What Does It Mean When A Guy Slows Down Texting You? | Fading Interest

There is nothing worse than feeling unwanted by someone you have been talking to fondly. While this can break your heart, knowing the core reasons and what it actually means is very important.

When a guy slows down texting you, it means he is trying to maintain a distance. He may be doing it on purpose or due to being genuinely occupied. It’s crucial to know the root cause and act accordingly. Understanding the pattern of the change can help you rekindle the spark.

This situation can leave you frustrated and deserted for a long time. In addition, it is often confusing to read between the lines. Let’s focus on learning about the root cause and also read about a few ways to handle the slow fade.

Pro-tip: Instead of trapping yourself in the eternal loop of worrying over why isn’t he texting you, a better approach is to create conditions where he cannot help but feel attracted to you.

This will make him want to text you and talk to you. Read His Secret Obsession to know how.

What Does It Mean When A Guy Stops Texting Slowly?

A guy gradually disappearing from your life can leave you confused, full of uncertainty, and emotionally insecure.

It gets difficult for the brain to figure out what’s happening.

Before jumping to rash conclusions, relax, sit back, take a sip of water and objectively analyze the entire situation.

These points will help you gauge the situation, making it easier to resolve the issue using the tips in the later section.

1. He Might Be Genuinely Occupied

It’s highly possible he is genuinely occupied with work and cannot take a break to talk to you.

He may be going through a busy work period with crazy deadlines that require his undivided attention.

Sure, he might be online and still not replying to your texts.

But the only reason he’s online could be work-related communication with a co-worker or a client.

Also, some people need complete isolation and focus while they are working.

He might be waiting for things to get less hectic before he can text you again and expects you to understand the same.

He Might Be Genuinely Occupied

2. Going Through A Bad Phase

When a person is not in the right frame of mind, they often do not feel like talking to someone.

He might be going through a bad phase in his life and needs some space to deal with it.

Moreover, guys often have a harder time talking about their feelings than girls.

So, your guy might be struggling to express himself, and he doesn’t want to burden you with his problems.

Trying to fight his battles alone, he may not think about anything else and feels lost, which might stop him from staying in touch with you like before.

3. Seeing Someone Else Currently

Sometimes when the frequency of texts reduces, it can signal that you are not the only person in his life.

For example, the guy might be looking for a fling or else have someone else to flirt with.

In this case, you are just another option for him, and he doesn’t feel the need to prioritize you. This might be hurtful but happens quite frequently.

But if you, too, have not been texting him constantly and are not exclusive either, you can’t really complain.

4. You Have Offended Him

While texting, there is a huge chance you might have offended him, or he might have misinterpreted your messages.

You might have unintentionally hurt his feelings, and he wants you to realize it on your own.

He doesn’t want to be the first one to address the issue because he thinks doing so can make him sound whiny.

He might need a little space to compose himself and think about it, so cut him some slack and be patient.

5. He Is Testing You

It may be difficult for him to judge your level of interest during the initial stages.

Thus, he might be holding back from texting to be sure whether you notice his absence or not.

This behavior may be intentional to see if you’ll initiate the conversation and make efforts to keep it alive.

He wants to know how deep your feelings run for him and wants to make sure that this is not a one-sided thing.

He just wants some reassurance, and your actions will surely tell him a lot more than your words ever will.

6. The Conversations Have Become Dull

Do you remember all those butterflies you get when you initially start talking to someone you like? That is because it’s an inexplicable experience.

There’s so much to know and talk about. But these conversations can become monotonous and flat, making him a dry texter in no time.

He might avoid texting or calling you to save himself from long, dull conversations.

Not feeling invested in the conversation anymore, he might want to spend his time doing something better and more valuable.

7. He Has Become More Comfortable

After the initial chase is over, people often go back to their natural routine.

Now that he knows you better, he doesn’t feel the constant need to text you all the time.

Knowing that you are interested in him, he may feel more secure about you and might expect you to understand even if he doesn’t respond to your texts instantly.

It is okay for things to slow down over time as you get more comfortable with each other and become more confident about your bond.

