She Takes A Long Time To Text Back | 10 Possible Reasons

A minute passed. Then an hour. And then, a day. Or even two days. And that’s when the girl you have been texting responds back. Seems a bit unfair, isn’t it? While you reply to her texts in a flash, she seems unenthusiastic, in fact, quite disinterested in talking to you! But why is that?

Some possible reasons as to why she takes a long time to text back can be that she is busy with work, bad at texting/does not like texting, or maybe just not interested in you. She can even be physically/mentally unwell, or she may be playing hard-to-get.

Let’s look into the reasons in a bit of detail.

Possible Reasons Why She Takes A Long Time To Text Back

1. She Is Busy

The most obvious answer that requires no overthinking on your part is that she is busy. More often than not, it’s as simple as that.

While you are making long and unnecessary assumptions as to why she is not replying to you quicker, the actual reality is far from anything that your anxious brain comes up with.

She can be busy with anything, be it her work or just general life stuff. The point of the matter is that not everyone is on their phone all the time, and it’s fairly normal to not reply to texts instantaneously.

So, take a chill pill, dude!

She Is Busy

2. She Is Not A Social Media Person

This is especially applicable if she is one of those old-school types who prefer meet-ups in real life or even calls over texting.

Such girls tend to text less, as they don’t feel texting is as personal of interaction as they would like. Another obvious sign is that even though she is texting you faster, her texts are a bit dry.

At the same time, IRL, she interacts with you delightfully. You have to pick up these hints and try to move on from texting to calls or even video calls to keep the momentum between you two going.

We will discuss this in the next section. For now, keep reading the possible reasons.

3. She Finds You Boring

Harsh, I know, but when has truth ever been kind? It is entirely possible that she finds you boring to text.

Your texts may seem dull to her, your jokes would repeatedly fail to make her laugh but instead make her cringe, and she may even find you as a person uninteresting by judging you from your texts.

But don’t take this to heart. Your personalities may just be incompatible with each other, a reflection of which are the texts between you two: dull and boring.

4. She Is Not Interested In You

Guys always seem to ignore the obvious signs, but this may very well be the answer, and that is she is just not interested in you romantically.

This is different (and harsher) than if she found you boring. In that, there’s still a bit of curiosity in her regarding you that compels her to keep texting you, albeit a bit late and with dry replies.

But here? Here, the situation is grim and almost unsalvageable as her interest is just not there. In this situation, the girl may even seenzone you a lot of times.

And it’s better if you realize it sooner than later, as it can drain a lot of energy and mental peace from you in the long run and may even make you lower your self-esteem.

5. She Is Using You To Pass Her Idle-Time

Suppose she replies late to you usually, but once in a blue moon, her replies tend to come instantaneously, then my dear friend; in that case, you are just one of her sources of entertainment that she goes towards to pass her idle/leisure time.

Hence, she doesn’t text you faster but rather only when she craves some attention.

Such girls tend to keep you hanging and only want you for the attention and validation you give them; thus, they only come to you when they seek that.

Another possible scenario in this can be that although she finds you interesting to talk to, she engages in conversation with you at her own convenience (read: leisure).

Now, this does not sound that bad. Still, ultimately, the irregularity in her behavior and her tendency to take you for granted are quite apparent even here.

6. She Is Not Well Physically/Mentally

Let’s go towards some not-so-negative reasons; it can just be that she is unwell, be it physically or mentally and she is not willing to socialize much to preserve her energy, again, be it physical or mental energy.

In such situations, people tend to reserve themselves from social interactions, and online ones are often the first on the chopping block.

Thus, her replies tend to come late as she texts whenever she is feeling a bit better or fine enough to socialize. If you are one of the people she interacts with in such a situation, consider yourself quite lucky!

She Is Not Well Physically Mentally

7. Is Facing Some Problem In Her Life

An extension of the previous reason, a reason for her late texts can be her facing some unavoidable problem(s) in her life, like a sick family member, financial issues, or a fight with one of her friends, etc.

Here, you need to be empathetic enough to understand that she has a life outside of just texting you, and as important as you may be to her, some things need to be dealt with first.

Once the problem subsides, her texts may become regular as she will now have enough time, energy, and mental capacity to interact with you instead of being burdened with thoughts.

8. She Is Playing Hard-To-Get

Girls tend to use this trick often to get the guy they like to shower attention on them. Playing hard-to-get is an age-old dating trick and is found to be used more by girls than by guys.

But before making assumptions, do read my article to be absolutely sure: Is She Playing Hard to Get by Not Texting Back?

In such situations, although she is interested in talking to you, she replies to your texts late as she wants to keep you hanging so that she can have the upper hand in the “relationship”, such that it’s always you who is the one chasing her instead of vice-versa.

