How To Tell If Someone Is Cheating Over Text? | Clear Signs

It’s a scary feeling – to think that your partner is not in love with you anymore. Worse, they’re lying to you about it.

Generally, when someone cheats on their partner, their behavior starts shifting suddenly and drastically. When they are cheating over text, you will start seeing a lot of changes around their phone usage – such as they are on their phones too much or they don’t trust you with their privacy.

Seeing a set of signs should get your attention flowing to clear the air, but they do not make it certain. Make sure to read the signs well and in-depth to be sure of their cheating and not out of paranoia.

Signs Someone Is Cheating Over Text

1. They pay more attention to their phones

We all love our phones and the apps that keep us hooked on them. But if you see a sudden change in your partner’s mobile phone usage, you might want to pay more heed to it.

Often finding your partner being on their phone when you’re talking to them, on date nights, or during times you’ve planned to spend together can be a sign your partner is texting someone else. 

Other signs that can give it off are when they look their phones up at every notification, even when they’re doing something important, or their phone is the first thing they want to look at after an activity.

It’s almost as if they have to update someone every time they’ve gone MIA.

They pay more attention to their phones

2. They are hesitant to hand over their phone

Cheaters don’t want to get caught. Your partner might want (which they do have a right for) to have their own privacy.

But a cheater might react over every tiny instance that has nothing to do with you invading their privacy. For e.g., your partner hesitates to let you use their phone to make a call if your own phone is inaccessible.

They’re a little too possessive and would not want to let you have their phone in your hands – even for simple tasks. 

They wouldn’t want to share the content they’re watching on their phone with you – they’ll simply share everything on your phone instead, even if you’re sitting next to each other.

3. They are always texting

Finding your partner always texting can be a huge red flag. Almost no one, especially in the adult world, has time to text other people all the time.

It is usually a phase for two people who have gained fresh interest in each other – like falling in love.

If your partner is always texting, even during the late hours of the night or early hours of the day – it can be a sign that your partner is cheating on you through text.

They may not have started engaging in erotic conversations, but they most likely are emotionally cheating on you and actively displaying interest in someone else.

Read my article on ‘Is Flirty Text Cheating?‘ to understand the nuances of the situation.

4. They delete texts frequently

Do you often find your partner trying to secretly delete chats, images, or certain text messages? This can signify that your partner is trying to hide something from you.

Certain applications, such as Snapchat, leave behind a trail of deleted messages. But in other cases, you might have to see through conversations.

If you look closely at a conversation, you may find gaps where answers do not necessarily seem relevant, the topic of conversation changes abruptly, and it just feels unnatural to you.

However, the most common tell-tale sign would be their hand gestures when using their phones. But you may need to observe it quite a few times to be certain.

5. They don’t like to share who they’re texting with

Partners who are cheating often tend to become more secretive or defensive – and not just in terms of privacy.

When you ask your partner who they’re texting while the two of you are out on a date or chatting at night, and they either dodge the question, get cranky, or gaslight you into thinking you’re being paranoid – they are most likely hiding someone from you.

With time, they may have become more proficient at hiding it. It is usually the first couple of times your questions may take them aback. But you can still catch them lying in their answers.

A partner that is too avoidant of answering questions is always a huge red flag.

People also don’t like sharing with their current partners that they’re texting an ex to avoid making them feel bad or insecure.

I have an article on Cheating and Texting an Ex to help you understand for sure when and when not is texting an ex equivalent to cheating.

They do not like to share who they are texting with

6. They hide their phone screen often

Most partners, especially those in long-term relationships, don’t have much to hide. They aren’t embarrassed about their feeds or their music.

Your partner shouldn’t have much cause for hiding or you for peeping.

But if your partner constantly tilts their screen away when you sit next to them or locks it the second you walk in – there’s a high chance they’re cheating on you in some way.

They always keep their phone screen down and never let a notification pop up or respond to texts in your presence.

7. They throw a tantrum when you try to discuss your concern

Reactions can give a lot away about a person.

If you are calmly sitting down to express your concern about their behavior or have a simple conversation over your relationship and they go all berserk immediately – it can be a cause of concern.

It is because they know they are in the wrong and think that they’ve been caught.

It triggers their defense mechanisms immediately, and they try to put it all back on you rather than taking responsibility for their actions.

If your partner starts being dramatic without you doing anything to trigger it, this implies that there is some truth to your concerns.

8. They’re cold on text with you

Most partners, when they start cheating, lose their interest in you. Being cheated on text can imply that your partner has also lost interest in texting you.

They are too caught up engaging with the other person and see your texts as more of a responsibility to fulfill.

They may frequently leave you on seen or not reply entirely to your text messages. They may also have adapted to a different texting style from their new partner and may feel odd to you.

9. Or suddenly, they’re being super sweet and romantic

On the flip side, certain partners tend to go overboard trying to hide that they’re cheating on you. Sudden changes in their behavior make things like these pretty obvious.

If your partner, out of the blue, starts acting really sweet and romantic towards you, especially at odd hours or in odd settings – you should start paying more attention to it. 

This can happen especially after a fresh incident where your partner might feel they’re about to get caught.

They may start calling you cute names, buying you gifts, and texting you more as well so that you don’t feel anything is wrong when it clearly is.

Or suddenly they are being super sweet and romantic

10. Their contact names are inaccurate.

One of the clearest signs of your partner hiding someone from you is finding out that a person on their contact list is actually not that person.

Giving someone the name of the opposite gender that they’re not attracted to, a client, or a service they use are common attempts in trying to hide someone.

However, if you find them contacting these people during inappropriate times or acting differently than they would with such a contact – they’re lying.

Even if there’s nothing sensual going on, such lying or emotional intimacies are also cheating.


Being cheated on is one of the most devastating things a person can go through. It’s easy to either be blinded and pretend everything is fine or become paranoid and think over every little detail.

Both of these cases are harmful to you. Don’t just jump to conclusions when you see these signs. Neither should you try to justify them.

You should always first investigate and observe, and your last resort should be to have a direct conversation.

How big of a deal cheating over text is can only be determined by you.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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