When A Woman Feels Neglected In A Relationship | Decoding Her

Two individuals experience a plethora of different feelings and emotions when they are together in a relationship. To keep each other happy and satisfied, one must fulfil each other’s mental, social, emotional and physical needs.

When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, she’ll start drifting away from you. The drift will be gradual and emotional at first. It will then transform into a physical disconnect when she’ll express the need to break up with you. Later, she’ll find another man who won’t neglect her.

Your woman will start withdrawing. It’s hard to keep such a relationship intact where one partner feels unvalued, disrespected and unloved.

What Is Neglect In A Relationship?

Neglect in a relationship means showing little or no care for your partner. Intentionally or unintentionally, avoiding your partner’s needs will lead to a physical and emotional disconnect between the two of you. Neglect is when you promise your partner something and do not stay true to your words.

If you frequently ignore your woman’s needs, she will feel neglected sooner or later.

Prioritizing everything above her, being emotionally unavailable, not noticing her efforts and appreciating her for doing little things for you will make her feel sad, alone, and left out.

When she needs to talk, are you mostly busy? When it’s her birthday or your anniversary, do you find it hard to remember the date?

What about that time when she planned a candle light dinner, and you didn’t show up?

Neglect could also be about when you got promoted, or something big happened in your life, but you did not share it with her for whatever reason or rather forgot to tell her.

Do you help her with household chores or share equal responsibility?

What Is Neglect In A Relationship

Your Relationship Isn’t Just About You

These things do add up substantially over time and messes up the mind of the woman who loves you. She will start to notice the zero effort coming from your side.

It will make her feel unimportant and unappreciated. It is a clear indicator that she is not as important to you as you are to her.

She will start to feel lonely and the relationship will glide towards an end. Thus, it’s always important to pay attention to your woman’s needs and keep her happy.

Yes, it is your responsibility. All she wants from you is your time and affection, and she deserves it.

TABLE: Why Do You Think Your Partner Doesn’t Pay Attention To You?

Reason Behind NeglectPercentage
Doesn’t love me anymore12%
Too busy with social media19%
Is attracted to someone else11%
Prioritizes work over me48%
Television / Computer34%
Busy with hobbies23%
Loves friends and family more than me56%
Watching sports is more important71%
Spends a lot of time on video games7%
Source: Based on a study by RebootLoveLife.com consisting of 114 women, both married and unmarried.
Note: Percentage does not equal to 100 due to overlapping reasons.

Signs That You Are Neglecting Your Woman

We cannot eliminate the problem unless we get to the root cause. Here are some common signs to look out for if your woman feels neglected.

1. She Is Never A Priority

We understand that she cannot always be your priority, but if she is never a priority, it’s the other unhealthy extreme.

When in a relationship, you can not just think about yourself. You must consider your partner’s feelings too.

With so many things on your plate, it can be pretty challenging to keep everyone around you happy and satisfied.

It’s okay to shift your priorities according to the need but don’t keep avoiding your woman.

It can make her feel unimportant and may even create self-doubts of being unworthy.

She will slowly start pulling away from you and will minimize her efforts in the relationship.

It will lead to arguments and regular fights, which will be very frustrating and torturous.

2. Not Sharing Things With Her

In healthy relationships, couples tend to share everything with their partners. There are intimate and closely guarded details they want to share with someone close.

In the end, we all want a partner with whom we can share our feelings, our thoughts. We desire someone who will hear us.

Your girl expects the same from you. If you are shutting your woman down by not communicating, excluding her from essential things in your life, she will feel neglected.

If you never ask for her advice or include her in your decision-making process, you make her feel unwanted.

She will feel unheard and lonely in this relationship with you. It will give her the idea of you being secretive, and she may even start suspecting you of cheating on her.

3. Not Realizing Her Value In Your Life

If you are least bothered about her life or do not involve yourself in her life at all, she will see through that.

Just like physical intimacy, emotional intimacy is also a clear measure of how interested a person is in your life.

If the spark starts to fade and the relationship becomes monotonous, it will not stand the test of time.

