Not every couple who is in love is meant to stay together forever. Being in a relationship that we know is going nowhere exhausts us emotionally.
If you love each other but cannot be together, the best approach is to find a feasible and practical solution that works in the long run. It can be easy to be overly emotional at this time, but overwhelming emotions often lead to wrong decisions. Do not try to emulate what you see in the movies.
Steps or actions taken with a cluttered mind only makes the matter worse.
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Before We Begin
Every day the thought of not being with the person you love bothers you, yet, here you are giving everything to this relationship.
Everyone dreams of a happy ending. What if there isn’t one in your story? You will have to say goodbye to your love at some point in time in the future.
Is there any way out of this? Let’s try to figure out if it is better to find a way to stay together or part ways.
Possible Reasons & Their Solutions
1. We Can’t Be Together Because Of Religious Differences
Interfaith marriages are not favored in many religions across the world. It is considered a sin.
Also, it is believed that two people from different religions can not make their relationship work as it can cause serious complications.
It becomes difficult to get family and friends on board if they don’t share similar beliefs as you two.
Even if somehow you manage to overcome these difficulties, what would you do when there are conflicts within your relationship because of religious differences?
People from two different religious backgrounds can manage to find love in each other because love knows no religion.
TABLE: Level Of Marriage Satisfaction Reported By Different Individuals Of Various Faiths
|Faith||Same Faith Marriage||Interfaith Marriage|
Note: Only 6 people reported faith to be a cause of dispute in their marriages or divorce.
Things Will Settle Down Eventually
Problems and conflicts are bound to happen in every relationship irrespective of the religion. You love the person no matter what their faith is.
Now you have to decide whether you want to stay strong and fight every problem together with the love of your life?
Or you want to quit and spend the rest of your life thinking that you should have taken a firm step?
Respect each other’s opinions and discuss things properly without avoiding the worst case scenarios. Work towards being together but be prepared for separation.
It is tough to find someone who loves you, respects you, understands you, and cares about you.
If your partner does all these and you know in your heart that they are ‘the one’, then don’t let them go because things will settle down eventually.
But what’s gone will never come back.
2. We Can’t Be Together Because Of Family Issues
We all love our families, but what if we have to fight them for our love.
It is common for families to not support your relationship because they always want the best for you.
It doesn’t mean that you have a terrible choice, but maybe in your parents’ eyes, they are not the ones best suited for you.
Or it is also possible that they are just stubborn because of their own selfish needs. It becomes challenging for you to handle all those frequent arguments.
All the disagreements, the pressure they put on you to leave the person you love.
All such things ultimately lead to stress, an outburst of anger, violence, and emotional breakdown, and you may even feel like ending this once and for all.
Deal With Your Family First
First of all, you need to be very calm and patient when dealing with your family. After all, they are the ones who stood with you in all thick and thins.
Talk to them honestly about your partner and the choice you’ve made for your life. Make them see that this is what you really want.
Show them the positive sides of your partner and how your partner makes you happy. It will be really tough but you have to stand strong and firm.
Things will take time but they will come around the idea and give you both their blessings.
And if they don’t agree at all and force you to leave your love of life, then you are the better judge of what’s best for you.
If still going forward is in your mind, then consider everything carefully. If you do this, your families may or may not forgive you at all.
They are your family at the end of the day, so choose wisely.
3. We Can’t Be Together Because My Partner Is Married
We can fall in love with anyone despite their relationship status.
There are many possibilities that you might fall for each other despite either one or both of you being with someone else or being married.
Maybe it is you who got involved with someone irrespective of knowing that they are already married.
It is also possible that the person hid their marriage from you due to the fear of losing you, and now you want to know what to do.
You both love each other but are not sure if it is morally right or wrong.
Be Exclusive To Each Other
Whether you knew about your partner being married or not, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that your partner is married to someone else.
There is a third person in the equation who may not even know about all this.
A person who is being cheated on by your partner and somewhere you were or are being cheated on as well.
We are sure that you don’t want to be the reason behind ruining someone’s life. If your partner can cheat on them, they won’t even hesitate once to do the same with you.
It would be best for both of you to make amends with the situation and move on with your own lives unless they are ready to end things with their current partner completely.
4. We Can’t Be Together Because Of Different Life Goals
Having different life goals is a widespread issue that any couple can face because we all want different things from life. It is not always like you want the same things.
Maybe your partner wants to marry, but you want some more time. Or there can be issues like you want to live in the same city, and your partner wants a fresh start.
Does it mean you need to break things off?
“We have different life goals” can sound pretty scary at this point in time, but it is not something over which you need to leave each other and forget about being together.