He Has Become More Comfortable

8. Doesn’t Want To Interfere Much

When a guy doesn’t text you back, it could be because he does not want to bother you too much and appear pushy.

He might be interested in you, but he doesn’t want to overwhelm you with his texts and come off as needy.

Maybe he feels that he is always the first one to text, and you might lose interest in him. So he wants to give you some space.

As much as he likes talking to you, he surely doesn’t want you to categorize him as just another guy interested in her.

9. Focusing On One Thing At A Time

He might be someone who doesn’t believe in multi-tasking and likes to focus on one thing at a time.

He is the kind of person who wants to give all his attention to the thing he is prioritizing at the moment.

It could be spending time with family, learning something new, talking to you, or meeting deadlines at work.

He tends to be very focused and does not like to mix things up. He has some other priorities now, but he’ll focus on you again as soon as he’s done with them.

10. He Is Taking You For Granted

If you often text him first, you might appear too desperate to him.

This relaxes him a bit, knowing that he doesn’t need to make a magnanimous effort to keep you around.

Although he has time to text you first, he simply doesn’t because he knows you’ll reach out to him constantly.

Admit it or not, the bitter truth is that this guy takes you for granted.

Maybe he likes you, but he is assuming that you’ll always be available for him, giving him no reason to put in any effort.

11. Trying To Play Hard To Get

Some guys like to be mysterious so they can grab more attention. He might stop texting you for a couple of weeks just to make sure that you want him even more.

Although he is doing this deliberately, he will always respond to you now and then so that you come back for more.

This may sound exciting, but this is a very immature behavior akin to playing childish mind games.

As mentioned in the article The Efficacy of Playing Hard-To-Get:

It has often been suggested that individuals will prefer dates who play “hard-to-get.” Two experiments were conducted to test the hypothesis that teen-agers will assume that a hard-to-get individual is more socially desirable than a person whose high regard is easily obtained. This hypothesis was not confirmed; the results were opposite to those predicted. It appears that playing hard-to-get is not an effective strategy for increasing one’s status.

Elaine Walster, G. William Walster & Ellen Berscheid (1971) The Efficacy of Playing Hard-To-Get, The Journal of Experimental Education, 39:3, 73-77.

Perhaps, no one told him that giving out a lot of mixed signals leads to misinterpretations.

12. Finds You Too Chatty And Inquisitive

Texting and questioning him non-stop can feel overwhelming to him.

Although these questions may be directed to get to know him better, he might end up feeling suffocated.

Perhaps he takes time to open up and does not like sharing all the details of his life initially.

He might feel your questions are invading his privacy, thus making him avoid your texts altogether.

13. Something More Exciting Is Going On In His Life

There may be something new, engaging, and exciting going on in his life that keeps him away from his phone.

For example, he may be out with friends on a vacation or a business trip where he cannot spend much time on the phone.

With so many things happening around, he might just want to unwind by detaching from his phone for a while.

Or, it’s possible he is spending some much-needed ‘me time’ to renew his energy which also involves focusing on the real world over the digital one.

Something More Exciting Is Going On In His Life

14. He Is Not Interested In You

This is what you have been dreading all this while.

Unfortunately, one of the most probable reasons why he is not texting much is his lack of interest in you.

This can be hurtful when you have spent so much time getting to know him. If he was interested in taking things further, he wouldn’t have left you hanging.

Additional clues are if he replies are mostly one-word answers and he sometimes even avoids you even if he is online.

This can be discouraging. Perhaps it’s time to bid goodbye and move on?

Pro-tip: Instead of trapping yourself in the eternal loop of worrying over why isn’t he texting you, a better approach is to create conditions where he cannot help but feel attracted to you.

This will make him want to text you and talk to you. Read His Secret Obsession to know how.

How To Respond To A Guy Pulling A Slow Fade?

To respond to a guy pulling a slow fade, figure out if he’s doing it on purpose or he is just unable to talk much. If he’s playing hard to get, you’re better off without him. An evergreen way to deal with the slow fade is working on being attractive and the best possible version of yourself.

Now, the question is should you continue texting him or ignore him completely? You may be struggling to find answers.

