Texting has allowed us to live our digital fairy tale with minimal effort. Instead of writing a love letter, we can just send a long, loving text. But how healthy is this reliance on texting for communicating our feelings and strengthening our bond in a relationship?
Texting is bad for relationships because it lacks emotional expression and cannot provide human contact. It is a lazy form of communication that encourages emotional illiteracy leading to uncertainty and anxiety. It often creates misunderstandings that, if not resolved properly, may last forever.
Our increasing preference for texting makes for more interactions but decreases their quality, harming our relationships. Scroll through to analyze how communicating via text can damage your relationship.
Reasons Why Texting Is Bad For Relationships
Quick and easy communication combined with minimal effort has made texting a preferred means of interaction in relationships- but if overused, it can soon become a source of conflict and cause long-lasting damage to the relationship.
1. It Can Create Miscommunication
Communicating by text to your partner is risky due to the ease with which texts are misunderstood. Without facial cues and tone of voice, it can be challenging to understand the intention of the message.
All of us often misinterpret texts to one degree or another, which may completely change the direction of the ongoing conversation.
A genuine compliment may be taken as half-hearted lip service or even sarcasm. You often do not get the context of what’s going on at the other end, and that can create miscommunication.
Just one lousy misunderstanding coupled with intense emotions can lead to irreparable damage in a relationship.
2. Shows A Lack of Effort
Any relationship requires effort, connection, and intimacy to grow stronger, which can never be fully achieved by relying on lazy forms of communication like texting.
Although texting enables more frequent contact, a superficial lover can also use it to curtail actual efforts. A “happy birthday” text can never bring the same smile as a card or a meetup.
A mourner receiving condolences over text differs from a mourner receiving a kind smile and some company when being consoled.
Remember, actions always speak louder than words; that includes written words, too.
At root, texting is a lazy form of communication, and our relationships suffer when we don’t invest in them. In short, lazy communication begets a lazy relationship.
3. Makes You Feel Lonely And Disconnected
Texting can degrade your connection even further when going through a rough patch in your relationship.
While texting, it becomes impossible to know how the other person is reacting emotionally to what you have said.
You can end up hurting your partner even more by making them feel alone despite having your support.
Conversations that allow you to hear their voice, see their expressions and support authentic dialogue are still the best way to bring you closer to them.
A good face-to-face conversation and a tight hug are the best antidotes to loneliness which can never be substituted by texting.
4. Encourages Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Texting often encourages passive-aggressive behavior. Typing on a screen where you can’t see the reflection of pain or hurt on someone’s face invites impulsive responses, which can sometimes be mean.
While texting, people tend to vent their anger through lengthy monologues as they don’t risk interruption, but what may serve as a chance to clear the air for one person can end up being overwhelming for the other.
Not only this, texts help your partner to keep track of hurtful messages you might have sent. It’s an open invitation for resentment to set in even after the matter has been resolved.
In no time, texting can become an easy escape from confrontations.
5. Easy To Lie And Manipulate
When we meet someone in person or talk over a call, they are easier to read by their body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice.
Text messages can be calculated, tweaked, and even deleted before your partner sees them in some cases.
Are you texting your partner to say you’re working late while out for drinks with coworkers?
Texting can become an easy escape from your responsibilities for now, but it can damage your relationship in the long run.
It becomes much easier and more convenient to lie over texts as it allows one to plan the message out in advance without having to worry about making eye contact.
6. “Ghosting” Or Being “Left On Read”
A short response is not the only unintended wound inflicted by texting. Often, what’s worse than a short text is no response at all.
It is a lot easier to ignore a text and forget about it than to ignore someone in person. Being left on read or not responding quickly enough can make your partner feel insecure, ignored, and unimportant.
Sometimes you might be genuinely busy, but many people tend to intentionally avoid the conversation by delaying a reply as much as possible.
Constantly ignoring your partner’s texts can work like a slow poison. It makes them emotionally detached from you, and they may feel unwanted or annoying, eventually killing the relationship.
7. Excessive Texting Can Be A Turn-Off
Texting all day can be a sign of a codependent relationship and can have repercussions not only in the relationship itself but even after the breakup.
Texting non-stop could indicate that your partner is clingy, needy, and feeling insecure in the relationship, which kills all the chemistry.
Therefore, both partners must understand that just because people have the ability to respond 24/7 doesn’t mean that they should be.
Demanding to know where someone is, who they are with, and what they are doing all the time begins to seem quite controlling.
Excessive texting is not a sustainable habit, and that amount of communication might not always be necessary for a healthy relationship.
8. Divided Attention
In our busy world where everyone is in a hurry, it is impossible to give your full attention while communicating via text.
Texts come with unavoidable time gaps that can leave your partner feeling devalued and unheard. Therefore, discussing anything important related to your relationship over text is not very wise.
A face-to-face meetup or phone call with time devoted solely to that allows you to share deep emotions without interruption, which is necessary for a real connection.
9. Unnecessary Stress And Overthinking
When we receive texts, we have no situational background from which to draw conclusions. Unsurprisingly, we often end up making negative assumptions.
Texting is often filled with confusion, and messages can be easily misinterpreted without nonverbal signals, leading to unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Sending your partner a profound emotional text and not hearing back can make you anxious, and you may end up harboring negative feelings towards the partner for the entire day.