And for all this to happen, you need to understand how valuable she is.

If she is the only one taking out time, sacrificing her plans, constructing #couplegoals for the two of you, and you are least interested, this says a lot about how much she and this relationship means to you.

Not Realizing Her Value In Your Life

4. You Don’t Appreciate Her Efforts

Be it the relationships or any other areas of your life, showing appreciation and being grateful for what you have takes you a long way.

When was the last time you said thank you to her? When was the last time you gave something special to her?

We are not talking about big gifts that you can buy by throwing away money. It can be as simple as a tight hug out of the blue or a kiss before leaving for work.

Good memories are made of little moments. How long has it been since you spent quality time with her without being distracted by work or your phone?

Showing appreciation doesn’t mean saying, “I appreciate you”. It is evident from your actions.

5. Being Vague About Your Feelings

Do you think she clearly knows how you feel about her or where she stands in your life? If not, then you are in a lot more trouble than you think.

You may end up losing her before you even see things turning sour.

Giving mixed signals to your partner will make her feel insecure about you and the relationship.

She will start making assumptions based on the tiniest things you could imagine and conclude you don’t love her.

Her mind will trick her into thinking about all the worst possibilities, like you being a player or not at all serious about her, which may lead to a breakup.

What Happens When A Woman Feels Neglected?

When a woman feels neglected, you’ll observe negative changes in her. It will start with nagging about how you don’t pay enough attention to her and are always unavailable. Later, there will be frequent fights. Finally, there will be a series of emotional breakdowns before she leaves you forever.

1. You Often Find Her Sad

When a woman feels neglected, the first response would be overwhelmingly sad emotions. Also, she will keep pointing out how you don’t give her enough time.

There will be arguments regarding you always being busy or she not being your priority.

If things escalate to a level where she is crying and literally begging for your attention, then you better not take her feelings lightly.

She is hurt, and she needs the person she loves the most to pay attention, understand her emotions and be by her side.

2. Self-Loathing And Blaming

When in love, a woman starts to see herself through the eyes of her partner.

When her partner doesn’t appreciate her or show any interest in her, she will automatically blame herself and her appearance.

Initially, she will think that whatever is happening is all her fault.

She’ll feel maybe she is not good enough for you, or you have lost interest in her because she failed to keep herself attractive, fit and healthy.

She will start telling you the same or start trying to look more attractive for you.

However, this desire for transformation is coming from a negative frame of mind and thus not healthy.

Self-Loathing And Blaming

3. She Starts To Pull Back

A relationship requires an equal amount of effort from both the partners to flourish.

When one person stops investing and starts to ignore their responsibilities, the other person won’t hold the fort for long.

Accordingly, your woman might try to save the relationship till she exhausts herself, but as soon as she realizes that there is nothing left to save, she will stop caring.

She will stop arguing with you, and she will stop sharing things with you because now she knows you don’t care as well.

4. Zero Intimacy Or Cold Bedroom

She loved you to the extent that you stopped caring and took her for granted.

She gave you everything you needed, even that space you always asked for but you didn’t notice how that space grew large with time.

Now, instead of love, there will be bitterness, anger and hatred in extreme cases.

Communication with you will be at a bare minimum. She won’t even like to look at you, and therefore, will never make eye contact until and unless there is a fight going on.

She will stop being around you. When there is no love, there won’t be any intimacy.

If there is, she will no longer be the one to initiate it, and there won’t be any excitement or feelings involved.

5. End Of The Relationship

After all the begging, crying or playing cold, she will get tired of trying. She will stop repairing a broken relationship and will decide to move on in life without you.

When there is no love and intimacy in your relationship, a person will naturally look outside it to fill their needs.

When your woman gets the lost affection from someone else outside, she may even cheat you or start an affair.

Even if she does not get involved in any affair, she will want to end the relationship for good.

What To Do When A Woman Feels Neglected In A Relationship?

