Why do we try to stretch the breakup to a point where it becomes unbearable to be with someone? The fear of uncertainty and being alone makes us push our boundaries of tolerance to avoid the pain.
Call it quits in a relationship when you are not happy with a person. The whole point of being with someone is to be happy. If there is no romance, passion left, and the relationship feels stagnant, it will only degrade. Leaving before things get worse is the right step.
If you have unmet emotional needs, feel that you deserve better, and don’t love the person anymore, there is no point in continuing. No matter how hard you try to twist it, the truth is not going to change.
Red Flags To Look For In A Relationship
Being in a relationship is great if you are in love with the person. However, with time things get mundane when the other aspects of life come into play.
Problems creep in, which sometimes are resolved but sometimes are hard to get over.
You have to be strong and take the hard step for your sake. It’s not selfish to think about your happiness. How can the relationship be a happy one if you aren’t?
If lately, you’ve been having second thoughts about your relationship, then here are the signs to look for to call it quits once and for all.
1. You Feel Unhappy
Every relationship feels terrific in the beginning. It’s only later when we get to see our partner for who they really are.
We get into a relationship to feel happy and complete, right? But what if that relationship turns into something full of pain, sorrow, anxiety, and sadness?
You start to feel lonely even in the presence of your partner. The times when you feel disappointed and sad are more than when you actually feel happy and loved.
Your partner has stopped giving a thought about you. If you have started finding peace away from your partner, it’s probably time to call it quits.
TABLE: People On What Were The Biggest Red Flags In Their Ex
|Behaved in a controlling manner||73%|
|Called all their exes ‘crazy’||24%|
|Got into frequent fights with people||58%|
|Had no life outside the relationship||45%|
|Persistent jealousy and insecurity||82%|
Note: Percentage does not equal to 100 due to overlapping opinions.
2. Lost Trust
Trust is an essential part of a relationship that works like glue to hold it together.
It gives you the assurance that the person is loyal to you and, no matter what, will always remain faithful.
Without trust, the long-term survival of a relationship becomes complicated. When you don’t trust your partner, you will always doubt their actions.
You’ll try to control them and behave like a detective, resulting in a loss of freedom for them and will cost you your peace of mind in return.
If you feel that the person you are with is not worthy of your trust and can betray you anytime, you must let the person go.
3. Zero Communication
Misunderstandings find their way in relationships where there is a lack of communication.
When couples don’t sit together and speak their minds, emotions are bottled up. Or even when they do, they don’t listen to each other and instead play blame games.
When there are increased misunderstandings, and you have tried a lot to resolve them, but the result has always been the same, it probably won’t change in the future.
It’s another thing where you don’t even try to communicate and solve the issues, but if the other person just won’t understand, it’s better to leave them for good.
4. Lack Of Support
For a relationship to grow, it is essential to have an understanding and supportive partner.
When your partner doesn’t believe in you and your dreams, things become ten times harder because most of your energy goes into convincing them that you can do it.
Self-doubts creep in, and negativity surrounds you. If they discourage you at every step and make you feel worthless, you are with the wrong person.
A person pulling you down and hindering your growth means it’s time to cut them loose.
5. Frequent Fights
It’s common for couples to have arguments from time to time because no relationship is perfect where you expect to understand each other without saying a word.
If you feel that there is nothing left in your relationship apart from fights, then you two don’t belong together.
Regular fights lead to disrespect and hatred in a relationship, and when you can’t respect your partner, that relationship has no meaning to it.
Reconsider your relationship if you two are at each other’s throats over the same things again and again.
6. Controlling Behavior
Sometimes it becomes difficult to identify between a controlling partner and a caring partner.
A partner who is controlling will always interfere in your business and criticize you for every little thing.
They will try to isolate you from your friends, family and even try to turn you against them.
You’ll not be allowed to talk to the opposite gender and certain people because your partner is insecure.
You’ll have to explain everything to them, including every little decision, daily schedule, because not doing so is guaranteed to lead to a fight later on.
If you require your partner’s permission for everything you do and your lifestyle has changed according to your partner’s idea of living, you aren’t living a life that you can call your own.
If you feel a loss of freedom in your relationship, it’s high time to break free.
7. Different Life Paths
A relationship where both the partners are on the same page goes a long way. At the start, you don’t care about what you want from life or your relationship.
You are so engrossed in your newfound interest that you don’t care about the future.
But when you realize that it might cost you your life goals, it becomes difficult to carry on from there.
Every day you will think of where your relationship is going, or does it even have a future? No relationship should be greater than your happiness and dreams.
8. There Is No Intimacy
Most people see intimacy as a very important part of a relationship, and lack of intimacy is a deal breaker for them.
If you are a person for whom intimacy matters a lot, then being in a relationship with no passion can be an uphill task. You’ll always be dissatisfied, and it will lead to frustration.
This will also make you irritated and lead to fights with your partner.
It can also make you cheat on your partner. If your eyes are wandering, you must leave before doing some irreversible damage.
9. Zero Efforts
To grow and flourish, a relationship requires active efforts from both partners.
It’s about the efforts you make to get to know your partner, take an interest in their life, and keep each other happy.
Without enough effort from both ends, it becomes hard for a relationship to survive.
One-sided efforts put a lot of burden on the person who is struggling to make it work.
If you are the only one giving in your relationship, it will drain your energy and leave you exhausted.
