She’s Not Texting Me Like She Used To | Reasons & Solutions

Being in a situation where her texting frequency and volume has decreased suddenly can be quite frustrating. The problem seems grand, and it eats you from within.

If she is not texting you like before, find the core reason behind the change. Was this change sudden or gradual? Is she losing interest in texting you or losing interest in you? There’s a difference between the two. Curate your strategy to rekindle her interest according to the root cause.

Overthinking will make you act in a needy and insecure way. Don’t reach any conclusions or form your opinions without knowing the real reasons.

Pro-tip: To get her to a point where she can’t get enough of you, build attraction like never before.

Instead of worrying about why isn’t she texting you, focus your energy on being a man she’ll be crazy about. Check out this breakthrough program called Playing With Fire now to learn how!

Before We Begin

A sudden change in behavior can be alarming irrespective of the fact whether you are dating this woman, she’s already your girlfriend or just a simple crush.

You don’t even know how to react because the cause is not clear to you. Thus, try to gauge the situation from an objective point of view.

Sounds difficult? We are here to help. It would become easy to resolve this issue if you know the reason behind it.

Also, you need to be very patient and behave in a controlled manner because by acting rashly, you may end up driving her away altogether.

TABLE: Women On Why They Lose Interest In A Man? (Strongest Reasons)

Low self esteem23%
Act oversmart5%
Needy & clingy behavior36%
Constantly seeking her approval28%
Checking out other women6%
Source: A study conducted by with 136 female participants.

Doing so will only cause more damage. We don’t recommend reaching out to her without a proper plan.

Reasons Why She Isn’t Texting You Like Before 

It is unsettling when you begin to feel that there is a change in her behavior towards you.

It is not abnormal to keep wondering what’s wrong and where things took a downturn.

We have tried to cover the most probable reasons behind the sudden change in her texting habits.

It might be possible that your situation seems unique to you, but see if you can find an underlying matching cause on our list.

1. Going Back To Natural Self 

There always comes a time when people go back to their comfort zones, a place where they don’t have to put in a lot of effort.

At least not as much as the initial days.

Maybe, she feels secure about you and does not hesitate to show a bit of laid back attitude when it comes to keeping in touch.

She is sure that you would understand and won’t mind if she doesn’t respond to your texts instantly or doesn’t initiate as frequently.

She may believe that you won’t drift away if she is not always available.

Thus she prefers to devote her time doing something else other than chatting with you.

Going Back To Natural Self

2. She Is Genuinely Occupied

One reason could be that she is actually busy with work and does not have time to spare.

Maybe she has a lot of work pressure, deadlines to meet, learning something new and therefore wants to focus on the job.

Some people prefer complete isolation when they are working on something. They are so connected to their work that they don’t keep track of anything else.

Possibly until now, she was making adjustments in her work schedule so that she could give you more time.

Maybe now she thinks that you guys are at a stage where you’d understand if she is not available all the time.

3. Having A Tough Time

When a person is going through a bad phase in their life, they don’t feel like themselves and neither do they behave congruently.

They feel unfortunate and shattered. You can’t expect someone to act normal while they are facing a rough time.

Maybe something awful happened to her or someone close to her.

She may not be in a situation where she can think about anything other than the pressing problem and is feeling lost.

Maybe she does not want to share it with you because she can’t gather the required strength to talk about it right now.

Or perhaps she doesn’t want to bother you with her problems. Possibly she needs space to figure things out in order to get out of the problem.

4. Conversations Have Become Monotonous

Initially, you have a lot to talk about as you have just started to know each other.

You feel like chatting more and more, but there comes a time when you have nothing much to talk about except the usual ‘What else?’.

Conversations become monotonous. Some people just don’t like dull conversations.

They would rather spend their time doing something useful rather than having long, dull conversations over call or text.

It doesn’t mean she has lost interest in you, but the frequent awkward silences are perhaps unbearable to her. To avoid it, she prefers not texting or calling much after a certain point of time.

Maybe it’s time for you to spice things up. Read my guide on seducing a woman with words to hook her again if you feel she’s drifting.

5. She Believes In Doing One Thing At A Time

Possibly she is a kind of person who does not like to mix things up and likes dealing with one thing at a time.

When she is with her family or friends, she wants to give her time to them, and when she is with you, she is all yours.

She likes to be fair to everyone without having to compromise.

If she is working, then she is entirely focused on that. She is a person who won’t mix two different areas of life, no matter what.

So, maybe she is devoting most of her time to something she is very particular about.

If you have never seen her take off to do something else when she is with you unless something very urgent comes up, then definitely this is the reason.

6. She Is Testing You

It is common for women to test their partner from time to time to see if they still care about them.

Also, it is a great way to look inside your personality as your actions will tell her a lot more than your words ever will.

Here, she actually wants you to notice the difference and is intentionally behaving in this way.

Maybe she thinks that you put less effort or don’t put any effort at all to keep alive whatever is going on between you two.

Perhaps, this is making her question your interest in her. So, she puts you up to this test to be sure whether you do care at all or not.

The fact that you did notice the difference and are reading this article is a good sign. She just wants you to be more involved.

