5 UNFILTERED PROs and CONs of Having a Boyfriend

The idea of finding love is so dreamy! But is it always all rainbows and unicorns? Having a boyfriend has its perks, but you also tend to lose quite a bit as well.

Having a boyfriend can certainly make you feel less lonely and more loved in life. You constantly feel reassured, safer, and secure and have someone you get along with to split responsibility. However, building this safe space takes a ton of work, devotion, and sacrifice too.

If you’re wondering whether or not you want to step into the dating game, let’s see what your life can look like after getting a boyfriend.

Advantages Of Having A Boyfriend

1. You’re Never Truly Alone

The best part about having a boyfriend is that you almost always have someone to rely on. You are one of his top priorities and the person they want to come to when they’re free.

You have someone you can try new things with without feeling embarrassed or shy.

Even when they aren’t around physically, you can feel at peace knowing someone is one call away if something happens or you need aid.

You have someone to see or talk to daily, and you don’t have to think twice before calling them up when you want to.

You’re Never Truly Alone

2. The Little Things Become Special

As you fall in love, you stop glorifying the big things as much and start finding everyday moments special and valuable. You enjoy quiet date nights, such as movies with cozy blankets, more than night outs.

You start having fun cooking together, working in the same space, or going grocery shopping. You crack jokes, make mistakes, learn, and grow together.

Cherishing life’s mundane activities becomes much easier for you when you have a boyfriend that loves you, makes you laugh, or cares for you.

You’re still excited about your wedding plans, graduation, promotions, or that big trip.

But you start loving the journey and the process of obtaining them with your partner much more than the actual outcome.

3. You Feel More Secure in Life

As you continue to build a stronger bond with your boyfriend, you slowly feel more stable and secure in your life. There’s a lot more certainty in your life and what you want to do with it.

The level of security can depend both on your age and the level of commitment shared between the two of you.

When you start seeing a future together, your life plans become more grounded and specific. You will find that you have a lot more clarity about all the things you truly want.

On top of it, your boyfriend stands like a protective shield in case you screw up. One failure does not mean the end of your life anymore.

4. Life’s Burdens Feel Much Lighter

With a boyfriend who loves you, you have someone backing you up and standing by through ebbs and flows. Difficult situations feel much lighter when you have a boyfriend to share them with.

The loss of a job, a failed plan, moving out to a new city – all of it is much easier when you have someone with you. And if things get too much, you always have a shoulder to cry on.

On harder days, you can curl up in your blanket and rest since your boyfriend can take care of some of your duties.

Lunch would still be made, and the dishes would still be done – your rest does not hinder survival-based responsibilities.

5. You Get an Endless Supply of Affection

And the best part about having a boyfriend – you get a ton of love! There’s no better feeling in the world than to be loved and cared for.

When you have a boyfriend, you can cuddle anytime, get hugs and kisses, have someone to compliment you when you’re feeling down, and have little surprises that make your day.

Everyone’s love language might be different, and it might even take both of you a while to get used to it. But when you learn how your partner shows you love, you will feel drenched in affection every day!

Disadvantages Of Having A Boyfriend

1. You Have to Constantly Adapt

People are always changing. As circumstances differ, you and your boyfriend will also keep changing habits, beliefs, behaviors, and thought patterns.

However, when you’re with someone, you must constantly keep aligning with their changes to maintain a healthy relationship.

You may (and should) still maintain your individuality, but you have to constantly shift your own goals and visions to align with him or come to find a middle ground with him.

All of it is a lot of work to put in on top of the effort that you have to put into yourself to thrive.

You Have to Constantly Adapt

2. Scheduling Becomes Much Harder

Just the same as little everyday habits or major life goals – your schedule also revolves around another person. E.g., when you’re alone, you can just take a trip on your vacation days.

But with a boyfriend, you might have to work around finding common vacation days to get that dream trip together.

Whether it’s sharing tasks, planning night outs or weekends, or finding time off, you have to constantly look at two schedules and devise a smart plan if you want things to work out smoothly.

3. You Become More Dependent

If you’re lucky, your boyfriend probably ends up taking care of you pretty often.

He shares chores with you, takes on a major chunk of responsibility, and helps you out in areas you’re not as well-versed in – and before you realize it, you end up too used to him.

With a boyfriend, the idea of ending up single again can be dreadful. Of course, the loss of love is great. But it’s often so bad because we just don’t know how to take care of life alone.

Dependencies can take the form of physical aid (such as sharing everyday tasks you have to perform), emotional support (like needing your boyfriend every time something spirals down), or relying on his financial support for your financial security and survival.

Either of which can be terrible for your sense of being as an individual.

4. Sacrifices Become a Way of Life

Having a boyfriend may not seem to involve a lot of sacrifices – but keeping a boyfriend sure does. But it’s not a one-time or two-time thing. Rather, sacrificing becomes the usual norm.

Maybe you want to go out but your boyfriend’s sick? You want to move to a different state, but your boyfriend is not in a situation to support moving with you?

Or perhaps you got promoted to a new role in a different city?

And it’s not just the big things. You like spicy food, but he can’t seem to tolerate it. You enjoy partying out, and he likes staying in. You may alternate your sacrifices, but they’re still there.

5. Your Life is Threatened By a Heartbreak

The worst part of having a boyfriend is the thought that one day you might just not. To have a boyfriend means to put yourself out there in a vulnerable state. There are just so many things that could go wrong.

Both of you might end up having separate goals and plans. He might cheat on you. He might just fall out of love someday.

You may have the best boyfriend in the world who loves you to death – but these possibilities never get completely ruled out.

Sometimes, there might be only a 1% chance, but it can still happen. 

The PROs Outweigh the CONs With the Right Guy…

Relationships can be scary, especially if you’re new to them, have been on a long break, or had the worst heartbreak recently.

You may just not feel like you’re ready to put in the work that comes with having a boyfriend. 

However, with the right person, the pros are definitely worth the cons. Thinking too much into it can often ruin the experience for you.

If you’re looking to decide whether having a boyfriend is worth it or not – why not give it a shot one step at a time?

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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