Why Do I Attract Married Men? | Reasons & What To Do About It

If you attract married men, why do you think something is wrong with you? There are many stories of women who attract married men like honey attracts flies.

You attract married men because they seek some freshness in their otherwise dull lives through you. It isn’t because you give off some vibe, which makes them come for you. The problem doesn’t lie with you. You can not control who you attract.

Married men are mostly attracted to single, confident, and smart women who can offer them something new and exciting.

Before We Begin

Let us debunk the greatest myth surrounding the reason as to why it happens. Read the next sentence carefully and memorize it if you have to.

Do not think less of yourself if married men frequently approach you. It doesn’t mean there is a flaw in you.

It’s them who need to be honest with their wives.

However, please note that this article doesn’t mean that men are the only ones to get involved with someone outside their marriage.

Many women do the same too and our rules apply equally to women also.

Reasons Why Married Men Get Attracted To Other Women

There are several reasons that sum up why married men cheat and get attracted to other women.

It is not unusual for a married or any man to get attracted to women, but what matters is how they respond to their feelings.

Nothing can justify cheating someone, even if you’re not in love with your current partner.

1. Trying To Find Happiness In Other Women 

Some marriages are done against the will of the people involved or in haste, which doesn’t give them time to understand the other person.

They find it hard later to deal with each other and end up ruining each other’s life.

When a person is not happily married or is unsatisfied in their marriage, they try to find happiness outside.

A man may try and find women other than his wife, who he thinks can give him the happiness he misses or the satisfaction of being in a good relationship.

If a man is attracted to you, he sees you as an opportunity to gain that lost happiness and peace.

He wants you in his life to make him feel that there is more to life, and his marriage is not the end.

Trying To Find Happiness In Other Women

2. They Find Other Women Attractive

When two people are together for a long time, they tend to lose interest in each other. For them, the outside world becomes more interesting.

The same happens with married men, and they get attracted to other women because they feel that they have nothing left to explore in their married life.

TABLE: Married Men On Being Attracted To A Woman At Their Workplace

Age GroupYesNoUnsure
Source: A survey conducted by RebootLoveLife.com on 308 married men employed in a 9-5 job.

They believe that single and new people have more to offer than married ones. Aging is another factor why married men get attracted to younger women.

They want to prove to themselves that they still have the skills to impress a beautiful woman.

The energy of a young person makes them feel as if they are of the same age and have not become monotonous.

3. They Like Talking To Other Women

Married men like talking to other women because this is their get away from their day to day married life problems.

They experience a lack of communication or unresolved conflicts with their partners all the time.

Because of the communication gap, misunderstandings increase in their relationship, thus making it even harder to communicate.

Everyday frustration makes married men go out and talk to new women even more, to feel relieved and normal.

Talking to other women who are exciting, full of life, and ambitious attracts them.

Women with such good spirits make these men feel alive, hence attracting them even more.

4. Physical Disconnect With Their Wife

Married men get attracted to other women when their wife is unavailable, or there is a lack of intimacy.

When men feel physically disconnected from their spouse, it leaves them stranded. Then they try to fulfill their needs outside.

Also, men seek novelty because of which when the initial spark and thrill in their marriage are lost, they try to develop new ways for themselves to satisfy their needs.

Married men get more and more attracted to women who are attractive and confident about themselves.

They want them in their life to fulfill their desire, which they were not able to share with their wives and enjoy intimacy to its fullest.

5. Lack Of Emotional Attachment In Marriage

Married men get attracted to other women when they feel ignored, or there is a lack of emotional attachment with their wife.

They feel neglected when their wife does not talk to them much or spend time with them and want a woman who can connect with them on an emotional level.

Someone who can hear them and show interest in them. They want someone who won’t take them for granted.

So, despite being married, they go out and look for women who can make them feel desired and give them all the attention they seek.

They want someone for whom they will be a priority.

6. He Feels Underappreciated

Men do not like it when they are underappreciated, be it work or their marriage. They want all attention to themselves.

