Is It Normal To Still Love My Ex? | Handling Your Emotions

The love of your life became your ex one day. You imagined being with them forever, but life had different plans.

It is normal to still love your ex even after a long time. Love is something in which you invest your emotions, time, and effort. You can’t expect the feelings to simply vanish. Your love took time to grow, and it will take time for the memories to fade away. Do not feel guilty.

How much time it will take to disappear is proportional to how deeply you were in love with your ex.

Before We Begin

You loved someone with all your heart, gave everything to the relationship, made them your priority, felt the happiest with them, and, one day, everything came crashing down.

The person you loved unconditionally is no longer in your life and your life starts to feel meaningless.

We know it can be annoying not to be able to leave the memories behind and move on.

If you still feel for your ex, don’t feel guilty about it because just like loving someone, forgetting someone requires time.

You may feel helpless at this moment, but you need to stay strong and have patience, let time take its course.

What Do You Do When You Still Love Your Ex?

If you still love your ex, reach out to them one last time if you are single. Let things develop from there. If you are in a relationship, it would be unwise to do so because your partner will feel bad. End the current relationship to avoid a mess because you still have strong feelings for your ex.

Your Ex Still Cares About You

You might have been trying hard to move on, but reaching out to your ex will bring you back to square one.

Sometimes people forgive each other and get back together, and sometimes they end up hating each other for life.

You are the judge of whether or not talking to your ex again is a good idea, based on your breakup and how your ex behaved.

If you are sure about still being in love with your ex and want to do something about it, there are two approaches.

Either you try to get back with your ex, or you decide to forget and move on no matter what.

But before you get too hopeful, here is some data.

TABLE: People Getting Back Together After A Breakup Post The 6-month Mark

Got back together and still going strong1%
Got back together but broke up within a year23%
Got back together but broke up after a year4%
Never got back together72%
Source: A survey conducted by with 418 participants who wanted to get back with their ex at some point in their life.

Whatever you do, think it through because you don’t want you to regret your decision for the rest of your life.

1. If You Want To Patch Up

If you feel that your love, connection with your ex is stronger than whatever separated you two, then it’s completely fine to give your ex another shot.

However, don’t make such a decision right after a breakup. Give it some time. We recommend at least 3-6 months of separation before deciding to get back together.

If later on, you still feel this way, then talk to your ex. However, both of you should be on the same page regarding getting back.

If your ex is out there dating someone else, the relationship is not worth a shot.

Clearly, your ex has a different mindset than yours. Do not force them or beg them to patch up. The decision to get back together should be mutual.

If both of you do decide to get together, you should be able to move past whatever the reason was for your breakup.

If you think that the problem can be resolved and both of you will be happy together, then definitely, you should give your ex and this relationship another chance.

2. You Still Love Them But Want To Move On

If you are adamant about getting over your ex, then you need to accept that you two are not together because of a reason and you can’t make amends to it.

No matter how hard you try, both of you won’t be able to live together like before. What’s broken in your heart can never be mended.

Assure yourself of the fact that you don’t want them in your life at any cost and there is not even a single chance that you would give to this relationship.

Your ex is an ex for a reason. Lose all sorts of contacts with them, and cease to exist in their life.

Spend more and more time with your family and friends. Make a soulful connection with yourself.

Still Have Feelings For An Ex But In A Relationship?

It is okay to still have feelings for an ex but be in a relationship simultaneously. It doesn’t mean you are cheating on your current partner. It suggests that your emotions are unresolved. Figure out whether it is a good idea to be with someone else when you have strong feelings for your ex.

Sometimes it’s hard to know whether or not you are over your ex. You jump into a new relationship when you are still not at all ready.

People get into new relationships instantly after a breakup to get over their previous ones.

Doing so makes things even more complicated for them when they realize they are not over their ex yet. What to do in such a situation?

1. You Need To Understand Your Feelings

It can be possible that you don’t love your ex, but you are just missing them due to being accustomed to their presence.

Sometimes you see something that reminds you of them, but it can’t possibly mean you love them and you should get back together.