Know Your Priorities And Communicate
Wanting different things from life can mean that one partner has to compromise at some point or another.
But there is always something that can be done to make a relationship work. All you need to decide upon are your priorities.
If you genuinely want to be with your love, then a little compromise here and there should not matter.
But you should be happy doing so because if it leads to you feeling uncomfortable then what is the use of being in that relationship?
Proper communication can solve any disagreement. Try to be encouraging and understanding. Be a part of their dreams and rejoice in each other’s victory.
5. We Can’t Be Together Because I Am Not Happy
If you find yourself complaining all the time, it can mean that you are not happy with the way things are working in your relationship.
Your partner doesn’t make you feel good about you. You are the one who is always putting all the effort, and they don’t even care.
Mostly, you feel like staying alone because you enjoy it. Your partner doesn’t seem to be the same person they were before.
A lot of thoughts come to your head, and you start to detach yourself from your partner. You become ignorant of all other things which are right in your relationship.
A lack of communication leads to complications and misunderstandings. At the end of the day if you are not happy with someone, what’s the point of being with them?
Ask yourselves these to questions:
i) Are you happy to stay with them for the next ten years?
ii) If not, are you really in love with them or just used to their presence in your life?
Resolve Your Issues First
There is no such thing as happily ever after. No one can stay happy forever. In every relationship, there are conflicts, disagreements, arguments, and fights that make things ugly.
But that doesn’t mean this situation is going to stay forever.
If you feel that you are not happy, then try to find out the reasons and put effort into making things right between you two.
Talk things out and try to see things from your partner’s perspective.
Small issues are not worth quitting over a relationship in which you’ve invested so much of your time, energy, and emotions.
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But still, if you keep finding yourself unhappy, then sure as hell leave them because the whole purpose of being with someone is to feel happy and to feel loved.
6. We Can’t Be Together Because My Partner Is Violent
Violence comes in many forms. It can be anything ranging from physical, verbal, social, mental, or emotional.
It’s important to recognize it at the initial level before it gets out of control and becomes dangerous for you.
When you are in an unhealthy relationship, your partner blinds you because you believe anything and everything they say because you are in love with them.
If your partner is always right and you are the one who is guilty all the time, then you should know that you’re being manipulated.
There will be times where they will make you feel on top of the world and so loved, but that doesn’t change the fact that they are a threat to you.
Don’t be so much in love that you may ignore every red flag out there.
End It Immediately And Run
Whatever the form of abuse, whether it’s physical, verbal, emotional, social, is intolerable.
We suggest ending this kind of relationship safely as soon as possible for your safety. After you are done dealing with this freak, don’t try to stay in contact with your partner.
Do not give them a second chance because they will try everything to come back in your life and make it a living hell.
Report to the authorities about this abuse you’ve gone through if there is a basis for legal action and seek some legal help.
It would help to get in touch with your loved ones and try to reconnect with life because this is something you need right now.
Do things that you enjoy doing, treat yourself with love, and take your life back into your own hands.
7. We Can’t Be Together Because My Partner Is Relocating
Relationships are very complex. When you hate doing something, you still might want to do it because it makes your partner happy. This situation is almost similar.
Your partner wants to move to a different city to pursue their dreams, and you don’t want them to go, but you can’t ask them to stay either.
On top of that, asking them to choose between you and their dreams would be outright wrong because you should be supporting and encouraging them.
We understand that the thought of your partner leaving is bugging you.
“What will happen to our relationship?”, “Where is this going?”, and “How will I manage without them?” are some of the questions you might wonder about.
You want to decide your future as a couple but are afraid of breaking up with your partner.
Plan For The Times Ahead
You can not decide this all by yourself. You should talk to your partner and see what they have in mind because you are both equally involved in this relationship.
If you are both okay with the idea of you moving along with them, then that’s the best thing to do.
One thing could be to be in a long-distance relationship, but mind that it takes a lot of effort to keep such a relationship alive.
Most of the times they end eventually, and often on an ugly note. You both can decide to end it then and there and move on in life. If you can’t do it right now, then it’s fine too.
Wait till the day comes when your partner finally moves out and spend some memorable time with your loved one till then.
8. We Can’t Be Together Because Of Difference Of Opinions
In every relationship, couples face the problem of having different opinions.
Sometimes the issues are tiny, which are easy to handle, but occasionally significant differences in ideology make you want to quit.
It won’t always be like you’ll both be on the same page though, and it is completely fine.
Having different ideologies, interests, and opinions doesn’t mean you should leave your partner because there are disagreements and conflicts, which becomes hard to resolve.
Instead, try to cope up with the problem in a healthy way.
