What Is Online Dating Like For A Man? | Realistic Insights

The online dating scene is an interesting one. Despite its growing popularity, there remain stark differences in the experience between a woman and a man. While some of them mirror the traditional dating antics, a lot of the “features” of online dating are unique to it. So what is online dating actually like for a man?

Online dating for men puts a lot of expectations on them, like initiating conversations, being witty/interesting in texts, etc. Men also face a lot of competition from other men in such apps and are often judged on appearance-based factors. Men also struggle to find serious dates there.

Let’s look at the scenario in detail.

How Does Online Dating Look Like For Most Men?

1. Expected To Initiate Conversations

Traditionally, men are expected to be the initiators when it comes to dating.

Be it asking for the first date to making the first move in the bedroom, it’s men on whom the responsibility of initiating things lie in society’s eyes.

This trend, or rather the “tradition,” has carried over into online dating as well, where men are often expected to make the first move by sending messages or showing interest in a potential match.

This can put pressure on men to come up with creative and engaging conversation starters to make a good impression on their matches, which is, well, very similar to the traditional dating scene.

Expected To Initiate Conversations

2. Cut-throat Competition

There is a stark difference between the traditional and the online dating world.

Since there are generally more men than women on dating apps, men may face stiff competition from other male users when it comes to capturing the attention of desirable women.

This can lead to a feeling of pressure or competition that may make the online dating experience more stressful.

In fact, this leads to the men (and the apps) treating the women there as a sort of “prize” and becoming desperate in their attempts to woo them, often leading to rejections, low self-esteem, and frustration.

3. More Rejections, Less Responses

Men and women alike face rejection, but men tend to receive fewer responses and matches compared to women on dating apps, and this can lead to feelings of rejection or disappointment.

This could be due to the fact that there are generally more men than women on these platforms, creating a classic supply-demand issue and making it more difficult for men to stand out from the crowd.

This also increases the average time to find a relationship online.

More Rejections, Less Responses

4. Judgment Based On Superficial Factors

There’s an infamous “rule book” quoted in forums related to online dating, which states that for men to get more matches, Rule #1: Be Attractive, Rule #2: Don’t Be Unattractive, Rule #3: Be Rich.

This gives rise to the age-old rant from many men, does online dating really work for most guys?

Well, we don’t necessarily agree with this so-called “rule book”, but the reality isn’t that different, unfortunately.

In the online dating world, physical appearance is often a major factor in determining whether someone is interested in you or not.

Men may be judged more harshly based on their looks, height, or other physical traits.

Additionally, women may also be more selective about the professions or interests of the men they match with, which is often tied to the amount of money the man makes (or rather shows off in his profile).

5. Catfishing And Frauds/Scams

So, have you ever heard the term “catfishing” before?

It’s a relatively famous (or rather infamous) term that refers to a type of online deception where someone creates a fake identity or persona in order to lure another person into a romantic or emotional relationship.

This can happen on social media, dating apps, or other online platforms. Unfortunately, online dating platforms are not immune to fraud or scams like this.

Men may encounter fake profiles or scammers who try to exploit them by requesting money or personal information. This can be especially harmful to men, who may be more vulnerable to these types of scams.

Catfishing And Frauds - Scams

6. Pressure To Be Ultra Witty And Interesting

We already talked about the supply-demand issue that arises in online dating platforms due to the imbalance of women (less) and men (more) in such sites/apps.

Thus, to stand out amongst the enormous crowds of other men, that is, the “competition”, men may feel pressure to come up with witty and engaging messages to send to potential matches.

This can lead to stress and anxiety, especially if they are struggling to come up with something clever to say.

This causes extra trouble, especially for those men who are a bit on the quieter side or just can’t express themselves through texts.

7. Lack Of Serious Options

Online dating platforms are notoriously infamous for primarily being used for casual, short-term relationships like one-night stands or hookups.

There’s nothing wrong with pursuing such relationships if both parties agree to it, but those who are looking for something serious tend to be disappointed with such an experience.

Men may encounter women who are not interested in a serious relationship and are only looking for a short-term fling.

This can be frustrating for men who are looking for something more meaningful. And the absence of serious options in the apps adds to the frustration.

Lack Of Serious Options

8. Struggle To Find Compatible Matches

Finding compatible people to date is already pretty hard in the traditional scene, and the online apps just make it a tad bit more difficult with the superficial nature of it all combined with the supply-demand issue.

Finding compatible matches on dating apps is, thus, a challenge, and men may spend a lot of time swiping or browsing profiles without finding someone who is a good match for them.

This leads to frustration and burnout, especially if they are not having success over an extended period of time.

9. Unrealistic Expectations From Women

Online dating platforms treat women as a “prize”; after all, they are “in demand” there, with “the supply” being less. This sounds like we are objectifying women here, but that’s not the case.

It’s just how these online dating apps tend to function, and we are stating the reality as is.

This causes some women to be extra-picky and demanding over their choices, which may lead to them having unrealistic expectations or being overly demanding in their preferences.

This can make it difficult for men to feel like they are meeting the standards set by potential matches, leading to feelings of inadequacy or frustration.

Unrealistic Expectations From Women

10. Cultural Or Language Barriers

Dating apps that cater to specific ethnic or linguistic groups can be a great way to meet people who share similar cultural backgrounds or interests.

However, men may also encounter language or cultural barriers when using these apps, making it difficult to communicate with potential matches effectively.

This can be frustrating for men who are trying to connect with people who share their interests or values.

This is especially applicable to men who fall in the minority section of their population, as the apps tend to favor the majority with their features and functionalities.


Online dating is a growing phenomenon and will most likely be the major way of finding dates and “love” in the future.

As a man, it’s important to figure out the online dating world to be successful there. We hope the article helped you know more about how it is for the men there!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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