When A Guy Says He Loves You But You’re Not Dating | Meaning

We know it’s daunting and confusing. It seems illogical, right? Wrong!

When a guy says he loves you, but you’re not dating, don’t jump to conclusions. Believe his actions more than his words. Perhaps he didn’t mean it romantically and said it in a platonic way. Trying to find meaning where none exists hurts you in the long run. Overthinking and overanalyzing is a curse.

The definition of love changes with the feeling of the person who is saying it to you. Let’s be real, life is not a movie.

Pro-tip: You need a well-defined strategy to make him look at you in a completely different light as a romantic interest, even if he isn’t thinking about it right now.

It’s in your best interest to avoid the dreaded friend zone. For an in-depth tutorial on how to do that, check out His Secret Obsession now!

Before We Begin

The word love has so many meanings that it’s impossible to derive only one interpretation out of it. We can say I love you to anyone at any time.

This sentence is used as a way to express your affection, happiness, trust, care, respect towards anyone who is close to you.

To know the exact meaning, try and study the guy’s feelings towards you. See how your relations are with him.

Are they totally platonic, or is there some kind of attraction from the other side that you didn’t see before?

Why Is He Saying I Love You If You’re Not Dating?

Falling in love is very special. You are not meant to go around and say I love you to people you don’t even know, right?

You say it to your partner only when you mean it and without any ulterior motive. At least that’s what the society teaches us.

Hence, it’s not your fault if you find it odd when a guy who doesn’t know anything about you says I love you. Let’s dive into all the possible reasons.

1. Confusing Infatuation With Love

It happens with a lot of people. They think they are in love, but after some time it turns out to be nothing than a strong attraction towards a person.

The attraction is something that might die down eventually as it happens in many cases.

But if you really love someone, the feelings will only grow stronger with time.

TABLE: Guys When They Were Infatuated With A Girl But Came On Too Strong Too Soon

What Happened?Percentage
Moved on after some time73%
Hope she’ll say yes someday26%
Going out with the girl1%
Source: Based on a study conducted by RebootLoveLife.com where 146 guys shared what happened when they really fancied a girl but expressed their feelings too soon.

This guy is so engrossed in you that he might be confusing his obsession for love.

2. Just Meant It As A Friend

This guy thinks of you as a dear friend, and because of overwhelming emotion, he felt like saying, I love you.

But this doesn’t mean he romantically loves you. For him, the bond of friendship that he shares with you is exceptional.

He wants to convey that he loves you as a friend, and you are really important to him. He wants you by his side as a great friend, and he values you a lot.

Possibly, he said it as an expression of affection and is grateful to have a person like you by his side.

Just Meant It As A Friend

Now, the question is, do you want him to be more than friends but he doesn’t see you that way?

His behavior clearly tells you that you have been friend zoned but you want more?

His Secret Obsession is a step by step program that busts a lot of myth regarding attracting men and teaches you what exactly do men want from a woman.

The key is to tap into his emotional and biological wiring. To know more, do read our in depth review of His Secret Obsession.

3. An Impulsive Action

People sometimes confuse their other emotions with love.

If he is a kind of person who is not getting much affection in life, then one act of kindness from you can make him ‘fall in love’ with you.

But that won’t be love and just an impulse.

Maybe he likes you as a person, or he likes something specific or anything, but that does not mean he loves you.

So, possibly he is having a hard time figuring out his feelings for you and is saying I love you without even meaning it.

4. To Sleep With You

Saying I love you and making the girl emotionally involved can be the easiest way to sleep with a girl, at least this is what some guys think.

These guys use ‘I love you’ as a tool to get laid, and this could be very much the case here too. You can never know the actual intentions of a guy.

So, if this guy whom you have not even dated yet, is saying that he loves you, then maybe he is trying to get into your pants.

You need to be extra careful while dealing with such pervs as they can go to any extent to try and get what they want.

5. He Actually Loves You

A person can fall in love even without knowing you personally. You don’t always have to go on dates before loving someone.

For some people, a small reason is enough to fall in love. There is a thing called one-sided love. It’s more of an obsession to be honest.

Maybe this guy has been secretly admiring you for a long time and feels he’s in love with you. It is likely that he has been feeling this way for a long time.

Now he wants you to know how he feels about you, and maybe he is not even expecting you to reciprocate.

He is just sharing what he feels as maybe he is fed up of carrying this burden around.

What To Do About It?

How you respond to a proposal is totally dependent on your feelings for that person.

If you are clear about your feelings for that person, then handling the situation will become less complicated for you as you will know precisely how to proceed.