Your 6 Might Be 9 To Them
If you are thinking of ending things with your partner, then most probably, you are at a stage where it looks impossible to find a solution to your differences.
Until and unless the opinions of your partner are ethically and outright wrong, there is always a workaround.
You just need to find out what works best for you. You need to understand and respect each other’s beliefs.
Compromise is a solution sometimes, but it should be done if you won’t hold grudges later on. Reason and try to see things from your partner’s perspective too.
It is good to have a different point of view. It can enhance your relationship and gives you a different view of things, but you should be open-minded enough to see that.
9. We Can’t Be Together Because My Partner Cheated
Being cheated on by your partner is the most heart-crushing feeling in the world.
Knowing that your partner is involved with someone else while you are still in their life can turn your life upside down.
Whatever be the circumstances and reasons, nothing can justify cheating. It makes you start questioning yourself and your efforts in the relationship.
However, you should remember that someone cheating on you is not your fault or a fault in you. It is they who are ‘a cheater’.
They chose to hurt your feelings for their selfish desires. Even if you gave your everything in that relationship, their urge for more wouldn’t be satisfied.
A cheater will always look outside the boundaries for new experiences.
Throw Them Out Of Your Life
The only thing to do, if you get cheated on by your partner, is to leave them then and there.
Maybe they will apologize for what they did and give you many reasons why they did so.
They might try to melt your heart, and you would want to provide them with the so-called ‘second chance’.
Never give them a second chance to walk over you again because once a cheater is always a cheater.
A person who did it once will do it again without batting an eyelid. Go as far away as possible from this person, and stop all contact.
Take time to grieve if you feel like and analyze your mistakes. Try not to repeat them in the future.
Treat yourself with a better person instead because you should always love yourself first. Then only someone else can love you.
10. We Can’t Be Together Because My Partner Isn’t Supportive
Being in a relationship has its perks. Our partner makes us feel loved, and they care for us, they understand us.
More often than not, they always want the best for us. They are there in our tough times, and along with it comes the unconditional support.
Sometimes when the whole world is against you, that one person you love standing by your side gives you the spirit to fight anything that comes in your way.
What if that partner is the one who is always against you? The one who stops you from doing things that you want to do.
A person who doesn’t understand you at all. A person who doesn’t see things from your point of view and force their decisions on you. What do to in such a situation?
Are Your Demands Justified?
It is essential to understand whether you are expecting your partner to support you on something that could turn out to be harmful.
In such a case you need to rethink the situation. But if otherwise, then talk to them honestly about what you want and listen to what they have to say.
Try to be objective and understand their reason for not supporting you. It is quite possible that you want childish things.
On the other hand, if your partner is not supportive of your dreams, your interest, etc., then you must consider rethinking about where your relationship is taking you.
Be in a relationship where you can fly high, and not suffocate to death with each step you take instead.
11. We Can’t Be Together Because Of Large Age Gap
Significant age gaps are often frowned upon in society.
There might be valid reasons for those, such as stark differences in maturity, opinions, and future health issues if one partner is getting old, but most of it is purely due to taboo.
Hypocrisy also shows its face when older male and younger female relationships are given the nod, but older females and younger males are scoffed at.
In a nutshell, dating an older man is seen as the woman wanting someone mature, falling for the salt and pepper look, etc.
Whereas dating an older woman must be cool for the man because these women are unsatisfied and they want a stud, right?
If the female is younger, she becomes the gold digger, and if she’s older, she becomes the cougar.
You can fight off the general masses’ sneering looks and comments, but what if your own family and friends do not support you?
Sadly, in most cases, they aren’t too fond of the idea.
Love Knows No Age
Love doesn’t recognize a lot of boundaries, and one of them is age.
Both you and the person you’re with knew about the glaring age difference quite well when things started.
If at any point in time, one of you thinks that it’s okay to leave the other because age difference will complicate matters, you’re clearly influenced by the opinions of those around you.
Yeah, you’re allowed to change your mind and leave. But if you’re the one being dumped, think about the situation like this.
If it is so easy to influence your partner, what’s the guarantee that they will stick to you when tomorrow they may change their opinion about something else.
A person who wants to stick to you will do so despite a thousand reasons suggesting otherwise.
And the one who wants to get rid of you will find that one reason to end things from seven layers beneath the earth, even if there are a thousand reasons to keep the relationship going.
Aren’t you better off with someone else?
Falling in love with the perfect person is not in our hands, but whether we want to stay with that person or leave is a choice we can make.
If you love a person enough to stick together, try to handle the problem together as a team rather than playing against each other.
Don’t quit on your love easily because genuine love is rare and hard to find.
Now it’s time for you to tell us what your situation is and how you plan on solving it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.