If you are not getting what you had in your last relationship, you may miss them even more.

However, it doesn’t mean you can not work things out with your present partner.

Still, if the feeling is too strong and you are not at all happy where ever you are right now, then you should be clear about your feelings first.

Figure out what you want and do not complicate things for your current partner, yourself, and your ex.

You Need To Understand Your Feelings

2. Talk To Your Current Partner

If you strongly believe that it’s not going to work out between you two as you can not forget your ex then talk about it with your partner.

Let them know exactly how you feel about this relationship and what you want. Be honest and make them understand your point of view.

Accept that you were not ready for a new relationship. Don’t stay with them if you feel you can’t give your hundred percent to the relationship.

Make a decision together or take some time apart. Give them the time to process everything.

Do not take any actions without confessing your feelings to your current partner because you don’t want to regret it later on.

3. Make A Decision And Stick To It

You still love your ex, and you can’t get into a relationship as you still actively think about them. However, does it mean you should get back with them?

You need to decide what exactly do you want. Take some time off from dating and refrain from getting into a relationship. Work on your feelings for your ex.

You do not want to be caught in a situation where neither you are talking to your ex about getting back nor being able to move forward.

Once you make a decision, stick to it firmly.

We have lost count of the number of people who decide they do not want to get back with their ex only to find themselves calling their ex repeatedly and begging them to get back.

Similarly, many decide to get back and end up regretting their decision within a week and break up again soon.

Whatever it is you choose, think about the long term consequences beforehand.

How Do You Know If You Still Love Your Ex?

Sometimes we are confused between the feeling of still loving someone or missing them. Missing someone doesn’t equate to loving them.

To know if you still love your ex, imagine them being intimate with someone else. Does the thought bring tears to your eyes or make you extremely uncomfortable? If yes, then you have unresolved feelings for your ex because you still love them.

Sometimes what may feel like unresolved love to us might be an effect of nostalgia. However, it is very easy to figure out if it is truly love for your ex.

You just need to analyze your emotions, actions, and you’ll find the answers right away.

1. You Still Miss Your Ex

You always reminisce. Nothing around the world satisfies you, and it always feels like something is missing.

You want to be around your ex, and you miss their company all the time.

You spend most of your time going through their pictures or looking at the souvenirs from the relationship.

Whenever you are happy or sad, you miss your ex, and sometimes you miss them so badly that it makes you cry.

Whenever you watch a movie or visit a place or hear something your ex used to say or anything related to you two, you get emotional and miss them even more.

2. You Are Always Thinking About Your Ex

A day hasn’t gone by where the thought of your ex hasn’t crossed your mind. The time that you’ve spent together with them is always in your head.

Every night you close your eyes and start picturing all the happy times with your ex.

You still wonder what went wrong, why you two couldn’t make it, and how a person who was once so madly in love with you can forget you so easily.

You think what you will say to them when you’ll meet by chance, or if they call you. Whenever you talk to your friends, you talk about your ex.

You always wonder if they also miss being with you or how difficult it would be for them as well to stay apart.

You Are Always Thinking About Your Ex

3. You Are Constantly In Touch With Your Ex

Even though you both are not together, you still feel the need to stay in contact with your ex.

You can’t stop worrying about their well being, and you want to make sure they are doing well in their life.

Not only you still care about them, but you also may call them sometimes just to know whether they are okay.

You don’t want your ex to forget you, so every now and then, you text them.

Every time something exciting happens to you or you are going through a rough time, the first call goes to your ex, no matter if they pick or not.

You always look forward to meeting them accidentally, or you find yourself looking for excuses to invite them to meet you.

There is always an urge to stay connected with your ex.

4. You Stalk Your Ex Every Day

Ever since the breakup, you haven’t stopped stalking your ex over social media, be it through your account or using one of your friends.

You want to stay tuned with whatever your ex is doing. Checking their id at least ten times a day is a routine with you.

Not surprisingly, you feel relieved by seeing no one else is in their life and take it as a signal that they are also not over you.