Remember, your response can make or break the situation. So, it is vital to handle a slow fade maturely.

These steps will guide you through and help you take control of the situation without drifting apart.

1. Be A Busy Bee

Waiting for his texts will drive you crazy. You should start focusing on yourself instead of spending days crying over him.

No matter how much you want to talk to him, do not text him again as this will make you appear desperate and needy, which is not attractive at all.

Try to find ways to remain busy, hang out with friends, start binge-watching something interesting, or learn something new.

Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off him. Our guide on ‘How To Get Someone Off Your Mind?‘ will help you a ton.

Don’t be dependent on his texts for your happiness. Learn to put your self-respect above everything else.

2. Be Patient And Give Him Space

If he is actually busy and trying to focus on something important, then bombarding him with texts is one of the worst things you can do.

To deal with him, you need to be very understanding and, most of all, patient.

Resist the urge to text him and make sure you are giving him breathing space to resolve his thoughts.

Instead of nagging, keep yourself busy with your own life to minimize the chances of doing something rash.

Always remember, giving your guy his space can actually draw him closer to you.

3. Reach Out To Him Directly

If the slow texting goes on for around 3-4 weeks, a direct conversation can answer all the questions running through your mind and save you a lot of headache.

Instead of reading between the lines, reach out to him, check if everything is okay, and let him know how you feel about what’s going on.

Then, wait and see how he reacts. If he keeps the conversation going, he is clearly interested, but if he is still not reciprocating, simply back off.

You would be wasting a lot of time sticking around a guy who clearly doesn’t want you.

4. Try To Re-Ignite The Flame Of Attraction

A flirty bond usually starts on a very rosy note but can hit the plateau of boredom.

As you get to know each other more, the conversations can go from interesting to monotonous.

But with a little effort, you should be able to revive the spark and get him to text you again. So don’t always be available to talk.

Give him some time to miss you. Try new techniques of flirting on text. Know that flirting is equal to teasing.

Fearlessly engage in some one-on-one banter.

Also, make sure the next time you talk to him, you have something fascinating to share rather than the same old “How are you? I am fine.”

To do this in the best possible way, read our article on: How To Text A Guy You Like? | The Definitive Guide

Try To Re-Ignite The Flame Of Attraction

5. Working On Becoming More Attractive

There is a huge caveat to this suggestion. Do not try to be attractive for him. Be an attractive person in general.

If you face a situation where he doesn’t text you back, the last thing you should do is appear needy.

His losing attraction for you can be tough to deal with, but you can always try to regain it back and make him fall for you.

Instead of thinking about him all day long, give yourself time and attention and work on your weaknesses.

This includes getting in the best possible shape, a nice grooming routine, taking care of your diet, and being a well-read person.

Just looking hot will not serve you for a lifetime. Try to be an all-around package.

Focus on your work, your career, and have dreams and aspirations that most people cannot even think of. That’s what makes a person stand out.

Know that if you believe in yourself, you can turn any situation into an opportunity to shine.

The truth is that one of the most attractive traits a person can have is confidence.

And where would you get that confidence from if all you think about is why he doesn’t text you like before?

6. Accept His Choice And Move On

The fact that he is no more interested in you can be hurtful, but take this as an opportunity to learn to accept rejections gracefully.

Know that you don’t need him to be happy and move on.

Getting him out of your mind is not easy when you still have feelings for him, but you can always redirect this energy to do something more productive.

The moment you acknowledge your worth, you refuse to settle for less and know precisely what you deserve.

Pro-tip: Instead of trapping yourself in the eternal loop of worrying over why isn’t he texting you, a better approach is to create conditions where he cannot help but feel attracted to you.

This will make him want to text you and talk to you. Read His Secret Obsession to know how.


It is hurtful when someone you like gradually stops talking to you without even addressing the issue.

Waiting for someone can weigh on you.

But before jumping to conclusions, you should always analyze the situation thoroughly and understand the root cause.

If he doesn’t text you back, there could be several reasons as discussed.

After going through the whole article, maybe it’s time for you to ask yourself whether the energy you are investing is worth the return or not?

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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