Just an extra comma between two words or an omitted phrase can bring forth negative meanings to the text.
The reader may unnecessarily begin to doubt themselves and their interpretation of your relationship.
10. Text Can Be Used As A Written Proof
Many people assume text messages are private, but that’s not necessarily the case. Text messages can be used as destructive proof.
They’re not reliable, either, as they are easily manipulated or taken out of context.
It’s easy to say things on texts that you would never say in person or say something impulsively that you can’t take back once documented.
Always ensure you are careful about how you communicate things because what you put in writing can come back to haunt you.
11. Can Never Replace A Traditional Verbal Communication
Texts indeed allow us to converse with each other more quickly and easily, but you cannot expect them to replace traditional verbal communication.
Making a connection is not only about sending pre-programmed trinkets but also looking into someone’s eye, holding hands, reaching out, and touching them.
Moreover, texting while fighting can result in shooting hurtful comments you don’t really mean and would never say in person, which can make the situation even worse.
Texting doesn’t allow you to express your feelings adequately, making your apologies and reconciliation less meaningful, thus straining the relationship even more.
12. Texts Can’t Reveal True Personality
To know and understand someone better, you have to be able to see them and read their body language.
Text messages cannot reveal someone’s true personality as there’s enough time to craft your reply before sending it to the person, which you can’t do in a real-life scenario.
Someone sends you a text, and you get to write an answer, check it, change it, or completely rewrite it if you feel it’s not good enough, and then send it.
Texting gives you all the extra opportunity to tailor your personality according to the other person’s liking if you are good enough with words.
13. Running Out Of Things To Talk About
The more you text each other in a day, the less you have to talk about when you meet in person. Continuous text messaging can leave you speechless when you finally spend time in person.
What is there left to say when you have already texted them every tiny detail of your work, the food you enjoyed today, and the review of the latest movie you watched?
Repeating the same conversations, again and again, can make things boring and monotonous. So, before you decide to text them next time, try saving it for in-person discussions.
14. No Digital Space
How many texts are too many in a day? The answer ultimately depends on what you’re comfortable with. What is not okay is when your partner starts deciding this for you.
Space in a relationship can be a tricky concept when we decide to communicate mainly via text. Remember that it’s important to respect each other’s boundaries even when you are texting.
If your partner is texting you way too much and you are not comfortable with it, communicating your boundaries is very important for a long-lasting healthy relationship.
Texting In A Relationship: Ways To Negate The Side Effects
As we become increasingly digitally connected, it gets harder to completely eliminate texting as a means of communication in our relationships.
Although texts have the power to hurt the relationship, being purposeful in how we’re using texting can always help to negate these side effects.
Be more mindful and quickly scroll through these points to enhance your texting experience with your partner:
1. Check Your Texting Compatibility
Everyone’s preferred style and frequency of texting are different; therefore, for healthy communication in a relationship, you need to check your texting compatibility with your partner.
Understanding and respecting each other’s digital communication style is essential to avoid any miscommunication.
If you notice that you tend to initiate texts more than them or feel their emotions don’t show through, bring it up and talk about it.
If you don’t talk about it, one partner might think the other isn’t invested enough in the relationship, or you both might start feeling distant.
Ultimately texting compatibility is important for a successful relationship as texting has become a significant part of communication these days.
2. Be Descriptive To Avoid Miscommunication
Talking over texts is largely based on imagination. You tell your stories through text messages, but your partner’s imagination adds life to them.
Frequently, we compromise on intent and clarity when we prioritize brevity. Without gauging the other person’s expressions or hearing their tone of voice, we often lose the human element of communication.
Striking the right tone might require making your texts more personal. Use the wide range of gifs and emojis available to your benefit to add spice to your texts.
Sometimes all you need is to send an emoji to describe your mood.
3. Save Confrontations For Face-To-Face Meetups
Whenever you find yourself arguing on text messages, it’s crucial that you both hit the pause button and resume later.
Starting a fight over text robs you and your partner of context and tone and the ability to look at the other person and see how they really feel.
Missing these visual cues during a disagreement can cause the fight to escalate more quickly.
The most dangerous thing about fighting over text is that it never goes away and can leave permanent scars in your relationship.
Avoiding fights via text isn’t always easy but always take a minute to cool down and think before you respond.
4. Avoid Excessive And Obsessive Texting
Texting all day can be fun initially, but along the way, it can turn into a toxic habit and scare your partner away.
Texting does make your partner just a ping away from you, but excessive texting could indicate that you are clingy and needy. That could annoy your partner, especially in a budding relationship.
While you should aim for consistent communication, texting obsessively and being overly available can crowd your life and become a chore for both of you.
In the end, how much you and your partner decide to text is personal, but moderation is the key to finding the right balance in your communication habits.
Strong relationships are always built upon good communication, and in this digital age, texting has the power to break or make a relationship. Texting is quick and helps people stay connected through hell and high water, but it’s not without its pitfalls.
When we communicate face to face, we pick up on people’s tone of voice and emotions between the lines, but much of that gets lost in translation when texting. While healthy communication looks different for every couple, understanding your partner’s texting style and preferences is essential to strengthening your connection with each other. Really, the point is this: when in doubt, meet the person and talk it out.