Definite Signs Your Girlfriend Is Using You | What To Do?

Prolonged exploitation by your girlfriend will cost you time, your resources and will leave you emotionally drained. Stop her before the damage becomes irreparable.

The best sign to know your girlfriend is using you is by gauging whether she treats you equally in this relationship? If she expects you to do favors related to money, being available, and emotional support, does she reciprocate when you need her? An imbalance shows your girlfriend is a parasite.

If it feels that something is off, then maybe it feels like because something is actually off.

The only way to ensure that a girl isn’t using you but genuinely loves you is to create an irresistible attraction for you in her. Check out The Obsession Method to learn what to do!

Before We Begin

Trust your gut instincts. If you felt the need to type “How to know if my girlfriend is using me?” or something similar on the internet, chances are she is using you.

Instincts kick in for a reason and usually, they are not wrong.

The moment a doubt creeps up in your mind, take a step back and try to see the situation objectively without involving your emotions.

Emotions will tell you to let things be and oversee the red flags, but a logical approach will save you from a lot of harm down the road.

In this article, we are going to talk about how to identify whether your girlfriend is using you or not and what to do if she is.

Let’s investgate this curious case of “Is she using me?” and give you some tips to improve your situation.

By Willing To Learn You Are Willing To Improve

Why did we create this article for you? Because we believe the by reading this article you want to get better at love.

You want to find a true connection, and since you commit to educating yourself on love and how to be better at it, we commit to you.

Man holding a small wooden cube with 'C' at the bottom and 'G' in the front to spell 'Change' and 'Chance'

Women can be pretty manipulative, right? But guess what? It is not only women as we can all be pretty manipulative. It’s human nature.

Some do it while fully knowing it while the righteous ones immediately correct their ways.

For those of us who are being manipulated, we can’t control such people from appearing out of nowhere.

These people will continue to show up in our lives as it is not under our control. But we can weed out such people, stop them in their tracks, and say goodbye to them.

If you want to turn this situation on it’s head and make sure your girlfriend starts respecting you, some strong changes need to be made.

Signs Your Girlfriend Is Using You

1. She Treats You Like An ATM

You have to pay for everything, and it has to go her way all the time.

You should pay if you have asked a woman out on a date, but if you continue seeing her past the third date, she has to contribute in some way.

And this girl is not even your date. She is your girlfriend!

TABLE: Chances Of People Entering A Relationship Past The 5th Date Based On Paying Habits

Man Always PaidWoman Always PaidSplit/Took Turns
Source: Based on a survey done by on 150 men and 150 women sharing their past experiences.

If she orders the most expensive glass of champagne or wants the most expensive bottle of wine, the most expensive dish on the menu all the time, she likes luxury and not you.

She will demand valuable things and probably won’t even thank you. That is the key. You want to make sure that she reciprocates kindly?

Give her the option to return the favor or the gesture. It doesn’t mean that she has to take you out on these fine dining experiences that you arrange.

But you have to challenge her to do something for you. Ask her to show what she would like to do for you.

A woman who’s using you won’t care enough to show you the things that she would like to do for you because that takes time.

It takes effort, and it takes a lot of thought. It is an excellent way in which you can challenge a woman.

you have to pay for everything

2. You Aren’t Sure What She Feels

She doesn’t want to talk about her family or her friends. She won’t talk about her emotions and definitely not about her feelings.

You might ask her, “Where do you think this is going?” or “How do you feel about me?”.

“I don’t know, let’s just see where it goes.” or “Maybe time will tell, I’m not too sure.” or “This is all new to me, and I like to take things slow” are some of her classic escapist responses.

She continues to avoid this conversation like one would avoid the plague.

It can be very frustrating for you to be with such a woman because, in the long run, you are going to feel emotionally exhausted.

A word of advice here is that it is possible you might be dating a woman who doesn’t like to overthink about what is going on and is someone who instead wants to go with the flow.

Still, such a woman’s responses will not feel vague, unlike a woman who is using you.

The ‘go with the flow girl’ might not want anything serious early on, but she will make it pretty clear to you instead of beating around the bush and leading you to nowhere.

3. You Find Her Flirting With Other Men

This one is quite probable when she isn’t attracted to you and keeping you around only to derive benefits.

Those benefits can be the sole reason why she sticks to you. And in the process she doesn’t leave a chance to stick it up to you.

Hard fact, she isn’t attracted to you. And that is one of the biggest reasons she has the audacity to openly flirt with other men and sometimes does it in front of you.

The question you need to ask yourself is why are you still putting up with this sort of behavior? Are you scared that this is the best you can get and will never get a woman after this?

Stop making a fool of yourself in front of her and others. Probably your friends and family do talk behind your back about what a wuss you are for letting her do this to you.

The next time you find her crossing an acceptable boundary, give her an ultimatum. And be brave enough to dump her if she crosses that boundary again.

In fact we suggest that you reciprocate by working on your flirting skills with other women to send a clear message that what she is doing isn’t going unnoticed.

If she threatens to leave, it’s an added benefit. And how can you attract these hot, single, supermodel type girls that will actually bother your girlfriend?

These women seem way out of your league, right? We recommend you definitely check out this breakthrough program called The Obsession Method.

It is a step by step program to transform you into an alpha male and suck out the wuss within you that repels beautiful girls like anything.

If you want to stop chasing your girlfriend and make her chase you instead, this guide is exactly what you need.

But don’t do it just to make your girlfriend jealous. Remember, the whole point is to make you a better man.

4. She Only Does Things That Are Convenient and Pleasing To Her

That’s why we mentioned in sign number 1 on how to challenge the woman to show what they would like to do for you.

Let her plan it out too because this is how you can really cultivate bonds. A woman who’s using you would only want to do things that are convenient and pleasing for her.