If she is not already your girlfriend, chances are she’s playing hard to get. But how can you know for sure?

I have this detailed article that’ll confirm your doubts on whether she’s playing hard to get by not texting back. I’ve also curated a step by step approach on what to do in case she is!

She Is Testing You

7. She Has Something Better To Do

She may have something going on in her life, which is far more exciting than texting you.

Maybe she is with her friends on vacation, or she is binge-watching new movies and series.

Perhaps she does not like to spend much time on the phone as before and would prefer spending time with you in person.

But until that day comes, her texts are going to be minimal. What if now she has realized that texting too much is just a waste of time?

The time that she can use to learn something new.

But if she is spending a lot of time online and still not replying to your texts or replying to them pretty late then, then she is not attracted to you at all or has lost the attraction which was there once.

Now it might be because of something you did or maybe there is someone/something else she finds much more attractive.

It could be her friends, a newfound hobby, or we hate to say this, someone new in her life. And we know this is what you had been dreading all this while.

We shamelessly just rubbed salt on your wounds. Please don’t hate us.

8. She Does Not Want To Bother You   

Staying in touch is a crucial thing to keep the bond alive and is essential for the growth of any kind of relationship.

She loves texting you, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to interfere too much and come off as too strong.

Maybe now she thinks that she is overwhelming you with all those messages. She may be under the assumption that she’s disturbing you all the time.

A considerable part of it may be the reason if you haven’t initiated most of the conversations with her.

Thus, she feels insecure about the fact that texting you too much might become the reason of you drifting away and losing interest in her.

9. She’s Mad At You

Here is what could be another reason for the change you are experiencing in her texting habits and behaviour in general.

She may be angry at you because of something and wants you to realize it on your own.

Maybe you did something last Sunday, and she is still waiting for you to come forward, own your mistake and apologize.

She thinks she’ll come across as someone who nags if and when she will complain about it.

If after making an error in judgment (even unknowingly) you never realize it, it makes her look like a cry baby.

So, by behaving differently, she wants to get your attention without being the first one to address the elephant in the room.

She’s Mad At You

10. Not Interested In You Anymore 

And finally, we come to the reason which is a cause of significant concern. Her losing attraction for you could be a hard thing to deal with.

If she is ignoring you all the time and has minimal contact, then possibly she is not into you anymore.

The signs might have been subtle, but they were always there and creeping gradually towards the present situation. Reflect, jog your memory, and you’ll see it.

If every text conversation seemed more and more like a to the point one-word answer, then maybe she was done with you a long time ago.

It’s challenging to keep the spark alive forever. Losing attraction is the worst that can happen here. But the best part is that you can do something about it.

And this is where your journey towards being an attractive man begins, where you not only regain the lost attraction back but also make her fall for you even more.

What To Do When She Isn’t Texting You Like Before?

There is nothing to worry about if this is a one or two-time thing. It would only mean you are reading too much between the lines.

However, if you notice the same pattern over and over, then it is the time to look for reasons and see if any of the following steps can be applied to improve the situation.

1. If It’s A Natural Change

Initially, two people put in extra efforts but later it becomes difficult to keep up as we fall back to being our natural self.

This change is expected and bound to happen in every relationship, whether romantic or purely platonic. It doesn’t mean anything, and you just have to accept it.

Maybe this is how she likes it and what you were experiencing till now was that extra effort.

If you feel that her feelings haven’t changed, and it’s just the frequency of being in contact, then you don’t need to worry at all.

Try to adjust to this new behavior. It is better in the long run instead of deliberately trying to change her.

2. Become An Attractive Man

If she prioritizes other things over you, it means you are becoming boring and losing value in her life.

This might happen when you are either always available or too unavailable. She might even start taking you for granted.

She prefers watching Netflix over you because she knows when she finishes her favorite series, you’ll still be there, waiting for her.

To start off your journey, I’d first suggest getting this girl off your mind. For this, I want you to go ahead and read my strategy on steps to get someone off your mind for good.

Try to give less attention to her and focus more on yourself. Let her be the one who chases you instead of you chasing her.

Avoid her on purpose to build your own life, and she will notice that your priorities have shifted.

Always work towards becoming the best version of yourself. Once you begin to love yourself, it is only then she can love you.

Playing With Fire teaches you the exact step by step approach to ignite a burning desire for you in any woman.

The whole focus of this breakthrough book is to be a man who women want to be with, instead of the other way round.

Read my comprehensive Playing With Fire Review!

3. When She Has Been Busy 

First of all, you need to find out if she is swamped for real or is ignoring you.

If she is actively not putting any efforts to fit you in her busy schedule and always ducking you, then you should stop trying.

If she is actually busy, then too, she will always make efforts to keep in touch with you if you are important to her.

She will put every possible effort to text you, call you or even spend some time with you.

So, when dealing with a busy girl, you need to be very patient and supportive. You need to understand that her work is important to her.

So, instead of nagging and complaining, try to keep yourself busy with other things. The lesser time you have to spare, the lesser you’ll expect her to text you.

This way, you also have a chance to work upon yourself. Your happiness won’t be dependent on her text.