1. If You Don’t Love Him 

If you don’t have any kind of affection for this person, then there is no point in beating around the bush.

Let him know clearly that you don’t feel in a similar way about him.

But again as there are emotions involved, so you need to be extra polite while telling him the truth.

If this guy is someone you know and you care about, then try telling him how you respect his relationship with you, and he means a lot to you.

Tell him things that you like about him, but also how you don’t see yourself with him in a romantic light.

Figure out a way to send your message across without hurting the feelings of the person involved.

If You Don’t Love Him

2. When You Are Not Sure

If there is even the slightest possibility of you being in love with this guy in the future but don’t know for sure, then try buying some time for yourself.

If you know this person well and are attracted to him in some way, don’t try to take an instant decision.

Don’t say you love him until you mean it. We know, not reciprocating his feelings can hurt him, and you won’t want that.

But lying about your feelings will cause more significant harm in the future. Take some time to figure out your feelings.

Tell him that you like him, but it’s too soon for you to say anything and you are not ready.

3. If You Love Him 

Well if you love him, then you must have been waiting for this day. So, tell him that you feel for him as much as he does for you.

If you feel loved and you are happy with him then say I love you too. Don’t overthink at this point as it can complicate things between you and him.

Don’t stop yourself from expressing your feelings.

However, reciprocate only if you know for sure that he is genuinely in love with you and means whatever he says.

Even if there is a slight possibility that he may not be actually in love or maybe lying about his feelings, then take your time to analyze things.

Will A Guy Tell You He Loves You If He Doesn’t Mean It?

A guy can tell you he loves you even if he doesn’t mean it. Sometimes people use the word love without the expected feeling behind it. The love you are looking for takes time to develop and is full of strong emotions. It cannot happen overnight or without knowing you well enough.

Here is what you should remember:

1. Don’t Jump The Gun

If this guy is saying I love you too soon, then probably he is mistaking infatuation with love or trying to take advantage of you by manipulating your emotions.

It would be too early to conclude anything, so instead of believing him blindly, try to look for concrete evidence and aligning behavior that backs his words.

Don’t Jump The Gun

2. Love Takes Time

Initial days of a relationship are the best as you are deeply involved with the person, but this is not the right time to declare your love.

Because in the beginning, everything looks perfect.

You’ll feel on top of the world, but as the early rainbows begin to disappear, you’ll get a glimpse of the reality.

At first, we show our best side to the other person. Would his love still be there when things get back to usual?

Will he love you when he sees you without makeup and wearing pajamas? Or is he just another man with superficial needs from a woman?

It is essential to give time to your relationship so that it can grow.

You need to lay a strong foundation of trust, respect, and understanding first, which is not possible to happen in a few weeks or months.

3. Is He Acting On Impulse?

If he has ‘fallen in love’ with you too soon, then it won’t take him much time to get out of it.

He may as well ‘fall in love’ with someone else while he is still with you.

It might be entirely possible that this guy doesn’t even know what the real meaning of love is.

You need to look for the circumstances in which he has said these three words to you. Don’t go for words and go for his actions instead.

See how he treats you. Is he understanding, or you two don’t get along?

It’s easy to say I love you without meaning it, but it’s hard to back your words with actions.

How Do You Test A Guy To See If He Really Loves You?

To test a guy to see if he really likes you, see how he reacts to your absence. Does he get uncomfortable and make a lot of effort to get in touch with you? Or he hardly notices that you haven’t called or texted him? If he really likes you, he’d want to know why you’ve been acting aloof.

Tests can backfire if he gets to know you doubted his love for you.

By doing so, you may end up sabotaging your relations with this guy, and this could make the guy question whether or not you are worthy of his love.

Still, to save you from any unforeseen circumstances and clear the air for you, here are some subtle ways to test if he really is in love with you.

1. Become Unavailable For A While

A guy who is in love with you will always try to find reasons to either talk to you or be around you.

He would feel happy when he is around you, and being with you would surely brighten his day.

The very fact that he can get to look at you and adore you will make him ecstatic.

So try not to meet him or respond to his calls or text for a while. See how he behaves in this situation.

If your phone floods with calls and messages from him and he shows up at your doorstep without thinking twice, then this guy is only obsessed with you.

It’s not something you call love. Love is the right amount of healthy obsession and not something that stifles you.

Someone who loves you will first try to make sure you are fine. He would wait for you to meet and tell you how much he missed you.

You would see that in his eyes.

Become Unavailable For A While

2. Does He Share His Feelings?

When a guy loves you, he would want you to know him as well.

He will open up about himself and will even share things with you that no one knows.