Taking care of each other as a couple has become difficult in our fast-moving society.

Couples have become so busy doing the routine chores, that they forget to do the little things that once made them happy.

So, tired of routine and lack of appreciation for the efforts, a man seeks someone who will appreciate them more.

They get attracted to someone who they think can give them the attention they desire and an escape from their underappreciated, neglected existence.

He Feels Underappreciated

7. A Lifeless And Dull Life

To keep someone attracted, you need to provide them something new and exciting from time to time.

Dull and boring marriage life drives a man away.

Some men become disappointed as they expected a fun and happy married life, but it becomes something very boring and mundane as time passes.

Also, it might be a career going nowhere or a boring, non-happening life in general. Thus, they go out and seek new women.

Given the opportunity, they do not hesitate to pursue other women.

Also, men who like to experiment in bed and find their desires unfulfilled, are mostly the ones who get attracted to every other woman outside.

8. A History Of Cheating

Someone who cheated once is not ashamed of doing it again and again.

Some men with cheating histories don’t change even after getting married or after having kids.

They become addicted to bedding different women and sleeping around. Thus, you can not tie them in one place.

Today they are attracted to you, and tomorrow it will be someone else. They become selfish and a slave of their desires.

They feel trapped and unhappy while being married and crave for a new conquest. It’s a show of manliness to them.

Cheating is the way of having fun for these men as they strongly believe that if they are married, it doesn’t mean they can’t love other women.

It’s an addiction that won’t go away anytime soon, irrespective of whether they have a wife or children.

9. An Abusive Relationship With Wife

We don’t come across many cases of domestic violence against men, but it doesn’t mean they don’t exist.

They are there but hard to identify. Also, abuse can be of many kinds, i.e., physical, mental, or emotional, and some men face that too.

So, one of the other causes for men to get attracted to other women can be getting continuously abused and disrespected at home.

They think the other woman will be caring and will respect him for who he is.

They expect psychological and emotional support from other women, which they possibly don’t get from their wives at home.

An Abusive Relationship With Wife

10. Lack Of Love And Understanding

This is one of the most common reasons in all marriages for any partner to go out and find someone else, be it the husband or the wife.

Most marriages, due to a lack of love and understanding, find it hard to grow and eventually fail to work out.

So, in this case, a man tries to find someone who they can love and who will love them back.

They want someone who will understand them and will be there in thick and thin. Someone who motivates him and helps him grow in life.

A loving partner is all he wants, and when he doesn’t see that person in his wife, he tries to find her in other women.

What To Do If A Married Man Is Attracted To You?

If a married man is attracted to you, avoid him at all costs. If he does not stop, tell him clearly and firmly that you are not interested in him. Convey that there can’t be anything between the two of you. Never get involved with a guy who is married to someone else.

Don’t be naïve enough not to see that he plans on cheating his wife, and there is no surety he won’t do the same to you.

By being with a married guy, not only you’ll get yourself in trouble, but you’ll also be equally responsible for ruining some other woman’s life.

You’ll unknowingly become a homewrecker.

You should not believe this guy because, in most cases, all he wants is to have fun with you for some time and move to his next target.

If he can do such a cruel thing to his wife and his kids (if any), then why do you think you are any different.

He will not change for you or anybody. Such men continue to be jerks all their life no matter what.

He will leave you after his desire is fulfilled, and you’ll be the one left behind with lifelong guilt. You’ll regret it and will not be able to forgive yourself.

We strongly believe that even in genuine cases where a man is unhappily married, he should be strong enough to let his wife know that.

He should first get a divorce and then think about pursuing another woman. 

If You Also Like A Married Man

It will be foolish, but we can’t blame you for this as falling for someone is not in our control, irrespective of their relationship status.

But if you are in love with a married guy, then, in this case, you need to act maturely and think rationally.

Don’t take any step that will make you regret your decision later. Stop seeing this guy and keep distance as much as possible.

