Reasons For Dating A Guy | Why He is the One?

So you have finally decided to start dating seriously, but you are confused as to what actually makes a guy dateable? Is it 6-pack abs as shown in action movies? Or is it a sweet, kind guy? Or a mix of both? We understand your situation. After all, the market is flooded with guys showing one or all qualities, and you just can’t seem to figure out your own preferences, maybe due to a lack of experience. Well, we are here to help, as always.

Some reasons why you should date a guy are: you’re physically attracted to him, he is kind, his sense of humor matches yours, he has similar interests and hobbies as you, he is confident, dependable, supportive, thoughtful, adventurous, and selfless. If he is a good listener, then that’s even better.

Let’s look at the reasons in detail.

Primary Reasons For Dating A Guy

1. Physical Attraction

Let’s get the obvious out first. As much as we would like to deny it, physical attraction is an important thing in a relationship and can sometimes make or break the relationship.

Humans are shallow, at least a little bit, and we know that even you would prefer a guy you are physically attracted to.

So try to look for someone who matches your preferences, whatever they may be. It’s important to be honest with yourselves here instead of following the usual Hollywood-influenced stereotypes.

Hence, we are not listing any particular features that we feel you should be attracted towards; decide for yourselves and go along with that.

I’ve covered more on this topic in my article on: Can You Love Someone You’re Not Physically Attracted To?

2. Good/Matching Sense Of Humor

One of the paramount qualities of a person’s personality is their sense of humor, and your partner having a good sense of humor can be a big boost for both of you.

A guy having the ability to crack jokes, take things lightly, and just have an overall fun vibe can make things light-hearted for you and him both, leading to a happy and fulfilling relationship.

A shared sense of humor is like a cherry on the cake.

Being able to share jokes and laughs with each other is a boon for a relationship, as it not only keeps things positive but also helps alleviate tension and diffuse difficult situations in the long run.

Having a matching sense of humor also helps you build a comfortable space around your guy, making the relationship comfortable and an overall “safe space” for you (and for him too).

GoodMatching Sense Of Humor

3. Kindness

Kindness is a universal virtue. It makes a human more human, as the ability to sympathize and empathize is an innately human thing.

A guy who is kind and compassionate will understand you on a deeper level and not just the superficial layers that you show the world.

He will empathize with your problems and provide a safe and secure space for you to be, well, you.

You won’t have to hide anything from such a guy and will be able to live freely without the fear of being judged for your faults or mistakes.

4. Intelligent

If you are one who likes to have intellectual discussions regarding various stuff, an intelligent guy would satiate all such cravings of yours.

Having conversations beyond the usual small talk is a common expectation in relationships.

Having meaningful discussions regarding philosophy, science, astronomy, or whatever floats your boat will make the relationship intellectually stimulating for you, leading to better connection and bonding.

Also, the fact that you can learn new things from your partner is an added bonus, thus, increasing your own intellect beyond its current state.


5. Shared Interests/Hobbies

You must have fantasized about reading the same book with your future partner. Or listen to that same underground band with one earpiece in you while the other one is in him.

Or maybe even painting together. Or going for a trek together to that tall mountain in your state.

These all aren’t just fantasies but reality for a lot of people who choose to date a person who has the same hobbies/interests as themselves.

Sharing hobbies and doing activities together is a recommended way to build a strong relationship.

It becomes easier when both of you actually want to do the same stuff – only that now you two are going to do it together.

This builds a closer connection and makes the time you spend with your guy more enjoyable for both of you.

6. Shared Values

Having a guy who shares similar values, beliefs, and ideologies as a partner can be a soothing experience for you.

It will enable you to think freely in front of him and to have similar beliefs, be it political, religious, or anything else.

It will not only lead to fewer arguments but also lead to a more content experience for you with him in life.

On top of that, having common life goals and aspirations will lead to having common (or even shared) objectives, which will make you two closer and make the bond stronger and the relationship longer.

Shared Values

7. Good Communication

Communication is key to a relationship, and both partners need to communicate effectively with each other, be it during good or troublesome times.

Thus, having a guy who is comfortable enough to communicate freely and efficiently with you will make the relationship healthy.

Good communication skills will help resolve the inevitable conflicts faster and will lead you two to have a more understanding and respectful dynamic between each other, making the relationship long-lasting.

8. Confidence

Confidence is attractive. There’s a reason the first advice the dating gurus give to guys is to be confident effortlessly.

A guy who is confident in himself and is unafraid to be himself in front of the world is not just appealing but also inspiring.

His self-assuredness and ability to take charge and make decisions will provide a safe space for you to live your life candidly.

You will also observe that confident guys are humble enough to rely on you, too, when they don’t know something and not just treat you as a damsel in distress.

Their confidence in themselves gives them the backing to be humble and vulnerable enough to accept their shortcomings and seek help from others when needed and not be arrogant and self-absorbed.

This will make you an equal part of the relationship and also enable you to be free to express yourself whenever you want and however you want without the guy getting insecure.