When a woman feels neglected in a relationship, it’s time for damage repair. Start by paying her the attention she demands and deserves. She loves you and wants you to reciprocate. Accept your mistakes, apologize, mend your ways and try to be the best man she has ever been with.

After being neglected and treated as a ghost for a long time, you cannot expect her to behave normally all of a sudden as if nothing happened suddenly.

The damage cannot be corrected overnight and requires continuous effort, care and immense love on your part.

Here is how you should start the process of her emotional healing and repair.

1. Reach Out To Her

What can be the best possible way to correct your negligence if not by giving her your attention.

Stop avoiding the issues or delaying the ‘talk’, as it will only lead to disastrous consequences. All she wants is to be seen, to be heard, to be loved by you.

Start with acknowledging her emotions, sit down and talk to her without rushing off somewhere the very next minute.

Ask her what does she feel and just hold her hands. Being near her is the only way to lessen the distance between the two of you.

Let her speak her heart out loud, and you must listen even if it means keeping your ego aside and hearing some hurtful criticism.

Try to resolve the issue at hand rather than giving birth to a whole new one.

She may get angry or cry out loud, but all you need to do is be calm, polite and show compassion. After all, you are the reason why she is behaving like this in the first place.

Reach Out To Her

2. Apologize And Communicate

You know that somehow knowingly or unknowingly, you’ve hurt her feelings.

Here you must say sorry but do not try to make excuses or give stupid justifications for your behavior.

Explain everything to her with honesty and if there has been some misunderstanding, try to correct it.

Don’t live in denial. If you have been a horrible person, accept that you have been so. There is no shame in acceptance, and it is never too late for a change.

You genuinely apologizing and admitting your mistakes will soothe her and make a solid ground for any further communication.

Show her that you know where you went wrong, and how you are taking full responsibility for whatever happened.

If you had been giving this relationship your best, you wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.

3. Show Her That You Care

Now is time to make her your top priority and give her all the care and affection she deserves. Take out time for her and think of creative ways to make her feel special.

Take a break and plan things out with her. Do go down the usual route of movies, a fancy restaurant, etc.

Prepare yourself for an adventurous or on a luxurious vacation. Try to make up for all the times you mistreated her. Replace the old memories with the new ones.

The only way to make an old wall look better is to repair the damages underneath and give it a coat of fresh paint.

Make her feel wanted while she is recovering from the emotional damage you did to her. Keep her happy, and she will return the favor in whatever way she can.

4. Boost Her Self Esteem

Being neglected in a relationship can take a major hit on a woman’s self-esteem. So, you must make her feel good about herself.

Make it a point to compliment her from time to time or make special gestures. Make her feel desired by checking her out the way you did when you were dating.

Remind her of all the good qualities she possesses. Be expressive than usual about your feelings for her but do not fake it or she will catch it from a mile away.

Fake it till you make it doesn’t work here. To sound believable while saying that she means the world to you, she must actually mean the world to you.

You should always let her know what’s going on in your mind and how important she is to you.

Even if you feel that what you are about to say is so obvious and sounds cheesy, it is important to put it across.

Remember, saying something cheesy in this case is better than saying nothing at all.

5. Do Not Repeat Your Mistakes

Once is a mistake, twice is a crime, and thrice is a sin. Work on yourself and try to become a better person for her.

Don’t be emotionally closed to her and stop acting selfishly. Start putting in the same amount of effort as her and nurture your relationship.

Try being more open and approachable. Start small, and you’ll catch up in no time if your heart is in the right place.

You should always try to balance each aspect of your life, be it work, family, friends or your love life so that no one feels neglected or overlooked.

Think of these people as pillars and your life as a roof. Pillars are responsible for keeping the roof from coming down.

Do Not Repeat Your Mistakes


Your woman can feel neglected over things as little as not responding to a text or as big as ignoring her completely.

While it is not possible to be available every time, a healthy balance is what you should strive for.

It boils down to how you will handle each aspect of your life in a way where everyone is given equal importance.

Keeping your woman happy today is better than trying to make it up tomorrow. She should feel like an essential and valuable part of your life.

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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