Try forgetting this guy and move on.

You being with a guy who is married to someone else is wrong on so many levels and will always be a bad choice no matter what.

Firstly, you will be choosing a cheat over other nice guys, and secondly, you’ll be wrecking someone’s house.

You should know you deserve better than this, and there are so many guys out there who can make you feel happy and special.

Even if he is in an unhappy marriage, do not entertain him until there is no other woman in his life.

If You Also Like A Married Man

Signs A Married Man Is Pursuing You

Signs that a married man is pursuing you aren’t much different from when a single man does it. Notice his body language when he is around.

A married man will try to hide his marriage and family. If you happen to know that he is married, he will prefer not to talk about it.

Also, he will be much more open to you when his family (wife and children) won’t be around.

In case, you don’t know about his marriage, he’ll always be very secretive about his family.

Below are the ten possible signs that a guy interested in you might show. How many have you experienced?

1. You Find Him Around You Every Time

Initially, wherever you see, he is always there and trying to get your attention.

He is the one who is always initiating conversations and will try to find excuses to talk to you or be near you every time.

This guy has no real reason to be around you, but somehow he is always there where you are.

You will find him talking to your friends so that he can get more time with you without anybody knowing or doubting.

Suddenly the way he looks at will seem to be different. Whenever you look at him, he smiles at you in a very different manner.

Every time your eyes meet, he will hold the gaze. It all starts with that wicked smile and a few seconds of staring.

2. He Behaves Differently With You

A married man who is interested in you will treat you in a special way.

You will be able to see the difference between his way of talking to others and when he talks to you.

With you, he will be extra sweet, all smiley and always trying to make you laugh.

He will be careful about how he looks around you and sometimes come across as nervous. You will notice him praising you all the time.

He will also share his personal situations, problems, and stories with you.

He would want to be seen as someone who is very nice and sweet and someone you would be happy with.

Also, he will try to show you his emotional side.

He Behaves Differently With You

3. He Is Interested In What You Like

You will find him taking more interest in you than earlier. He would want to know what you like, what you dislike, etc.

Also, he would like to know how you spend your time or what your hobbies are.

Mostly he would be interested in what type of men you like to date and what is your idea of a perfect date so that he can take you on one.

He will be really attentive while listening to you so that you know you are important to him.

Sometimes he will give you subtle compliments about the way you smile or about your eyes or something else.

He may also tell you how he likes your company.

4. Texting Or Calling You Too Often

He will always try to mark his presence around you, would want you to see that he feels differently for you and will make it evident.

By talking to you all the time, texting you when he is not around, or stalking you on social media, he will keep himself informed about your whereabouts.

His texts will seem to have some hidden meaning to them, and he will casually flirt with you over texts.

But, he usually won’t call or text you when he at his home as it might spark suspicion in his wife.

You will start to notice the extra attention that you receive from this person.

5. Suddenly He Becomes Too Caring

He will start taking care of you (or at least show it) and be very interested in your daily routine, what you do, where you go, etc.

He would try and dig deep into your personal life.

Keeping a check on you, whether you’ve eaten or not, or are you taking enough sleep, are you taking good care of your health are some of the questions that will suddenly become increasingly common.

He will keep calling or texting you, sometimes at odd hours, much to your chagrin.

Sometimes when you don’t respond to his texts, he would call you and ask why aren’t you doing so.

He might try to present himself as the most perfect and the most caring guy.

Suddenly He Becomes Too Caring

6. He Would Want To Meet More Often

A married guy who is interested in you would meet you more and more. He would want you to know about him and will feel good when he is with you.

You are an opportunity for him to escape his married reality.

He will frequently ask you out, and if you guys work together, he would want to have lunch together every day.

Also, he might casually ask to drop you to your home or pick you up every day. You will feel that for him, you are more than just a colleague or friend.

7. Questions Will Be Personal

He will take a lot of interest in your dating life.