Seems a bit toxic, isn’t it? Well, probably because it is a childish way to gain someone’s attention and validation, and thus, mature women and men tend to avoid such practices.

So many reasons as to why she is texting you late but is there a way to tackle it all? Let’s see this in the next section.

What To Do If She Takes A Long Time To Text Back?

If she takes a long time to text back, you can communicate with her honestly and ask her the reason(s) for it.

You can also try to grab her attention by improving your texting skills or let her become more comfortable in texting you by conversing with her about things she likes.

1. Communicate, Communicate, COMMUNICATE!

In Reboot Love Life, we always favor the honest and upright way of resolving things more than the mind-games way.

Hence, our first recommendation here would be to just be honest with her and ask her as to why she is texting late.

Honest communication goes a long way, and you may even get to know her actual reason(s) instead of going roundabouts in your head and making the worst assumptions while simultaneously killing your self-esteem.

Be transparent with her about how you feel when she texts late, and also be empathetic and understanding of her when she is revealing her reason(s).

2. Improve Your Texting Skills

If she finds you boring in texts, but you sense a spark in-between you two, then it’s time to upskill your texting abilities and grab her attention.

Watch some stand-up comedy videos to improve your humor so that your jokes can finally land.

Know and research about her interests/hobbies to have long conversations about them with her, as she will always be interested in discussing things she likes.

Build a “texting-personality” which is a reflection of your actual personality, so that you don’t have to fake it while texting, and the interaction can be as spontaneous and natural as possible instead of being fidgety and filled with awkwardness.

3. Let Her Become Comfortable With Texting

If she is not a social media person but is willing to put in the effort to interact with you more, then firstly, congratulations, as you have found a keeper!

But jokes aside, if the girl is actually willing to become comfortable with texting you then give her some time, and she may very well come around to the interesting world of texts.

You should also help her learn the intricacies of texting, like using emojis, commonly used acronyms, etc., as she may be unaware of all that stuff that causes her to lose confidence while texting.

Build up her confidence, and it will basically be an investment for you which will give great returns later while also helping her to develop some much-needed online social skills.

4. Transform Texts To Calls To Meet-Ups

If she is not that interactive in texts but comfortable with more personal settings, then a wise move would be to just transition from texting to calls, video calls, or even IRL meet-ups.

You don’t have to abandon texting altogether, but treat it as sort of a starter to a great main course, that is, a way to make plans for better interactions.

You can treat texting as a way to converse with her regarding the formal stuff, like discussing date plans, timings for meetings, etc., and keep the actual, spicy conversations exclusive to the more personal interactions.

Transform Texts To Calls To Meet-Ups

5. Be Genuinely Interested In Her

Being genuinely interested in her will cause you to become curious about her, and with a pinch of good conversational skills, you can drive conversations in a way that compels her to tell you more about herself and her life.

For this, you have to ask questions, but not boring ones like “What do you do after coming from work?” or “How is your pet?”

Instead, try to learn about her interests, hobbies, and personality as a whole and explore them with your curiosity.

For example, if she is interested in astronomy, research a bit about the topic and ask her questions like “What constellations do you often gaze at in the night sky?” and watch the conversation flow like butter in a hot pan as she herself leads the conversation.

You can even use the information to make plans about dates; like in the current example, a star-gazing picnic date would be absolutely great to move things forward with her.

6. Move On

So, you have tried all the methods listed above, but nothing seems to work. Her texts are still late and dry, making you question, “Is she even interested in me?”

Well, the bitter truth is now knocking on your door because it’s now obvious that she is not interested in you romantically and just texts you to cure her boredom momentarily.

Now, it’s time to move on and find a girl who will be interested in you just as much as you are interested in her.

Draining your energy into someone that is not compatible with you or is not reciprocating your feelings and efforts is just a waste of your precious time, time which you can invest in someone deserving of it all.

7. Carry On With Your Life

Texting her and waiting for her texts should not be the only things that you are doing in your life. Your life is much bigger than waiting for a girl’s reply, no matter how much you like her.

So go, indulge in your hobbies, do your pending work, hang out with your friends, text long-lost friends-turned-acquaintances, and do other stuff that you should be doing instead of being anxious about a girl replying to you late.

If your life is busy and filled with excitement, be it from work or fun, your brain just won’t have the time to overthink such stuff.

And thus, it would help you to put less importance on something that is causing you so much anxiety that you are reading an article about it on the Internet!

But hey, we won’t judge you for it, as we are just here to help you out.


Texting a girl you like and waiting for her replies is a common experience of many guys, as well as the anxiety and apprehension that comes with her late replies.

We hope you found a lot of viewpoints that expanded your perspective regarding late replies.

We would just recommend you to not be fixated on this aspect alone and try to explore more options in your life, be it girls or experiences. We wish you all the best in your future texting and dating endeavors!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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