Why Do I Like Her? | And What Should I Do About It?

Feeling that you like a girl is one thing, but finding answers to why you like her and what to do about it is an entirely different ball game. Knowing the ‘why’ can help you with the ‘what’.

You like her because attraction isn’t a choice. You cannot control it or choose whom to get attracted to or why. The trigger could be something as minor as her smile or as significant as her overall personality.

Guys often find themselves in a dilemma where they like a girl but do not find the courage to approach her. Most of their efforts are limited to rehearsing canned pickup lines, only to find them failing again and again. This article will also help you in taking those initial steps to help you approach her confidently.

How about for a change you stop chasing this woman and make her chase you instead? Wouldn’t it be better if she likes you too? Check out Playing With Fire to learn how!

Possible Reasons Why You Like Her

1. You Like Her Appearance

It is common for us to like someone based on their appearance as looks play a significant role in love and attraction.

Love, at first sight, is nothing but an attraction towards someone’s outer beauty without even knowing the person.

TABLE: Men On What Attracts Them To A Woman At First Sight Or After Initial Interaction?

Physical attractiveness93%
Shared values1%
Source: Based on a study by RebootLoveLife.com where 40 males and 40 females were allowed to interact with a member of the opposite gender for 5 minutes and then move to the next person.
Note: The exercise was conducted for 50 minutes, i.e. each male talked to 10 different females and vice versa. The age of the participants was between 18-45 years.

You saw someone, and you liked what you saw. Do you always find yourself admiring her looks or telling yourself how beautiful, pretty, and cute she is?

Then definitely one of the reasons for your interest in this girl is her appearance.

But you need to ask yourself do you like her because you find her beautiful or you like her because everyone around you finds her attractive?

If it’s the latter case, you need to stop following others and look for someone you like or genuinely find beautiful.

Having an unpopular opinion is nothing to be ashamed of.

You Like Her Appearance

2. She Is Intelligent And Smart

Some people are drawn towards the intelligence of a person. Ever heard the term sapiosexual? They like a person who is either equally intelligent or has a higher IQ.

Being on an equal intelligence level helps a lot in holding meaningful conversations as both the partners can understand each other and seldom hit a dead end while communicating.

Maybe you like this girl because only she can get what you are talking about or your inside jokes.

You can discuss anything with her, be it literature, politics, science, anything. You like the way she thinks and solves trivial problems without taking much time.

Things are always more comfortable with her, and every day you get to learn something new from her.

Her intellect and problem-solving nature attract you toward her.

3. You Both Share Similar Interests

So, you like spending Saturday nights at home, binge-watching something and she is also not a party person.

You like soulful music, and she connects with your collection. She enjoys cooking at home rather than ordering from outside, and so do you.

She is just like you, and that’s what attracts you. You both are fun together, and it never gets boring when she is around.

She is the one you go to when you want to escape the mundane world. She feels different to you than others and so similar to you.

We are generally more attracted to people who are like us. Sharing similar interests builds a great bond, and you grow stronger together.

4. Her Personality Is Completely Opposite

We all know opposites attract, and it gets real in some cases. It’s not always that only people with similar interests fall for each other.

We like people who are not like us because we admire the unknown they bring in our life. It brings in some fresh air of excitement.

Logically we feel they can never be our choice because of the differences, but somehow their personality attracts us.

Every experience with them feels exciting and new because of the difference in preferences.

5. You Bond Emotionally With Her

You like her because you share a strong emotional bond with her.

Out of all the people in our life, the most important ones are those who understand our feelings.

People whom we tell every little thing about us and who knows us inside out.

It is common to develop feelings for such a person as we are most vulnerable when we are emotional.

You share all the news with her, and she is always there for you. She listens to you and guides you if needed.

This is a bond that without any doubt, can induce strong feelings within you.

You Bond Emotionally With Her

6. She Is Kind And Caring

You like her because she is a person with a kind heart. You like the way she treats others without discrimination.

She cares for the people around her and knows how to keep everyone happy. She is polite and sweet to everyone and never behaves rudely.

Most importantly, she is nice to everyone even if they don’t deserve it, and it makes you respect her even more.

Whenever you are upset, she somehow tends to sense it and makes every effort to cheer you up. She is one of the best people you’ve ever known.

7. You Feel Good In Her Company 

When we like someone we feel good in their presence. Your day lightens up when she is around, and you don’t overthink when you are with her.

All your problems, worries disappear when you are together. You can be stupid and do silly things with her because you know she is not judging you.