When She Has Been Busy

4. She Is Going Through A Bad Time

If you can see that she is feeling low and is lost, then there is definitely something which is bothering her. At such times you need to be there for her.

Make sure that she knows you understand that things are not going well in her life and you are ready to listen whenever she is ready.

While dealing with difficulties in life, a person sometimes loses all hopes and becomes negative.

You need to keep encouraging her and show her positive sides of life. Try cheering them up by doing something nice for them.

But if at some point you feel that their negativity is affecting you, then you should consider letting them be and detaching yourself.

To spread positivity, you need to be positive yourself. Come back later if you need to. Move on in your life before you get lost in the process.

5. Dealing With Monotony  

It is common to have monotony set in if you have been in constant touch with the person.

It happens because we have fewer things to talk about than before.

So, if you want your conversations to be exciting and lively, then try to cut down the frequency of contact. Don’t be available every moment.

Have your own life. The best way to have an engaging conversation is to talk when you genuinely have something exciting to share.

This will give her the time to miss your presence in her life. Another thing you can do is to plan new things with her and ask her opinion about it.

Plan fun activities together which will also give you a hint into what is going on.

If she seems disinterested, says she is too busy and isn’t available even when you suggest an alternative time or day, chances are she does not want to go with you at all.

And if the reason is something else, she might feel like sharing it and say that she would love to go out but cannot because of so and so reason.

6. She Is Focusing On One Thing At A Time 

If she is a person who likes giving equal attention to every area of her life, then you can’t blame her. It’s a nice habit, and you should not try changing her.

In fact, one should try to inherit the good habits of others. So, let her be and give her some space.

Understand that she is a person who likes to be fair to everyone and doesn’t want to let anyone down.

In the meantime, try to utilize the time you have in a better way. Don’t make her your whole world but a part of it.

Have your own life to live and focus more on yourself.

She Is Focusing On One Thing At A Time

7. If She Is Testing You

Testing a man is something women do every time. It comes naturally to them due to a lot of reasons.

We will not be going into those due to the scope of this article.

Sometimes these tests are trivial but sometimes very significant but what matters is how you react.

What you need to do is find out the reason. Know what she wants to gauge through this test and nail it.

Maybe she wants to see if you miss her presence or she just wants to check if she matters to you by ignoring you.

Find out the real reason and then try to fulfill that gap.

Also, don’t try too hard or pretend, anything that you are not. Just be more expressive about your feelings towards her and make her feel good.

8. If She Feels Like She Is A Hindrance In Your Life

If she wants you to stay a little longer on the call or text but is hesitating to say so, then she is definitely trying not to bother you.

What you can do is let her know that she never bothers you and you will let her know if you are too busy to talk.

This way, you are giving her the right to text or call you anytime and not think twice before doing so. Tell her that you love it when you hear from her.

Also, try initiating the text or calls sometimes.

This will give her the message that you too are equally interested in her and trying to keep in constant touch.

If She Feels Like She Is A Hindrance In Your Life

9. If She Is Angry

Fights are very common among people who expect something from each other, but you should know how to handle them as they can make or break things.

Maybe that girl is angry at you as there are unresolved issues or unfulfilled expectations.

The key in such situations is to keep your cool and not get mad or frustrated. Do not try to put out a fire with fire.

You getting angry will only worsen the situation. Try and talk to her, but if she is not responding then don’t force her.

Avoid annoying her by constant calling or texting. Give her the time to cool down and later try to reason with her.

10. When She Is Not Into You Anymore

If she has lost interest in you because of your behaviour or due to losing attraction gradually, then there is still a chance of regaining her attention.

You need to start treating her better than before and start behaving like an attractive man. Don’t behave like a needy person who needs her to be happy.

Girls can smell a lack of self-worth and self-confidence from a mile away. Show her that you care and don’t want to lose her, but don’t overdo it.

But for starters, you’d immediately need to pull all your attention back to balance out the power dynamics. You need to stop texting her or establish any form of contact at all!

Ready my simple guide of how you can stop texting someone so that you can begin damage control.

If she is not reciprocating to any of your efforts and keeps finding reasons to avoid you then back off.

Learn to accept rejection. Learn to take a ‘No’ gracefully. Do not beg her to stay or get angry as to why she isn’t texting you much.

This will only drive her farther away, and she won’t value you. Let her tell you what she wants and respect her decision and boundaries.

Things often happen in a much more favorable way once you stop trying too hard and chasing them blindly.

She's Not Texting Me Like She Used To Conclusion


It is heart-shattering to see someone we are fond of pulling away from us.

But the key is to display your best behavior even when it is complete chaos within your head. It’s easy to lose one’s mind but hard to regain control.

Don’t react without knowing what’s going on in her mind. Now tell us how will you handle the sudden change in her attitude towards you?

Will you mention it to her subtly or will you behave as if nothing is bothering you? Either way, let us know in the comments!

Shashank Verma

A trained theatre actor and a STEM graduate who brings perspectives and methods from these worlds into dating and relationships. Also a big time Krav Maga enthusiast and practitioner.

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