9. Dependability

Seeking comfort and a safe space in a relationship is a crucial aspect of being in one, and thus, a guy who is dependable and is able to follow through on his commitments can give you both of that plus some more.

Being able to rely on him, or rather having a partner whom you can rely on comfortably for support in any situation, is a must-have in a relationship.

We all need support from our close ones, so it’s no surprise we need it the most from our closest ones.

10. Supportive

A boyfriend who supports your ambitions, dreams, and goals and encourages you to pursue them is a gold mine; trust us. Not many guys are secure like that.

And having your partner supporting you through your entire journey to success can be a game-changer in keeping you sane and moving through the obstacles, albeit with your own effort.

After all, a good shoulder to sleep on after a hard day’s work can make all the tiredness vanish in a night, and you will be ready to take on the new day – all refreshed.

11. Adventurous

Excitement is something that is a common desire in relationships.

Things can get boring (by boring, we mean mundane and not stable), so trying new things together can keep the relationship fresh and elevated throughout.

And an adventurous guy is the best bet for this. He will keep things moving almost always and will try new things and activities with you.

His outgoing attitude towards this will make both of you experience interesting stuff regularly, thus, keeping the relationship in a fresh and happening state.

He will make you embrace new experiences, which will further add meaningful value to your overall life too.


12. Thoughtfulness

Remember that time when your friend told you how her boyfriend brought her favorite cake for her when she was having a bad day, and it made her feel better?

Yeah, that’s the kind of thing we are going for here.

A thoughtful and considerate guy will remember all the small as well as big details about you and will shower you with love and affection using small gestures and surprises on a regular basis, with big ones sprinkled in between.

He will make you feel appreciated and cared for, giving you the kind of love that you rightfully deserve.

In fact, with time, it will be the small surprises that you will remember the most, as they are the ones that really pull our heartstrings.

13. Generosity

Selflessness is a virtue that is regarded highly by many. A generous, selfless guy who puts others’ needs above his own has a character that is praised by the world.

He will prioritize you and will ensure that your needs are always taken care of and that you always feel safe, loved, and desired in the relationship.

Self-absorbed guys are to be avoided as they tend to be narcissists, while the selfless ones are the ones you should go for – they will keep you happy and content by building a relationship on kindness, trust, and liberality.


14. Sense Of Responsibility

Being able to take responsibility for your actions and decisions is an admirable trait in any human.

Particularly in relationships, a responsible guy will not just take ownership of all his actions/decisions, regardless of whether them being good or bad for the relationship, but will also try to rectify any mistakes that he made.

By doing this, he ensures that the relationship is built on a strong foundation of trust and respect, which provides security and stability to the relationship in the long run.

15. Respectfulness

Respect is one of the core things required to keep a relationship from becoming a mess. It is a crucial thing in not just a romantic but almost any relationship.

A guy who respects you and the relationship is one to look out for.

And it’s not the good and happy times where this will be required, but rather the tumultuous times when things will not be going good between you two and whether he keeps the respect intact even in such times.

After all, the virtues of a man are made during good times but tested during the bad ones.

16. Emotional Stability

Building on the previous point, a guy who is mature and able to handle his emotions properly is an asset to the relationship.

A chaotic guy will only cause trouble for you, and you will never have a comfortable bonding or calm experience with him.

On the other hand, an emotionally stable man will provide support and stability to you and the relationship.

His maturity will help him handle any and all stresses in a healthy manner, leading to the relationship being a healthy one, too.

Emotional Stability

17. Respect For Independence

A man who is a control freak constantly trying to micromanage you will make your life a nightmare.

Always avoid such individuals, and look for men who respect your independence and encourage you to pursue your interests and goals with full ownership, without needing to take his permission for anything (here, permission does not mean asking for advice, a healthy discussion regarding anything is good in a relationship).

A relationship with a respectful man will almost always be a healthy one and will empower you to move towards greater things in your life without being burdened by the whims and wishes of anyone.

It will give you both a solid and stable base built on mutual respect and support to launch into your pursuits of success.

18. Good Listener

Sometimes, all we need is a good listener to hear us rant/vent about whatever is troubling us.

And it’s always a source of comfort and relief when the other party listens properly to you, especially one you share your deepest (and darkest) thoughts with.

A guy who listens to you attentively without interrupting every sentence to shoehorn his own opinion will literally be a great catch for you.

Mind you, such people, in general, are hard to come by, let alone guys you want to date.

Such a guy will give you the required warmth with ample space to be vulnerable, and by being attentive and responsive to you, he will build a sense of mutual understanding and respect between you two.

So if you find a guy with a good pair of ears with a heart willing to just listen to you properly and attentively – marry him, NOW! Okay, maybe not marry but try to give him a chance.

Good Listener


Dating can be quite a tiring thing to figure out, as you have to analyze not just your own wants but also how the people you want to date fare as per your needs.

We hope the article helped you to figure out what kind of guy would be perfect for you. We wish you a happy dating life ahead!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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