This girl sees you for who you are. You like her vibe, her friendly nature, and she is great at making you feel comfortable. She makes you feel loved.

8. You Grow With Her

You like this girl because she helps you become a better person and you learn new things together.

She enables you to understand the complexities of life, and making a decision is always easy with her.

Whenever you feel disappointed over something, she encourages you. She shows you a positive light in the worst problems.

Your perspective has changed after her. You like how supportive she is toward your dreams.

You like the way she calms you down when you are panicking over something and later how she simplifies it for you.

Life is easier with her, and you are growing as a person.

9. She Has High Social Status

It is very common for us to like someone who is liked by many around us. We are naturally more drawn towards someone who possesses high social value.

Maybe you don’t like the girl but rather like the idea of being with someone as popular as her. You see her for what others see in her.

You don’t know who she is, what she is like in person.

Maybe, you just like the fact that she is beautiful, popular among other guys and girls, probably rich, intelligent, and all these things make you like her.

You cannot actually tell if you really like someone or not without knowing them.

Also, you may lose interest after knowing her as a person, or you may start to like her, even more. Who knows?

And before you or anybody else judges you, please know that it is natural to be drawn to someone is a position of power or higher social status.

Just get to know the person though!

She Has High Social Status

10. She Reminds You Of Someone

Was there an ex who broke your heart? Or your long lost love with whom you had part ways due to a tragic reason?

Maybe the jaws of death snatched that special someone?

Whatever the reason is, many people find it really hard to control their emotions when they see someone who either looks like or behaves like someone they were madly in love with at some point in their life.

All the memories come back running, and people get flooded with emotions.

Should You Just Tell Her That You Like Her?

If you like her, then outright expressing your feelings early on can backfire. Imagine this, you walk up to a girl and tell her that you like her. She says, “I’ve been waiting for this day! Aww, I like you too.” Perfect, right? Wake up! This only happens in the movies, and real-life is far from it.

She’s rather going to say something along the lines of “Thanks, but I only like you as a friend!” and bam, you are her new guy pal.

So, this is precisely how you don’t get girls in real life and get friend-zoned in the blink of an eye. We don’t want to beat around the bush here.

You need to push the right buttons in a woman and create attraction within her.

Yes, attraction is the key here, and without it, there is nothing much that you can do about your liking for this girl.

The first step here is to make the girl notice you, invoke attraction for you, and make her like you even before you ask her out for a coffee or go on a date somewhere else if a coffee sounds too cliched.

Interestingly, we came across a resource that provides immense value in helping you understand female psychology.

Known as Playing With Fire, it is a golden resource if you want to know a much better way, if not the best, on how to approach the woman you like.

Here are two important steps in the right direction:

1. Self Grooming

First and foremost, what you need to do is enhance your looks. Now you don’t need to look like Brad Pitt or George Clooney in their hay days.

The least you could do is be hygienic and look presentable while also giving your body some regular exercise.

To attract someone, you need to be attractive.

We human beings have specific criteria based on which we choose our mate, and a pleasing appearance is one of the most common things people look for.

Your appearance is one of the first things she will notice, and it doesn’t hurt to get good marks in this department.

Even if you are no supermodel, it doesn’t matter.

A great personality transcends beyond just good looks and also includes equally important elements like confidence, humour, and the skill to hold a decent conversation.

You are not just what you look like. It’s also who you are as a person, your thoughts, your emotions and values.

Strike A Balance

Thus the term self-grooming is all-inclusive. Learn some social skills, communicate well and treat those around you with respect.

Be cocky as much as you want but also humble when it requires you to do so.

Don’t be a yes man or submissive to everyone but treat even those people who cannot do anything for you with tremendous respect.

It is only then it matters the most. Otherwise, people are usually sweet and respectful when they seek something in return.

Also, a good physique won’t only help you look attractive, but it will keep you fit and healthy.

Hit the gym or workout at home, watch what you’re eating. Girls like confident men, someone who knows how to lead and at the same time, remains unpredictable.

Develop good taste in clothes, hairstyles, fashion sense, as these choices also add to your personality.

Take good care of yourself and start loving yourself first.

Become the best version of yourself and stay that way because no one settles for a below-average person.

We all want the best, so why expect differently from the girl you like.

Self Grooming

2. Make Her Notice Your Presence & Absence

Now that you’ve worked on yourself, it’s time to make her notice all that effort and the new you.