Further, you want to know what they are posting and try to gauge whether or not they are heartbroken like you.

You look for a hint whether if they are still single so that you can get back together with your ex.

5. You Are Not Able To Move On

It’s been a lot of time since your breakup, but you are not able to move on in your life.

Every time you go out on a date or just meet someone randomly, you intentionally pull yourself back.

Not letting the chemistry grow because you still hope your ex will come back in your life is what you’ve been actively doing.

Further, you are not ready to let go of the idea that no one is better than your ex and feel no one can make you as happy as when you were with them.

You are scared that you will never find someone like your ex, and you want to try again and again to patch things with them.

Secretly, you have been wishing for a future together with your ex.

Can An Ex Still Have Feelings For You?

Your ex can still have feelings for you after several years. They have a history with you, and emotions do not disappear in one night. All the memories and happy moments can make them miss you irrespective of whether or not they are single.

Here are some major signs that show that your ex still feels for you.

1. Your Ex Contacts You Frequently

You find your ex calling you most of the time, and when you talk to them, it feels as if you guys never broke up.

They tell you everything that’s going on in their life and with you, and they are still as comfortable with you as nothing ever happened.

Also, they feel happy while talking to you and frequently let you know how much they miss being with you or how great you both were together.

Let’s not forget the drunk confessions. Every time your ex is drunk, they call you to say how much they love you and try to resolve everything.

They send you text messages from time to time. They come up with all sorts of reasons to continually be in touch with you.

2. Your Ex Acts Jealous 

If your ex still gets jealous about others in your life, then it means they still have strong feelings for you.

If you post something on social media with friends or someone new, your ex immediately contacts you to know about this new person.

They will behave all possessive and will give you stupid reasons on how bad it is for you to trust strangers easily and how you should not be doing so.

Does your ex try to make you jealous by telling you about their date or how they find someone very attractive?

If yes, then this is another hint that your ex wants to see how you react to their current interest and do you feel jealous by knowing about it.

It could be a way for them to know if you still feel for them in any way.

Your Ex Acts Jealous

3. Your Ex Is Still Interested In Your Life

After a breakup, people usually like to avoid any contact with their previous partner and move on.

If you find your ex continuously involved in your life, then it’s another sign. Your ex wants to know everything about your life, and they don’t want to miss an update.

They are still friends with you on your social media, or they stalk you from different accounts. Keeping tabs on your activities seems to be their favorite activity these days.

They keep asking you about your love life or if you are dating anyone, to see if you have moved on.

Your ex talks to your friends and tries to find out how you feel about the breakup. They want to know if you are still feeling for them or you are over them.

4. Your Ex Is Still Single

One of the major signs that your ex still feels for you is if they are single since you both broke up.

Your ex hasn’t dated even a single person after the two of you separated.

It could mean that they are still finding it hard to move on in their life without you or they are waiting/hoping to get back with you one day.

It can also mean that they are not in a state of mind to get involved in any relationship. If this sign is mixed with other signs, they still love you.

They feel that no one can take your place in their life, or they can’t feel that same chemistry with anyone else.

5. Your Ex Still Cares About You

Does your ex keep reaching out to know your whereabouts or find excuses to be in touch and see if you are doing alright?

It could mean they still feel for you. No matter how mad they are at you or how ugly your breakup was, they will always want to be by your side and care for you.

Every time you go through something bad, they are there to listen and console you. Even after the breakup, your ex is always available for you.

They never say they are busy or can’t talk. They ask you to catch up, or they ‘accidentally’ bump into you very frequently.

Every time you speak to them, you feel that they still care for you.



Not being able to forget your ex and moving on is frustrating. But being in love with your ex even after a lot of time has passed is normal.

Figuring out your feelings will help you in making a firm decision. Sometimes your ex is worth giving a chance, and sometimes it can be the biggest mistake of your life.

Analyze your ex’s past behavior at the time of your breakup and then decide. Now tell us, will you approach your ex again or will you let them go forever? Comment!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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