Does Online Dating Work For Guys? | How To Make It Work!

You changed that profile picture ten times. No matches. You changed your bio a hundred times. No matches. You got a whole makeover and got photographed professionally. Still, no matches. Just what are you doing wrong? Is there no hope for you on dating apps? Or is there some hope amongst the clouds of dry likes and non-matches?

Online dating may not work for straight guys because of extreme competition with other men, the limited attention span of the ladies in the apps, unrealistic expectations from women, or even discrimination prevalent in the apps. The men may also withdraw from online dating due to catfishing and frauds.

Let’s look at the reasons in detail.

Why Online Dating Isn’t Working For You?

1. Competition

Online dating platforms can be highly competitive for men.

The gender ratio on dating apps tends to be heavily skewed towards men, which means that men have to work harder to get noticed and stand out from the crowd.

Additionally, many women receive a lot of messages from men on dating apps, which can make it harder for men to get their messages heard or their profiles viewed.

This is a classic supply-demand issue, where the supply (of men) is much greater than the demand (by the ladies). Who knew economics isn’t just for money but for humans, too, eh?


2. Limited Attention Span

In today’s world of Tik Toks and reels and YouTube shorts and blah blah blah, the attention span of people is getting reduced to that of a goldfish.

The fast-paced nature of the world around them has made people on dating apps very quick to swipe left or right based on first impressions.

This can be challenging for men who may not have as much time to dedicate to crafting the perfect profile or sending thoughtful messages.

After all, not everyone wants to dedicate their entire brainpower to their dating profile, right? As a result, men may struggle to make a lasting impression or to get noticed in a sea of other profiles.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

This is the era of K-Dramas and romantic novels, which has made the standards of women a bit too, well, out-of-reach (for men to reach there and for women to get that).

Thus, some women on dating apps may have unrealistic expectations about the type of partner they want or the standards they expect them to meet.

This can be discouraging for men who feel like they don’t fit the mold or who feel like they are constantly being judged based on their appearance, job, or other superficial qualities.

The “appearance” based judgmental nature of online dating tends to be extra-punishable for men, with the whole supply-demand thing lurking in the background.

Unrealistic Expectations

4. Risk Of Scams Or Catfishing

Unfortunately, there are people who use online dating platforms to deceive others or scam them out of money.

This can be especially frustrating for men who may feel like they are constantly on guard for fake profiles or suspicious behavior.

In some cases, men may be targeted specifically because they are perceived as being more vulnerable or more likely to fall for a scam, considering the desperation prevalent in the male dating scene (no offense!).

This often makes the men with less risk appetite withdraw from engaging in online dating too much and only have a cursory interest in it, leading to reduced efforts and lack of success.

5. Limited Opportunities For Communication

Many dating apps only allow users to communicate through the app itself, which can limit the depth and quality of conversations.

People are also a bit reserved in sharing their actual social media handles or phone numbers with their “matches”, so the conversation gets limited in the app itself.

This can make it harder for men to connect with potential partners on a meaningful level, as they may be limited to exchanging brief messages or responding to pre-written prompts.

Additionally, some men may struggle with expressing themselves effectively through written communication, which can make it harder for them to connect with others online.

Written communication also tends to lack expressiveness (yes, even with the use of your favorite emojis), as the subtle and spontaneous nature of verbal conversations gets lost in texts.

Limited Opportunities For Communication

6. Bias And Discrimination

Online dating, just like real life, can also be subject to bias and discrimination, which can impact men just as much as women.

In fact, people tend to remove their masks online and reveal their true selves, which can be unpleasant, to say the least.

This can include racial or ethnic bias, ageism, or discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity.

For example, some dating apps may not be as welcoming to LGBTQ+ individuals or may cater primarily to younger, more conventionally attractive users.

This can make it harder for men who don’t fit these categories to find success on dating apps.

But how to overcome these things? Let’s look at some ways you can make online dating work for you.

How To Make Online Dating Work For You?

1. Be Genuine And Authentic

Ah, the classic Reboot Love Life advice. We have always recommended it and will continue to do so. After all, it is the advice when it comes to finding love and sustaining it.

And it applies equally well in the online dating scene too. One of the best ways to stand out on dating apps is to be yourself.

Rather than trying to present a fake or idealized version of yourself, be honest about who you are and what you’re looking for.

Avoid using fake or heavily filtered photos, and write a bio that showcases your unique personality and interests.

This can help you attract people who are genuinely interested in getting to know you instead of going after those who are incompatible with the real “you”. 

Be Genuine And Authentic

2. Take The Time To Create A Strong Profile

We know you might be a bit uncomfortable with the online dating antics, considering their appearance-centric methodologies, but as they say, “When in Rome, act like the Romans”.

You have to play the game to win or lose automatically. Making your profile count is crucial since it is the initial impression you create on potential matches.

Choose good photos that show you in a positive light, maybe get a few photos of you professionally photographed or some candid ones from your phone, and write a bio that is clear, concise, and showcases your unique personality and interests.

Remember to highlight what makes you unique, and avoid clichés or generic statements.

3. Be Energetic In Your Messaging

Rather than waiting for matches to message you first, take the initiative and send thoughtful messages to people who you find attractive (be it through appearance or the profile/bio).

Read their profiles carefully and ask questions that show you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them. Be respectful and friendly, and keep the conversation light and positive.

Get the conversation going and try to have a first date/meetup soon (but not too soon) to break the “online” barrier.

4. Use Multiple Dating Apps

“Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

Different dating apps have different user bases and features, so it can be a good idea to try out a few different ones to see which works best for you.

Experimenting with different apps can also help you expand your dating pool and meet people you might not have encountered otherwise. Be sure to choose apps that cater to your interests and preferences.

Use Multiple Dating Apps

5. Be Open-minded And Adaptable

Finally, it’s important to be open-minded and adaptable when it comes to online dating. Be willing to try new things, be open to meeting different types of people, and be flexible in your approach.

Don’t be too rigid in your expectations or requirements, as this can limit your dating pool and make it harder to find a good match.

Instead, keep an open mind and be willing to step outside of your comfort zone to find someone who is truly compatible with you. Increase your risk appetite just a bit and see wonders happen.


Online dating has become the go-to way for the new generation to find dates and, hopefully, love. But it comes with its own set of problems and struggles, especially for men.

We hope the article helped you gain new perspectives with this and would help you navigate the world of online dating better!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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