Not only would he want to know about your relationship status frequently, but also ask you questions about your past relationships and how and why they ended.

Basically, he is seeking to connect with you on a common and preferably emotional point.

If you are dating someone else already, he might act jealous but will never accept it when asked.

He will try and know a bit about this guy and then may tell you all the bad things about him in a bid to prove that he is better.

He will actively try to change your mind and feeling about him.

8. He Talks Ill About His Marriage

In case you know about his marriage, you’ll always find him complaining about it to you.

It will always be full of how he never wanted to get married and was forced into doing so or how he regrets getting married to the wrong person.

Even if his wife isn’t a bad person, you’ll never get the correct picture.

He might go on about how the chemistry has changed between him and his wife and how they are always fighting, don’t love each other anymore.

Not only will he try to get your sympathy by showing how unhappy and unloved he feels but will also try to exploit you emotionally.

He will say you make him happy, and he loves to spend time only with you.

There will be lots of compliments and especially about how you understand him more than his wife.

He will compare you to his wife sooner or later and will try to make you feel great.

He Talks Ill About His Marriage

9. He Always Tries To Meet You In Private

A married guy will try to keep his meetings secret.

He will always behave differently when others are around, particularly friends, as they are the ones who would know he is married.

Married men mostly meet the other women in private because of the fear of being caught.

They will always invite you to less crowded places or places that are far from his home or office.

He will never introduce you to his friends and will avoid meeting your friends as your date. A married man will be too secretive.

Another reason to meet in private can be to come close to you in an intimate way, as that is the ultimate objective for most of these men.

He will try to touch you casually while talking, and no resistance might be perceived as encouraging behavior for a much bolder or direct approach.

10. He Will Always Try To Impress You

A guy interested in you who can’t get you by just being nice or being a perfect lover will try to impress you with the help of money or other expensive gifts.

His behavior would seem as if he is trying to sell himself and buy you.

It’s common for married men to give other women expensive gifts or monetary help to woo them and show power.

He will give you gifts like beautiful and fragrant flowers, expensive watches, etc. or dine in nice restaurants.

If a group of people surrounds you both, he will try to act cool and tell funny stories to impress you.

He would always try to charm you and make you fall for him either by being good or through the show of power.

“Married Man Pursuing Me At Work” – What To Do?

If a married man is pursuing you at work, ask yourself, are you interested in him? If you aren’t, then consider taking one or more of the following steps:

1. The best way is to talk to him and let him know that you don’t like his advances. Period. This stops most men in their tracks.

2. Talk to your colleagues and let them know you aren’t comfortable. They will keep his presence around you in check and might even tell him to stop.

3. If none of this works, directly approach your boss and report workplace harassment. Yes, this becomes harassment now as he didn’t stop when you and your colleagues specifically asked him to.

4. In all of the above cases, always keep someone close to you informed (close kin or a friend) for the times when things might take a legal turn.

Married Man Pursuing Me At Work

If You Like Him Too

If you too are interested in the man, then as mentioned earlier, at least make sure that he is no longer with his wife. Don’t believe what he says.

There are so many men who will try and convince you how their marriage is beyond repair and how they will ‘soon’ leave their wives.

The truth is that a majority of these men are cooking up stories and that ‘soon’ will never come. They are too scared to leave the comfort of their marriage.

Some are even outright lying and might not be having any issues at home. They do so just to sleep with other women.

If he wants to be with you, you should be the only woman in his life. No exceptions.

Either he should have already divorced his wife or should be going through a separation. Ask him to show a copy of the divorce papers if you need to.

This will save you from a world of trouble and wrecking someone’s home unknowingly.


Being attracted to you or someone else is normal. It is human. The important part is how you choose to act on it.

If a married man hides it from his wife and cheats on her, then he is the one who should be ashamed of himself.

You don’t need to go crazy over why you keep attracting such men because they approach almost every other woman they meet.

Now it’s your turn to share in the comments your experiences of being approached by a married man.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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