’s 2nd option (or one of his supposed several options).

Such disregard for your time and effort should not be tolerated, and you should stop texting him and, preferably, lessen any kind of interaction with him.

2. He Is Disrespectful Towards You

This is an extension of the first reason, but with added malice from his side.

If he disregards your time and effort into texting him repeatedly, and if the few replies he gives a vibe of nonchalance towards the things you talk about, then you have to understand that you are being disrespected by him.

Especially when his replies continuously disparage your viewpoints, and if he always tends to look down on you through his responses, then the lack of respect towards you is pretty apparent.

Cut such people off from your life, as they would do nothing but drain your energy and, at best, would just treat you as a momentary source of entertainment.

3. He Has Expressed He Doesn’t Want You

Ah, the bitter pill of rejection. We all hate it, don’t we? But it’s something that every human faces and is quite normal to experience in one’s life.

If the guy has clearly expressed he is not interested in you the same way you are in him, then it’s time to swallow the pill, accept things for what they are and stop texting him.

You don’t want to become the girl who intrudes in the guy’s life unwanted, and such behavior is often cited by people who are termed as “creeps” or “desperate”.

And we both know that you don’t want to be labeled as such by him and his friends, don’t we? So chin up, take the rejection head-on and move forward in your life.

He Has Expressed He Doesn't Want You

4. He Only Talks With You When He Wants Something

The title should be enough for this. Such guys only text you or reply to your texts/stories when they need something.

That something can be anything, be it some help for their assignments or help for their sexual needs. You know these boys.

After months of not replying to you, they suddenly text you on a random day (or night) and begin buttering you up about how they have “missed” all these days but couldn’t text because of some “personal problems”.

And eventually, their texts devolve into sexual topics, and their real face emerges. In colloquial language, such interactions are called “booty calls”.

Needless to say, such selfishness shouldn’t be something that should be present in your life, and you should not text them. Unless, of course, that’s the thing you want, then go ahead.

We won’t judge you. But know the kind of situation (and guy) you are getting into, and then proceed as you may like.

5. He Repeatedly Stops Texting You To Control You

Beware of such behavior, as it can get quite toxic if you let it slide initially. In such situations, the guy stops texting you whenever you two are having a fight or a disagreement.

Now, doing this once or twice is fine. We all are humans, and we can be upset with someone and hence, not want to talk to them. But such guys use this as a tactic to control you.

These guys are your typical toxic, controlling, jealous, and hyper-sensitive manchildren, and no amount of pleasing them will get them to trust you completely.

They may say things like “I will only text you once you block <insert other person’s name>”, or “I will reply to you once you agree it was your mistake,” and such childish ultimatums which they repeatedly use in a toxic way to control your behavior according to their whims.

We don’t say it often but RUN! Run away from such guys, or their toxicity can make your life hell.

6. He Ghosted You

Ghosting is the act of withdrawing all forms of communication with someone suddenly and providing no explanation as to the reason behind such a drastic move.

Being ghosted can give you a lot of anxiety, especially because of the lack of explanation from the other side. If the guy has ghosted you, then his unwillingness to communicate is quite apparent.

In fact, he didn’t even consider how you would feel once he ghosts you.

It may seem harsh, but we recommend you not to text the guy if he has ghosted you. The most you can do is text him once and ask why he is doing this, but just once.

You cannot and should not waste your energy over someone who is not sensitive enough about your feelings to do basic communication with you.


Ultimately, what matters the most is your own wish. But as suggested above, you should be wary of some situations so that you don’t ruin something good or don’t get into something that would ruin you.

We hope the article helped you by giving you more perspectives!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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