It shows that he is very comfortable with you, you have become someone important to him, and he can trust you with his secrets.

Letting his guards down and wanting you to be a part of his life is not only cute but a definite sign too.

He wants you to see him as who he is and is not afraid of showing his vulnerable side to you.

If he never shares anything with you and is keeping things a secret, then that’s a red flag right there.

3. Invite Him To Meet Your Friends And Family 

Someone who is in love with you will always be open to the idea of meeting your loved ones unless he is too shy.

Meeting each other’s close relations means you are trying to take things one step ahead. It also means that you are serious about each other.

If not family, if you feel it’s too early, then at least ask him to meet your friends. He may not be ready for it at a certain point in time.

However, if it feels to you that he always declines on some pretext or the other, then you should be worried.

The chances are that he never will be ready cause he is bluffing around with you.

4. Ask Him For A Favor

Ask him to do something for you. Let the favor be something which might seem a bit too big. Ask for it even if you don’t need it.

At the time of execution, you can always back off by saying that you don’t need the favor anymore, thus saving him from any hassle.

But it will give you great insights into what his attitude will be in the future if ever you do need help.

Someone who loves you will always be happy to help you whenever in need. Doing favors for each other helps to build a bond. With time it becomes natural.

He doesn’t love you enough if he is only ordering you around, and when you want something from him, he just brushes you off.

Favors could also mean little things. Doing small things for each other is a way of showing care. Thus, if he doesn’t care, he can’t claim to love you. Period.

Ask Him For A Favor

5. How Does He Behave After A Fight?

Try picking up a fight with him. If you do not want to make it intentional, then wait for it to happen. The day you two argue about something, see how he reacts.

If the fight turns into something very ugly and the guy behaves horribly, then there is no love.

What exists is only the desire to prove himself right and make you look bad.

Someone who loves you will refrain from hurting you be it physically, mentally, or emotionally.

He will try to make up for it afterward and will do anything it takes to make you feel happy again.

Do Guys Jokingly Say I Love You?

Guys can jokingly say I love you. It can be a group prank, a bet, or just his idea of fun. A guy can also say so just to test the waters. If you respond positively, he can build on it. If you react unfavorably, he can fall back on “it was just a joke.”

Imagine this:

It’s a usual day, and you are hanging out with this guy whom you think of as a friend or maybe he’s a fling. But all of a sudden he blurts out, “I love you.”

The worst part is when, after that awkward silence, he laughs his way out to say he was just joking.

Now you are left wondering, was he serious or was he really joking? Sounds familiar? Read on!

1. Don’t Assume Anything

Start by recollecting all the time you’ve spent together. Look for subtle signs that verify his feelings for you.

Was this coming or it was too unexpected for you? If it still feels completely absurd, then maybe for this guy I love you is just like another sentence.

Even if you don’t see him using these words too frequently with everyone, don’t assume that he must be meaning it. Trust your gut instincts.

2. The Fear Of Rejection

Some guys are so scared of rejection from women that they try to use humor to get things done. If it hits, it hits. If it doesn’t, it was a joke, right?

How convenient. So, if you’ll reciprocate his feelings, then everything fits perfectly, but if you don’t, then it becomes a joke.

You both laugh it off, and your relationship with the guy stays unaffected. At least this is what he thought.

If you realize that there were always some hints or gestures that you were not able to notice until now, then this guy definitely has hidden feelings for you.

Now he is trying to ask you out in what he feels is a subtle way. He thinks of it as warming you up to the idea, whereas in fact, the truth is that he is afraid.

He’s the kind who’ll give you a rose one day and then just walk away without expecting any answer. He doesn’t have the courage to hear you say no.

The Fear Of Rejection

3. He Thinks That You Are Into Him

This guy may have no feelings for you what so ever as of now.

At least feelings that can be called ‘love.’ Perhaps he thinks that you like him and are just too shy to say it.

Maybe he finds you attractive and is only trying to find out how you feel about him. So just to be sure, he is pulling this stunt.

If you show your interest, then he can downplay his own interest in you and behave as if you’re the one chasing him.

Unless, his actions show he really loves you in a serious way, it is safe not to react at all. Just play along and do your own math afterward.


It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating the guy who is saying I love you. What matters are the feelings he has for you.

Sometimes we should choose the road less traveled to experience something new instead of the regular trodden path.

At the same time, don’t be naïve and just dig into whatever he is saying. Some girls believe tricksters while some turn down genuine guys.

Now tell us how will you tackle the guy? Will you give him a chance or you are finding the situation a bit too over the top? Tell us in the comments below!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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