She has something to gain, and that’s what she’s in this relationship for. Pay attention to her actions rather than what she is saying. Actions speak louder than words.

Let us give you an example of how she can be doing this.

Say if you invite her out for a drink at the bar, she’ll always say something like, “Are you sure you want to go over there?” or “That place is not good enough.”

She would always suggest an alternative and say, “No, I’d rather go to XYZ place.” Her suggestion is either more expensive or maybe it’s not intimate enough.

It’s where she won’t have to focus only on you and will perhaps get a chance to mingle with other people and check them out.

If you want to go to a particular place, and you do see her doing this, challenge her and say, “No, I want to go here.”

See how she responds and if she still doesn’t cave in, it’s not a good sign.

she only does things that are pleasing to her

5. She Doesn’t Care Enough To Know About You

She might not even know your mother’s name. Ask this girl what’s your mother’s name. Ask her questions about the conversations that you had previously in the past.

We don’t mean that you should pop the question randomly. Try to use it in games like where you have to answer questions related to each other.

But you don’t want to ask about the things that you talked about two hours ago.

Ask her questions like “Remember I told you about my siblings?” or give her your phone while eating and say something like, “Could you please dial my father’s number? My hands are occupied”.

Obviously, your dad’s number in your phone shouldn’t be saved as ‘dad’. Try to save it using his real name or, even better, what everyone lovingly calls him.

You want to see if she has been paying attention to you. A woman that does not want to know about you will always pretend like she’s listening.

They are the kind who lets what you say go into one ear and chucks it out from the other. But you can challenge her by asking her those questions and see how she fares.

Ask her why she’s not able to remember whatever you tell her, and she’ll be caught off guard like a deer in the headlights.

6. She’s Never With You Mentally

Pay close attention to her body language. Is she looking around? Is she looking at other people more than she looks at you? Do her eyes wander when you talk to her?

Has she been at the dinner table saying things like “Mhm mhm,” “Yeah,” “Okay,” most of the time?

Has she been looking at her phone too often? You don’t want a woman that is not interested in you.

You might be attracted to her, but at the end of the day, you don’t deserve someone like that.

There are so many quality women out there that can give you the love and attention that you deserve.

she is never with you mentally

7. Just There For Physical Needs

You might be sleeping together, and while it means much more to you, for her, it is next to nothing.

Maybe that’s happening right now, and she might be using you for physical satisfaction only.

The way that you can figure this out is by the things that we’ve talked about in the signs before. Also, she doesn’t stay over, and she isn’t there in the mornings with you.

She often leaves right away or waits until you fall asleep to do so. Whatever you do, you can’t seem to build that emotional connection with her.

Now, we want to be clear here when we say this because a woman about whom you feel is using you for a physical relationship, might just be emotionally unavailable currently.

Once this phase passes, things will look brighter. They’re not going to be able to show their emotions to you if something bothers them.

But it is a sign of sure-shot trouble if this ‘phase’ never seems to pass.

And if you’re looking for a relationship or you’re looking for something sustainable, there is a limit to how much you can wait. A few weeks or months is okay but a few years is not.

8. You Feel Humiliated In The Relationship

To hold the cards in this relationship and assert power, she pushes you around. And she does it to an extent where she humiliates you.

Be it a little mistake from your side, a big one or no mistake of yours, the outcome is almost similar, i.e. you being humiliated to the core.

It can be along the lines of how she deserves better than you, how you have made her life a living hell, or even how it would have been better had you two not met.

How is she using you? By feeding on your emotions to boost her own ego.

By making you look unworthy and inferior in comparison to her, she derives satisfaction.

The satisfaction that keeps her going and the satisfaction of how she is better than a man. This too is a form of pseudo feminist behavior.

A true feminist sees people of all genders, religions, cast, creeds, races, and partner preferences to be equal. By making herself look superior, she hides her own flaws.

9. You Live In A Constant Fear Of Being Dumped

Before we even begin on this one, let us make it very clear that we are not talking about your insecurities here.

Even if you are someone who doesn’t behave like an obsessive, insecure boyfriend, the fact that you still live in constant fear of being dumped needs to be addressed.

Does she often threaten to break up? Does she use this threat to get what she wants? If these sound familiar then you are being used.

The fact that you find this relationship valuable enough to keep is being blatantly misused. Be wary of the fact. Stop right there! Don’t be her bathroom mat.

Stop being someone she can walk all over and still come back.

The fact that you were able to attract this woman means that women find you attractive and you can get a much better one than this manipulative and emotional player.

Rethink your decision and don’t back off from calling out her abusive behavior.

women want a man who is not a pushover

What Do Women Want In A Man?

Women want some spine in their man. They want someone who is not a pushover and dares to disagree with her or call her out. Women adore a man who can call a spade a spade without honey coating the hard facts.

Being an alpha male is not about trying to control things. Power in a relationship lies with the one who needs it the least.

You are different from 95% of the men out there because you’re making efforts.

Efforts that may be as small as reading this article and as big as wondering whether your girlfriend is using you. So many men don’t do it.

If you find yourself in a situation where you like a woman, and she might be using you, remember what we have discussed so far.

Also, you can really find out a lot about a woman when you need her.

When you are in trouble, you find out the best friendships and relationships.

When you are in pain, you find out who are the people that come through, and those who avoid your path. This is something you should never forget.

Remember, you don’t need a woman to validate you. You need a woman to enhance your life and to share a fantastic opportunity and build a future with.


Now we want to hear your story. Why do you feel your girlfriend may be using you? And how do you plan on handling it?

Will you be saying goodbye to her permanently or will you get overly emotional and let her torment you more?

Tell us in the comments below!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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