Being in a relationship where your partner doesn’t go beyond their comfort zone to be there for you when you need them is suffocating.
10. No Appreciation
A healthy relationship is where couples make each other feel special and appreciate the efforts.
Showing gratitude to your partner from time to time is important for them to feel good and know that their efforts are not going unnoticed.
Appreciation gives a person the required boost to keep doing what they have been doing and even become better.
If your partner is not appreciative of your efforts and takes you for granted, there is no need to be a part of such a relationship where you are not valued.
11. Commitment Issues
Is your partner reluctant to label the relationship and never talks about the future? Have you ever met their friends and family despite being with them for a long time?
Do they change the subject or completely shut you down when you talk about it?
You want to know where things are going, but your partner is too vague, and it bothers you?
If you are at a point where you want nothing but commitment and exclusivity in your relationship, this person is not right for you.
12. You Are Not Valued
If you’ve been repeatedly disrespected and undermined, you are with the wrong person.
The truth is that you don’t matter to your partner at all, except for when they need something from you.
It can be money, physical pleasure, or siphoning off from you like a blood-sucking leech.
If you feel unimportant, insulted, and repeatedly find yourself trying to earn their respect, it is not normal. No relationship is greater than your self-respect.
If your partner doesn’t respect you and never values your presence in their life, leave them.
13. Cheating On You
Being cheated on by a person you loved with all your heart is the worst feeling.
Not only is there a breach of trust, but it also becomes insanely difficult to gather yourself from there and move forward.
There is no point staying with a cheater as the love that once was will never be the same.
Even if you choose to give them a second chance, you’ll never trust them. There will always be an element of doubt in your head about what your partner is up to.
All this constant worrying can make life miserable for you. And what are the chances that what they did won’t be repeated?
Cheating should be the dead-end of a relationship, and there should be no question of going back. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
14. Your Partner Is Immature
Being in a relationship with someone who is not mature is mentally frustrating.
It can be fun initially if you find that sort of thing cute, but it becomes difficult to keep their behavior under check with time.
A serious conversation with them will turn into chaos.
If they are childish, don’t understand your thoughts, and behave in a difficult way, you can feel like a parent more than like a lover.
A child wants what it wants and will throw any tantrum to make things happen their way.
Being with a childlike person means extra effort in everything. Eventually, you’ll get tired of them because you see no future with them.
15. Neglected Responsibilities
Being in a relationship is no piece of cake. It comes with a fair share of responsibility for both the partners.
Be it your household work, the financial aspects of life, or keeping up with friends and family, everything needs to be shared equally.
That is why the person you are in a relationship with is called your ‘partner’. And partners share responsibilities.
If you’ve been doing everything on your own and your partner is just lazy all the time, taking such a relationship further is like doing a two-person job alone.
16. Unresolved Issues
Every relationship has issues, and couples are supposed to sit, talk and resolve them.
Some people find it hard to communicate their feelings, and that’s where they lack. These issues grow like wild grass if unchecked.
Unresolved matters, arrogance, egos, and lack of willingness to initiate a reconciliation lead to break-ups.
They become the breeding ground for resentment among a couple.
If your relationship has issues that are not being addressed and even after trying, your partner is in no mood to talk, do not wait for the time bomb to explode.
17. Constant Lies
Being with a person who always lies is equivalent to intentionally hurting your feelings again and again.
There is no sense of security and peace of mind when you are with a liar. You will always question their loyalty and will wonder that are they duping you in some way?
If your partner has a habit of lying about the smallest of things, dump them right away. It might seem too extreme but is always better in the long run.
They are not a good influence around you.
18. Lack Of Romance
Romance and intimacy are two different things. A person being good in bed doesn’t mean he or she is romantic as well.
If getting a rose or a bar of chocolate once in a while brings happiness to your partner, it’s worth the effort, even if it isn’t your idea of romance.
If you are unhappy about the lack of romance and communicate the same, and they still don’t put any effort, it means they don’t care.
It doesn’t come naturally to everyone but not even trying for your partner’s sake is ignoring their needs.
And you don’t have to be in a relationship where your basic emotional needs remain unmet.
19. Abuse And Violence
A person who is abusive and violent is dangerous to be with both emotionally and physically.
Abuse may start from something as small as a verbal expletive, but it will turn into something serious down the line.
By being with such a person, you are not only risking your emotional health, but your life is also under constant threat.
No matter what explanation they have for such behavior, do not believe that they love you. Love doesn’t make you abusive and violent.
If anything, it makes you more considerate and soft. Learn to identify abuse in a relationship.
If you are experiencing any form of it, leave right away and file a complaint against your partner.
20. You Are No Longer In Love
Once you’ve realized that you don’t love your partner, being with them is merely a formality.
Staying with them from this point onward will be fake and a complete waste of time.
We know it isn’t easy to end a relationship, but you’ll only be delaying the inevitable end by continuing.
Where there is no love, there is no future. It is time to call it quits when you realize this person is not the right one for you, even if they are a great individual.
Two fantastic people don’t necessarily form a compatible couple.
Every relationship and every person is different. The topic of commitment or lack of it can be a deal-breaker for one but not too big a thing for another.
One can choose to break up for different life goals while one can leave their dreams for love.
One might always complain about lack of romance, while the other person might find it clingy and challenging to deal with.
Ultimately, you need to find out what works for you and what doesn’t. Understand your limits beyond which you can’t compromise or bend the rules.