Start by being around her more than usual but remember to strike a balance. A 40% availability and 60% non-availability is a good measure.

Make her curious. Let her miss you a bit.

Don’t give her too much attention but provide enough to keep her interest in you going. Communicate with her and be confident.

Make her laugh as it will help get her comfortable talking to you and the sense of building a new friendship.

However, we are not looking to get friend-zoned here. Listen to her carefully and take an interest in her life.

Ask her about her likings and get to know her, but at the same time, be careful if you are overstepping the boundaries.

Make her feel good about herself and see that you admire her.

Mystery Leads To Awesome History

Don’t reveal much about yourself as the mystery is what makes a man a hell lot attractive.

When you see that she has also started showing an interest in you, then ask her out on a date.

Always try to be you and let her see you for who you are and your qualities. Don’t rush it but build an emotional bond with her.

Now at this point, if you feel like it, you can tell her that you like her but see if it’s too soon to do so and what the consequences would be.

So, it’s never a good idea to admit your feelings to her without knowing what she feels for you.

Observe her behaviour. Never go for her words. If she is uncomfortable around you, doesn’t want you and you can sense it, then back off buddy.

Even if you find her being polite and nice, she might only be doing so out of decency or not wanting to hurt you.

Work on yourself and prepare a better version of yourself for the next girl.

Dating is a numbers game, and the more you practice talking to women, the better you get.

There is indeed a chance that you’ll lose this girl forever if she rejects you, but there is no point in treating her as ‘the only one’.

Putting her on a pedestal would make it even more difficult for you to talk to her normally, i.e. the way you really are.

What To Say If A Girl Asks Why You Like Her?

If a girl asks why you like her, comment on an engaging part of her personality. Refrain from commenting about physical appearances like a hot body, deep eyes, or beautiful hair early on. Chances are she gets such compliments all the time. A girl loves it if you look beyond the physical barrier.

When this question comes up, it’s natural to panic because you don’t want to ruin it all by saying something silly.

Remember the acronym, KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. Don’t prepare an answer in advance or try to make it perfect. Don’t stress yourself and think calmly.

What do you miss about her when she is not around? Why you adore her? Just communicate that!

Some guys try to put in big words in an attempt to impress the girl with their seemingly vast vocabulary.

However, with no deep feelings involved, you are definitely going to ruin it.

Be real and honest. Let her see herself through your eyes and make her feel adored. Here are some points that you may want to include.

But don’t force it. Just see what fits your personality and feels natural while saying.

What To Say If That Girl Asks Why I Like Her

1. Start With Something Unique

You may want to compliment her for good looks, but that won’t help you stand out.

Girls are used to getting complimented for their looks, and it won’t be something she is listening to for the first time.

Our outer appearance is genetic, we are born with it, and there is nothing much we did for it.

It would help if you started by complimenting her for things she doesn’t usually get complimented on.

Things like her taste in clothes, food, books, movies, or anything that you find attractive other than her looks are good openers.

These are the things she chooses for herself, things that she puts her thoughts and efforts into.

2. Appreciate Her Skills

Have you ever noticed her helping or being nice to someone? Maybe she was leading a group and did a great job at that.

If yes, then do make her feel appreciated by complimenting those traits. Tell her that you like how hardworking she is or how passionate she is.

Tell her you like her humility and the way she treats others. Compliment her for confidence or the way she carries herself.

If she is a good listener or a great speaker, then praise her for that.

Any quality that you find worth appreciating, be it her caring nature or bubbly personality, do make it a point to mention it.

Make her see how you respect her for being such a lovely human being, and do not forget to make it sound romantic.

Just look deep into her eyes when you say so.

3. Express Your Feelings

Now that you’ve gained her attention, start telling her how she makes you feel when she is around.

Be honest and share your true feelings but not to the extent that she starts finding you creepy.

Tell her that you enjoy her company, and you are happy when around her. You are always comfortable with her, and you feel like she knows you.

If you feel like your thoughts are similar on many topics, tell her how great it feels to have someone who understands you.

Again don’t tell everything because girls are more attracted to mysteries. Always keep her curious for more and make her chase you.

Express Your Feelings


In summary, keeping things simple and improving yourself constantly are the two key points to take away from this article.

It is easy to get overwhelmed by a ton of advice out there, but in our experience, the more you stick to the basics, the more chances of success you have.

There is always room to experiment later on. Now tell us in the comments why do you like that girl and what are you going to do about it?

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

Recent Posts